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picture perfect

kids inc, picture perfect, unqualified parenting tips

It’s like I’m like a scientist or something

June 29, 2010

Weekends are best spent at the beach so that’s what we did last Saturday. We woke up early, packed the kids into the car and headed down to Sentosa for a leisurely morning by the beach. I’m not really one for beaches, what with all that icky sand and sandflies and murky water filled with gooey slimy stuff.

But I’m a parent now so I do what I do best these days, which is to suck it up and get on with the program. Just because it makes the kids smile.

I’ve come to realize that the best time to take pictures of the kids is at the start of any activity, way before they have a chance to look like a street urchin. At least for my kids, that is. Which means that I’ve got a 15 minute window of optimum photo time tops.

Remember my theory about boys and girls? I’ll summarize it for you. Boys are disgusting and girls are not. Initially, it was just a theory and I didn’t have any conclusive scientific evidence to support my hypothesis. But I do now.

Peruse Specimen A.

The moment Tru saw the shimmering water from a mile off, he yanked off his shirt and started RUNNING for his life. Before I knew it, he was flinging sand everywhere, and by everywhere I mean in his hair, nostrils, ears, belly button and I don’t even want to know what else. I bet he ate handfuls of sand in the process.

And before that, I was still debating with the husband as to whether we should pack their swimwear. I was all like “It’s so gross, I bet Tru won’t want to go in” and the husband, well he’s a dude, so go figure.

With Truett, he doesn’t take things slow. He doesn’t dip his toes in the water and get his feet a little wet. He goes ALL IN. And at first I was yelling at him to stay out of the water but it was a lost cause. I should have known that I can’t expect Tru to see water and not jump in. It’s physically impossible for him to exercise any form of self control, like there’s some primitive override button the moment he sees bodies of water.

Moving on to Specimen B.

Did I already say she’s a princess? The whole time, she never stepped beyond the boundaries of her little beach mat. Some sand bits inevitably got in between her fingers and she started frowning intently, like “SERVANTS!! Get this grain of sand away from me! And why is it so blistering hot?? BRING ME MY FAN AND MY GRAPES! HELPPPPP THERE’S SAND ON MY DOLL, I’m just going to hold it gingerly like this with 2 fingers!!”

That’s my girl.

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picture perfect, short stories

The rickety old bus

June 10, 2010

There once was a rickety old bus that nobody wanted anymore. Its paint was chipping. The seats that used to smell of fresh leather were now torn and tattered. The windows were long gone. The doors struggled each time it tried to open and shut.  It wheezed and sighed and creaked.

When the new buses came along, nobody cared much for this little old bus and it was soon forgotten.

Everyday, the conductor stood at the door as the rickety old bus rolled around town looking for passengers but none came.

“It’s time to hit the scraps, you’re too old and slow.” some called out. “Nobody wants to sit on a creaky old bus like you,” shouted another.

The conductor didn’t listen. “You’re special and one day, someone will see that,” he told the bus. So off they went on their merry way, happy to feel the gentle breeze that blew through the open windows. “We’re not too old to have new adventures,” they said.

One day, a little boy saw the rickety old bus as it pulled up beside him. He stopped and looked at it. He saw the chipped paint and the empty windows but it was the passenger right at the back that caught his eye.

The boy thought for a moment, then he got up, walked all the way to the back and sat down with a smile. “The bus sure looks like it could use a facelift,” he thought, “but the girl at the back, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Sitting there at the back, the boy was happier than he had ever been before. “I’m never getting off this bus,” he said to himself. He stole glances at the girl next to him, not sure if she could hear the thump of his heart, or if she was just playing it cool.

“She’s totally playing it cool,” he convinced himself.

All day, the bus drove around town and passengers came up and left. But neither the boy or his girl moved an inch. It was the bestest day of their lives.

When they were done driving, the conductor told them stories about all the adventures the rickety old bus had been on years and years ago, when it was not so old or rickety.

“I’m glad you didn’t stop being a bus,” the boy said. “Because to me, you’re the most awesome bus in the whole wide world.”

And the bus just smiled.

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kids inc, picture perfect

It was a rather Hort Day

June 9, 2010

Tru is on a two-week break from school and that means only one thing for me. SMACKDOWN. Momma, the reigning champ, taking on a tag-team of 2 new contenders at the same time.

I’m still not crazy enough to bring both kids out alone so we’re all under house arrest. Which translates into two very hyperactive kids confined in a very small area for extended periods. Two kids, I might add, who are addicted to going out. It doesn’t matter where, as long as it’s outside.

So my day goes something like this.

1. Skull-crushing boredom (for all of us)

2. Oh, let’s fight over toys, fighting is fun and exciting

3. How about some screaming to spice things up a little

4. I’m not going to take my nap because I’m not tired

5. Yay, time to play the lying down game where momma lies down on the floor playing dead while the kids tear the house apart.

It’s a good thing the husband managed to take two weeks off to join in the fun so that I don’t lose my mind completely after 3 days. We planned out an itinerary of fun activities for whole week, starting with Hortpark this morning. This is all part of our elaborate plan to tire them out until they collapse to the ground and beg for mercy.

First sign of exhaustion: water break, plus a dazed look in the eye.

In phase two, we make them carry weights. You can’t see it but the bag is filled with large rocks.

Ah, progress.

This, well, nude photos are always a hit.

Objective achieved. Both babies went back and slept like erm, babies.

Tomorrow, we’ll be going to East Coast or the museum, depending on whether it rains.

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kids in motion, kids inc, picture perfect

Advice: Always wear shorts to the playground

May 22, 2010

My all action boy is a playground fanatic. The moment I mention the word playground, he jumps up and down on the spot and grabs at my shorts, as if yanking it off will help him get there faster.

I try telling him that it’s a bad move because people who don’t wear pants are usually arrested but he seems to think that “arrested” is a fancy word for “fun and exciting“. I suck at explaining words because I end up making it even more confusing with words like “incarcerated” and he just stares at me blankly like “are you done talking, momma?“

It doesn’t help that I don’t know the Mandarin word for playground so it’s not like I can talk in code to the husband. Sometimes I try to mouth the words and Kelvin is all like “What, I can’t hear you!” and I end up having to whisper it loud enough for the neighbors to hear anyway so I just give up and wear tighter belts to make sure my pants don’t fall off instead.

But I secretly kind of like the jumping though. It’s a typically Truett thing to do and the day he’s too cool to bounce on the spot is the day I have to choke back the tears a little bit.

This is me trying to go for an artistic shot. I kept asking Tru to give me some emotion and this is the best he could come up with. I’m afraid I passed on the bad-posing gene.

This pose with Mickey, he did all on his own.

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kids inc, picture perfect

Kirsten and spice and all things nice.

May 19, 2010

Took the camera out for a spin at Vivocity with baby girl yesterday and here’s what I came home with – absolute awesomeness.

I’ve never been a fan of the great outdoors, what with the sun and sweltering heat and makeup melting off my face and beads of sweat trickling down my head. But now I can’t wait to get out in the sun because the outdoor light is magnificent. Makes all the pictures pop.

To say I’m obsessed is an understatement.

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