motherhood

The 2 most common remarks I get when people hear that I’m pregnant again is “you guys are very fertile!” and “you must really like kids!”

The fertile bit is probably true, and for that we’re incredibly grateful.

But the bit about really liking kids isn’t necessarily true all the time. To be precise, 87% of the time, I love being a mom. The other 13%…well, not so much. And the secret is to focus on the good parts so that when you feel like making lists of all the terrible things you want to do to the kids, you remember how much you actually love them.

Maybe all this excitement about having a new baby has been making me sentimental but here’s what being a mom is like for me.

It’s having icy-cold tiny toes dig at my shins in the middle of the night and feel both annoyed and comforted at the same time.

It’s getting unlimited baby kisses whenever I make up imaginary aches and pains.

It’s not having any money to spend on my own shopping because I spent it all on super cute baby clothes. But so worth it.

It’s feeling the softness of a tiny hand inside mine and not having to let go.

It’s arbitrating fights and then see them hug it out all lovey-dovey minutes later. And then see them fight all over again.

It’s being there for a snuggle the moment they wake up from their naps and peer at me with eyes that can barely open.

It’s sharing a slobbery ice-cream cone that’s melting all over my hands and not be grossed out.

It’s hearing them say “I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH” even if I first have to ask “do you love mommy” eleventy billion times.

It’s losing all my me-time and not really minding because all my happiest moments are spent with them anyway.

What’s your mommy moment?

This will be quick, I just needed to write this down. It’s going to part of a series I’m putting together so that when the kids start clawing each others’ eyes out the next round, I’ll read this to them while they cry tears of joy and group hug the life out of each other. I’m calling it the make-up kit (as in make up from a fight, not eyeliner).

All this while, we’ve been teaching Tru that his most important responsibility as the big brother was to look out for his sister and protect her, among others like not sit on her or use her as a trampoline. Even though Kirsten didn’t seem like the sort who needed protecting, we’ve always told Tru that he’s bigger and manlier, therefore equipped to perform his big brotherly duties.

It’s a hard lesson for him because he’s the sensitive soul who’s often overshadowed by his warrior princess sister. Up to this point, Kirsten has proven to be completely fearless. She’s unfazed by (imaginary) giant octopuses or scary-looking uncles and she’ll even offer to protect her brother. Thing is, while I’m sure that she’s got the zest to put up a good fight, she’s small enough to be overpowered rather swiftly.

During a difficult nap session yesterday, I had to physically restrain baby girl to prevent her from climbing everywhere. It basically involves me holding her down in a minute-long strangle hug which was firm enough to prevent motion but not tight to the point of asphyxiation. She yelled like a banshee but her efforts to escape were futile.

6 seconds in, Tru turned to me and said “Mommy, stop, don’t strap mei mei. You strap Truett, then Truett will hug mommy and sleep.”

I couldn’t be more proud.

This is a little late but Happy Mother’s Day! I would have done this sooner but I was too busy spending my Mother’s Day shark-watching with Truett in KLCC’s Aquarium.

Long story, I decided to tag along with the husband for a work trip to KL and that was how Tru got to go on his first trip out of the country. It was tough having to decide on which kid to bring because it’s like having to choose between my left and right kidney. They’re both mine and I like one just as much as the other.

But there are privileges to being the firstborn, I suppose. This is for all the times he had to suck it up and give in to his sister just because he was the big brother.

For a celebratory dinner, the boys took me to Bubba Gump for for some clam chowder and shrimpin’ dippin’ broth.

Tru was all “Mommy, you need to buy a cake so Truett can eat” and I tried telling him he got the order wrong. He was supposed to do the buying and I, the eating, but the idea of being near cake and not eating it is incomprehensible to him.

He did however see Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates and say “OH, I got a present for you!”

When he finally realized that this present wasn’t really a present he could give me, he improvised and raided the balloon basket to grab one for me.

FYI, most awesomest balloon ever.

On a totally unrelated note, I wrote this Mother’s Day piece for Citynews last week. It was such an honor to speak to these women who kick some serious butt at motherhood and I salute them all.

One of the perks of stay-home mothering is room for spontaneity, a quality often sacrificed in exchange for scheduled routines and regularity.

Yesterday though, was one of those days I decided to play the spontaneity card and be all “ok forget routine, let’s go do something fun just because we can.” Right after they got up from their naps, I told the kids we were going on a field trip to the airport. By bus. Just with mommy.

A year ago, I would have considered something like this to be a suicide mission and not to mention, a physical impossibility. I would have needed to carry 2 kids, a stroller and a diaper bag UP A BUS AND TRAIN. Now I’m not a public transport snob (even though I haven’t been on a bus for 2 years), but the thought of hauling 2 kids and half a mobile home up a bus seems ridiculous. I would have been the mother who dropped a kid while struggling to tap my EZ-link card with my teeth as the rest of the passengers gasped in horror.

Before we left the house, I gave them a pep talk to lay down some ground rules.

1. They were to carry their own bags so I could saunter freely along.

2. They were to hold my hands at all times.

3. No whining or tantrums or meltdowns.

Any violations would result in immediate termination and we would turn right back around, hop into a cab and head straight home (that was my back up plan for when something goes awry).

Long story short, it was a hugely successful field trip, one that will be remembered for all time as THE MOST AWESOME FIELD TRIP ALONE WITH MOMMY. They were on their best behavior the whole time, waiting patiently for the bus, sitting absolutely still on the train and following every instruction I gave (at one point, I made them do the Hot Potato dance just for my own entertainment). The journey to the airport took me an hour and a half and we enjoyed every moment of it.

So then that made me realize that I was guilty of being so destination-driven all the time. We talk about “enjoying the ride” like the overused catchphrase that it is without actually meaning it because the journey is so like meh, totally boring.

But for the kids, the journey was as much a highlight as the destination. Being on the bus and train was as enjoyable as being at the airport. So instead of stoning out and wishing the travelling wasn’t such a pain, I should just stop and enjoy the crap out of the journey.

Looking back at our recent Florida trip, some of the best moments we had was during the journey – waiting for the bus to arrive or being on the tram talking for hours. Sure, the destination was all kinds of fun but those long talks and bonding sessions, we had them on the go.

In short, remember to enjoy the journey, won’t you?

PS. I wanted to take some pictures but being alone on an adventure with both kids, I kind of had my hands full. You’ll just have to use your imagination.