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milestones & musings

milestones & musings

I’m a big boy now

April 20, 2009

It was a momentous weekend for my baby boy, who’s made the transition to becoming a big boy. I feel like one of those cheesy parents who make cliched comments like “Aw, my baby boy’s all grown up”. But cheesiness comes with the territory of parenthood because these cliches first start out as truisms until 2 billion parents start saying the same thing.

When you’re watching your kid everyday, it’s hard to notice that they’re getting bigger, taller and smarter. And bit by bit, they start learning to assert their own independence. But it happens so gradually that it takes moments where you look back and wonder how they managed to grow up so fast.

Tru is officially a big kid now. Over the weekend, we just got him a toddler car seat (the forward facing type instead of the infant ones) and shifted him to his new nursery so he’s all grown up and independent. The husband had to clean out the guest room and do it up all nice and cosy with colorful mats and a whole bunch of toys. I was prepared for some separation anxiety and resistance on his part, but he seems to be loving his new digs.

Mama, on the other hand is struggling to cope with the new sleeping arrangement, so much so that I’ve been sleeping with the baby monitor attached to my ear. I was really dreading the shift but it was a matter of time before we had to make way for for the new baby in July. We figured it would be too traumatic for him to have to cope with the shift and a new baby sister all at the same time, in case he felt like he was kicked out of the room.

But now that I’ve adjusted to having back our room (although it will be short-lived), it totally rocks.

1. No more bathing in the common toilet.

2. No more brushing my teeth in pitch darkness.

3. No more whispering in the bedroom.

4. No more tiptoeing around.

5. Bring back the sexytime!

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milestones & musings, seriously somewhat serious

Sometimes…you fly

April 17, 2009

There’s a strip in Neil Gaiman’s Fables and Reflections which has stayed with me for the longest time. In a dream, I’m standing at the edge of a precipice and there’s no way down but to jump. But I’m terrified of heights and I’m pretty sure I’ll plunge to my death.

Morpheus: If you do not climb you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall? Sometimes you wake, and sometimes, yes, you die. But there is a third alternative.

Sometimes you wake up.

Sometimes the fall kills you.

And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

Motherhood is like that. In most ways, I’m resistant to change. I like what’s familiar and safe. My life was good before, when everything was planned out and neat and I’ve got it all figured out in my head. The job, the vacations, the parties, the glamour.

Then the kids arrive, and everything changes. I suppose it’s possible to make the kid fit into your life and keep the inconveniences to a minimum. Some folks get a nanny or babysitter to take care of all the baby’s needs while they galavant all night. Which is not a bad thing, since you get the best of both worlds.

But my mantra for motherhood (for life, as a matter of fact) is somewhat different. In the words of Robert Frost,

Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

After 10 months of countless sleepless nights, missed parties, forgone vacations, I can still safely say that it’s been the best time of my life. I’ve never been happier. Sure, there’s been bad days when I wish life was a little less tough. On retrospect, I did take a peek and wander down the path taken by many, but I’m glad I turned back and chose the other one instead.

Nothing could trump the fact that I’m the first person Tru sees when he wakes up, and the last person to kiss him goodnight before he goes to bed. That I’m there hold him when he’s got a bad day and kiss the boo-boos away. To witness all the first milestones and have him grow up knowing that Mommy’s going to be there no matter what.

So yeah, sometimes you fall. But sometimes you take off on the most awesome journey of your life.

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Kidspeak, milestones & musings, the breast things in life are free

Mom’s the word

April 2, 2009

My boy just said his first word and its MAMA!!! Woohoo! A milestone, I say.

Hang on while I do a victory dance.

The first word is a big deal. Out of the 250,000 words in the English language, Mama is the chosen one. Ok, technically, it’s not an official word, but in my dictionary, it sure counts. The husband would claim that it was actually “Mum mum”, which could just as easily be in reference to food, but he was looking in my general direction when he said it, so there.

And it doesn’t count as cheating even though I’ve been repeating Mama to him about 500 times a day. I mean, he’s the only person I’ve got to talk to, so might as well spread some propaganda while I’m at it.

As James Brown would say, “I feel good!” Almost makes up for all the sacrifice. Just almost.

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milestones & musings

My First 1,000 views!

March 11, 2009

Just like that, my excuse for a blog has hit 1,000 views. I suppose in the big league of blogs, it’s just a drop in the ocean. But still, a drop nonetheless.

I dare say, I’m thoroughly surprised.

I’m surprised that my life as a mother is compelling enough to generate such interest. When you’re the one living it, it seems terribly mundane and inconsequential. Then again, it’s not me you’re here for, is it? That’s fine, I’ve long since gotten used to having my thunder stolen, and by a mere infant, no less.

I’m surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed writing this past month. It’s been a long time since I put my thoughts on paper (or mac) and it’s awfully therapeutic. I almost forgot how much I love writing. Each entry captures a little piece of my heart and soul, and it makes me feel alive.

I’m surprised at where life has gotten me to. Just a couple of years ago, I would never have thought that I’d be a stay-home mom with two kids. I had my life all planned out; I’d have a fancypants job and perfect hair (as opposed to my psychotic-asylum-escapee-hair), jet-setting all over the world.

Most of all, I’m surprised at how awesome being a mother is. Listening to other moms talk about it and watching shows about moms just don’t do it justice. I thought I was making a big sacrifice, but I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

Just the other day, the husband asked a very tough question. “Would you rather have Tru or a million dollars?”

The martyr in me wants to say that I answered without hesitation. But the mom in me thought of all the bills and all the spa sessions and shopping sprees.

“Can I have both?” came my wisecrack reply.

But honestly, I’d take Tru a million times over. And that’s the truth.

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