milestones & musings

30. I’ve always figured that’s one of life’s milestones, just not the kind you look forward to. Sort of like having your wisdom teeth extracted or going for your first colorectal examination.

In fact, I spent most of my twenties trying not to think about it because 30 just seemed so…old. Or at least, it was the gateway to being old, from which there was no return.

People like to say that 30 is the new 20, but having been both, I’m convinced that it really isn’t.

At 20, I was young. Idealistic. A little naive even. I felt unstoppable, like I could do anything I put my mind to. I was hard on others and harder on myself. I made lists of the things I wanted in life – all the awesome things I would do and the places I would go. My modus operandi at 20 was to have fun and carpe as many diems as I could, sometimes a little recklessly.

At 30, I’m older and hopefully a little wiser. Still idealistic, but it’s the kind of idealism that’s tempered with a healthy dose of reality after picking up a couple of battle scars along the way. Painfully aware of the fact that willpower and hard work (though important) aren’t the only factors for success. But on the bright side, along with that realization came a measure of grace and understanding that I was able to extend to others and myself.

Some of the things I so badly wanted in life when I was 20 turned out to be kind of meh, while others became far more important than I ever thought they’d be.

Instead of doing stuff and going places, I find myself wanting to be with people. I’m increasingly thankful for every single one who has been around for us the last 10 years because when I look back, those are the moments I remember with the greatest clarity and fondness.

My twenties are officially over and even though I feel a little wistful thinking of all the things I should have done when I had youth on my side, I’m excited about my thirties.

So there are several more fine lines to deal with. The weight seems harder to shake off. The boobs need a little more help defying gravity. My body feels tired and less cooperative.

But what the heck, I’m embracing it because 30 is where the magic happens.

It’s New Year’s Eve, the one time I allow myself to look back on the year with fondness and regret. To over-analyze the decisions I made, to pat myself of the back for the glorious victories and cringe while reliving the sucky ones. I actually really like the idea of new years. To be able to close a chapter every 12 months and whether it was good or bad, turn the page and start a new one.

2011 was the year I found myself again. For the first time in 3 years, my life was not chopped up and divided between the kids, with the leftover scraps going to all the other responsibilities that clamored for my attention.

This year, the kids grew up just enough to take the pressure off a little. They learnt to depend on each other for entertainment and I stopped feeling like I was living on the edge for every minute of every day. Heck, I even found the time to go for coffee in the morning, have high tea with girl friends, rediscover my love for movies and even read actual grown up books with tiny words and too many pages. Who’s with me in feeling like if you had to read another page of “This is Peter, This is Jane”, your brains would melt into your ears and disappear from your head because it got upset at all the abuse it was taking.

In short, it’s the year I’ve enjoyed motherhood the most.

It’s also been a year of unexpected but awesome surprises. We went to Disney World, Orlando for the Disney SM Mom’s 2011 Conference, went to Melbourne with the kids, won the Best Family Blog at the Singapore Blog Awards, made it to the finals for Nuffnang Asia Pacific Blog Awards and the 2011 Bloggies, had lunch with the President, launched a business just so I could call myself The Boss and the most awesome of all, sent the kids off to school. I totally got my ass whipped by home-schooling and the best decision I made was to cut my losses and let school take over the schooling. Everybody wins.

The beautiful thing about the start of every new year is that it always brings hope. It could very well turn out to be the worst year of our lives but until that happens, there’s always hope that it could be the very best one yet. So c’mon, blow the dust off from your bucket list and at least attempt one. If you don’t have a bucket list, it’s probably a good time to get one started.

Do something for yourself. Do something for someone else. Do something that scares the crap out of you. Do something that everyone else thought you couldn’t do. Do something you’ll remember when the next new year rolls around. Feel alive. Love fervently. Laugh till you can’t breathe. Be furiously happy.

See you in 2012.

My grandma turned 86 over the weekend, which was reason enough for the entire family to gather for a massive celebration. This sort of shindig only happens 3 times a year – on Chinese New Year, my grandma’s birthday and Christmas. We had 4 generations in 1 chalet at Downtown East, now that’s what I call a par-ty!

I also finally managed to get a chance to jam on Rock Band (because despite my awful psychomoto skills, I’ve always wanted to be a drummer and if I wasn’t doing the whole kids thing, I’d run away on tour and be a badass drummer, or maybe just a bad one)

I think my grandma was happy though, with the whole family around. When I turn 86 (oh that’s a scary thought!), I’ll throw a blowout party and make everyone dress up as the Brady Bunch (with the hair and everything), it’ll be so much fun. For me.

That’s the whole family right there.

We don’t really do posed group shots but it was nice to finally get a picture of all the cousins (Gen 3, we call them) together. Here we’ve got Gen 1, 3 and 4, like some cheesy new age Chinese action movie.

Some great shots of the kids with their great grandmother.

One word: priceless.