Kidspeak

Kids have a fascinating sense of logic. We don’t have to teach them to think outside the box because when they think, there is no box. Which makes them so fun to talk to all the time.

It’s only when they get educated that this creative thinking gets beaten out of them and we force their brains into tiny boxes. We’re all for education and science and linear, logical thinking, but we also constantly make it a point not to squash their creative expression.

While playing hide and seek…

Kirsten: Ok ready.

Tru: Ready or not, here I come!

Tru: *finds her squatting behind a door* Mei mei, I see you!

Kirsten: I’m closing my eyes, you cannot see me.

Tru: Yes, I can still see you, you’re right here.

Kirsten: Ok, you must close your eyes, then you cannot see me.

On love and other stuff…

Tru: I love you mei mei!

Kirsten: Um, I don’t love you.

Tru: When you don’t love me, I will still love you ok (it’s something we say to them all the time, and it’s so sweet that he picked it up)

Kirsten: Ok fine…I love you.

Tru: So you must share the iPhone with me.

Kirsten: NO it’s mine!!

Tru: If you never share, then I don’t love you anymore.

Kirsten: I thought you said you love me just now?

Tru: Ok, I still love you, but you must share.

Monsters, Inc…

Tru: Quick, let’s hide, the moster is coming! (the monster being daddy)

Kirsten: I will protect you, I have big muscles.

Tru: No, you’re too small, I think we better hide.

Me: But what will you do if the monster comes in and finds us?

Tru: I will fight the monster with my sword.

Kirsten: If the monster comes in, I will say DON’T BITE ME IT IS VERY PAINFUL YOU KNOW. Then I will cry.

Me: Ok Tru, you take plan A, I’ll hang back here with Kirsten and do the crying thing.

The kids have been taking rather well to the news of the new baby. They seem to be happy that there’s another one of them coming in a few months and I think they like the idea of outnumbering the adults. But then they obviously don’t know that if things come down to a vote, mommy’s like California – I’ve got 55 electoral votes. The husband gets 29 votes and the kids get 3 each.

That’s just how we roll.

Which is probably also why nobody likes to vote around here. They just sigh and shuffle along reluctantly.

But back to the baby. To prepare them for the baby’s arrival, I’ve been talking to them extensively about what to expect when the baby comes.

Carry Favour

Kirsten: Mommy, carry me!

Me: Sweetie, mommy can’t carry you now because mommy’s carrying baby right?

Kirsten: You carry baby with your stomach, you can carry Kirsten with your hands.

Me: Well, ok good point. But mommy will get really tired if I carry 2 babies for too long.

Tru: No, we need to take turns. You carry baby for 5 minutes, then you carry Kirsten for 5 minutes, then you carry Truett for 5 minutes.

Me: I can’t put the baby down until I give birth but I’ll carry each of you for 5 minutes and that’s all.

Oh, Poop!

Me: Who’s going to help me clean up when the baby poops?

Both: EWWW SO GROSS!

Kirsten: I cannot help, you know. I’m too small.

Tru: I will run away, if not the poo poo will drop on my leg.

Me: Oei, then nobody wants to help me?

Tru: Ask Daddy, he’s very good at cleaning poo poo.

Me: That’s very true.

Crying Baby

Me: Kids, what must you do if baby cries next time?

Kirsten: I will kiss the baby and say “Don’t cry..”

Tru: I will tell mommy to go carry the baby.

Sharing and Caring 

Me: Will you guys give the baby your blankie and duck duck?

Tru: How about we buy a new blankie for the baby, then we each have one.

Kirsten: Ok, we need to go kai kai to buy a new one now. Quick, wear shoes!

Me: Hey! How did this turn into an emergency shopping trip? We don’t need to buy it right now, we’ve still got time.

Kirsten: Then we can go playground, YAYY! We wear shoes already.

Me: I just got conned into bringing you guys to the playground. Very nicely played.

Having spent so much time talking to the kids on a daily basis, I’d like to think that I don’t get surprised by the things they say anymore. It’s like I’m almost prepared for all the the random yet perceptive quips that they come up with. I sometimes stop and chortle at how astute some of their observations are but only when they’re really good.

Today, Kirsten said something that made me immediately call the husband because I had to rave about how hilarious it was.

***

I had just picked the kids from school and we were in the car on the way home. I thought I strapped both kids in their baby chairs but somehow, Kirsten managed to wriggle out of hers.

I looked in the rear mirror and there she was, standing in the middle grinning away cheekily.

I’m usually very particular about car safety and I get a little upset if they start mucking around while I’m driving. And because I’m alone with them in the car most of the time, the extra sternness helps them to know that whenever we’re on the road, mommy means business.

But instead of using my fierce voice to tell her to sit down, I just sighed and said “Kirsten, please go back to your seat, mommy’s driving.”

She then looked at me with those innocent eyes and said “Huh, you never scold me ah?”

I tried to explain like “Mommy really doesn’t like to scold you, I just need you to be safe” but I couldn’t stop laughing because that was the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.

***

While we’re on the topic of her wisecracks, here’s a clip of her singing Bad Romance. It sounds nothing like Gaga’s version but if you listen carefully, you’ll hear something that sounds vaguely like “Ohhhh…Bad Romance”

[powerpress]

I know parents who balk at the idea of their kids speaking Singlish but in our house, we embrace it. Not as a replacement for English, but as a language in itself. The way we see it, it’s like a second or third language and we teach it as such.

I have nothing against the Speak Good English campaign. In fact, I fully support it because we should speak English the way it’s supposed to be spoken, with a stiff upper lip, a cup of tea in one hand and a scone in the other. So it’s non-negotiable that the kids learn how to speak good English. We make sure they watch the right films like Monty Python and ‘Allo ‘Allo to complete their English education.

On top of that, we (try to) teach Mandarin and several Dialect phrases. The husband is responsible for teaching Hokkien (so Tru can survive NS) and I’m in charge of Cantonese (so they can order Dim Sum).

So back to Singlish. We both agree that it’s an important language to learn. Growing up, I only spoke *proper* English at home with my parents so I had a tough time adjusting in Primary School. For most of my life, I was the chiak kantang (which means ‘eat potato’, or someone that speaks with an American/British accent) kid in school. To avoid getting stoned, I had to learn Singlish and learn it fast. I learnt to codeswitch when necessary in order to blend in.

Instead of asking “would you guys want to go for lunch together?”, I learnt the appropriate “eh, go lunch leh…”

Or instead of asking “where should we go tomorrow?”, it was “tomorrow how ah, go where happening?“

Besides, when used right, Singlish is so much more colorful and fun.

When you want to say that someone got you into trouble, you can say “I kenna sabo by that joker lah”

Or to describe nice food, you can go “you got try the char kuay teow? Lagi shiok man.“

It’s extremely versatile. Plus it earns you street cred and people are more likely to help you because you’re not seen as hao lian (stuck up).

Ever since the kids started school, we knew that they would inevitably be exposed to Singlish. To avoid confusion, we embarked on their Singlish education. We taught them the differences between the two and how to speak both effectively.

I have to say that it’s incredibly cute to hear them speaking Singlish. A couple of days ago, Kirsten came into our room with her arms full of stuffed toys and exclaimed “I got so many things hor?”

And Truett is now the master of Singlish.

Me: Tru, can you go pack up the room? You were the one who messed it up, so you go pack it.

Tru: WHO SAY? I NEVER WHAT…

Me: And in English?

Tru: I didn’t do it. Mei mei messed it up.

Me: Nice. Go ask mei mei to come here.