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kids inc

Mommy’s little girl

July 24, 2009

It’s amazing how being awake at 3 in the morning can give you immense clarity on things. Here I am half asleep and stoned out of my mind, hoping I don’t somehow spasm and drop the baby while I feed her. With one hand I’m holding her bottle, and with the other, I’m stroking her head to induce sleepiness so she will fall right back asleep after her feed (I’m a genius like that).

And as I’m holding her, it hits me that I now have a little girl in my arms. Ever since the delivery, I’ve been so caught up with the baby blues and the crying and exhaustion that I haven’t had time to really take in the awesomeness of it all.

my-girl-2

With Tru, I feel awfully proud all the time. Like he’s the coolest, cheekiest, most charming boy I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help feeling like one proud mama. He’s all ruddy and scruffy and I know that someday soon, he’ll be too big to my Mommy’s boy. Which is fine by me, cos who wants a namby pamby boy anyway? I’d much rather he goes out to explore the world and come home regaling stories of his adventures.

tru-ride

But now, holding my baby girl, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. She’s so girly and sweet and she’s got this lovely way of looking at me like I mean the world to her. She’s got daddy’s eyes, Tru’s nose and mommy’s drop-dead gorgeous everything else. She’s going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, and we’ll have to have to fight off boys till she’s 25. Or 45. Whichever comes later. Girls are different because she will always be Mommy’s little princess. Even when she’s all grown up and has her own kids, I would still shower her with hugs and kisses and we’ll have long chats over coffee by the fireplace (I’m thinking Lake Tahoe). I’m looking forward to those.

I often wondered before she was born if I would have enough love for the both of them, and whether I’d be able to divide it equally between them. Now I realize that you somehow find it within you to love them more that you ever thought possible. So I’m losing my sleep and a little bit of my sanity. I have been showered with all sorts of bodily fluids. I’m carrying the kids so much that I have lost all feeling in my arms (and they are also scarily muscular). But I’m their mommy, so I’ll suck it up and keep going in exchange for some hugs and kisses.

So before the madness begins again, I have to capture the moment and write this down. It’ll be all hands on deck when they wake up in the morning, so for now, I’m savoring the moment for just a little longer.

by Daphne

kids inc

One is the loneliest number

July 23, 2009

siblings

I’m really glad that my 2 kids are taking well to each other. At first, I was a little concerned about sibling rivalry and whether Tru would get jealous of the new baby that is taking away all of Mommy’s time and attention. The first time he came to visit me in the hospital, he refused to look at Kirsten or go near her. Then we decided to get him a present saying that it was from his baby sister, and everything changed.

Over the past week, he’s been unbelievably sweet to her and just looking at them both makes me feel like it’s worth it, that I made the right choice having them so close together.

Being a single child and having all the attention is overrated. I have a brother who is 13 months older than me and growing up, we had a blast doing all sorts of crazy stuff together. It’s the next best thing to having a twin. I mean, it’s no fun playing alone and there’s nobody to cover your ass when you’re sneaking out to watch a movie instead of doing a school project. Of course there were many occasions where we were clawing each other’s eyes out, but I always knew that at the end of the day, he totally had my back.

Naturally, I’m hoping that the two kids will grow up being best friends. I don’t even mind if they conspire to conjure mischief. My superior Mommy brain will see it coming from a mile off anyway. I reckon my parents knew all our little tricks back then, but they indulged us once in a while.

I have a feeling Tru will be an awesome big brother. These days, the first thing he wants to do when he wakes up is to go and kiss Kirsten (and also poke her eyes and mouth – but I’m taking it as a sign of affection). It’s really sweet and on her part, Kirsten doesn’t seem to mind the occasional poke or smack to the face.

Just the other day, baby girl was crying for milk in the morning, and Tru was beside her drinking his milk. After like 10 seconds of her crying, he put down his bottle and started shouting at her, but not in a vicious way. Like “aahhh, aaahhh, aaahhhh”. I suspect he was trying to tell her that it’s ok, but he figured she probably couldn’t hear him with all the screaming so he decided to shout too. It was actually hilarious.

I think it’s going to be so fun with the two of them around.

by Daphne

kids inc

Sleep is for the weak

July 21, 2009

Sleep is for the weak

I forgot how fun it is to take care of a newborn. I’ve gotten so used to Tru that I’ve taken it for granted that he sleeps peacefully through the night in his own room, feeds without fussing and does all kinds of cute stuff to cheer me up.

Is it bad that every moment of every day, I wish Kirsten will grow up sooner? It’s just been a week into her birth and I’m exhibiting all the signs of a sleep-deprived wreck.

My days and nights have been broken into 2.5 hour cycles of struggling to breastfeed (45 mins), bottle-feeding (30 mins), expressing milk (30 mins) and 45 mins to do whatever else need to be done at home. And there’s the insomnia. I’d try to lie down to catch forty winks intermittently through the day, but it usually takes me a good 30 mins to fall asleep. Then before I know it, Kirsten is screaming again.

When I’m awake, I hardly have the time or energy to spend quality moments with Tru and I feel awful about that too. He’s been a real trooper, entertaining himself and being real cooperative. Sometimes he would take a toy to me, indicating that he wants to play while I’m feeding Kirsten, and I’d be all frazzled like “Later, Tru, Mommy’s busy right now”. And right after, I would feel so bad that I’ll spend the next 15 mins bawling my eyes out. Even though he’s right there, I really miss my boy. I hope he doesn’t feel like I’m neglecting him.

Just last night, I slept a total of 90 mins because Kirsten was having a blast pooping on me and fussing and refusing to latch on again. Every feed its like a game of roulette, I have no idea if she’s going to latch on or suckle for 30 seconds before screaming or just start wailing the moment she touches my breast.

Now that the milk is in, I have no idea what else to do to make her feed direct from the breast. I’ll probably give myself till next Mon to keep trying. Its just too insane having to take so any extra steps expressing and formula-feeding and having to force her to latch on.

The depression is also causing me to lose all appetite, which is probably a good thing in the weigh-loss department. But I’ve gotta eat if I want to breastfeed, so I’m forcing down food even though I feel like throwing up half the time.

I need to sleep, but the end is nowhere in sight. I’m starting to hallucinate and become incoherent. Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy to have 2 kids back to back. It seemed like such a good idea back then, and I was so sure I’d be able to handle it. But I’m up to my eyeballs as it is, and sooner or later, something’s gotta give. I just hope its not my sanity.

by Daphne

kids inc, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Must Love Dogs (Part 2)

July 7, 2009

Part 1 is right here.

I made a home video that is sure to be the next big hit. It’s got a baby and a dog. And Lauryn Hill. And a half-naked man.

All the ingredients for a massive hit.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2j8D_rTffI

PS. Seriously, please ignore the semi-naked person in the background. We were trying to avoid it, which explains why Tru’s head was cut off during some parts.

by Daphne

kids inc

Kiddy rides

July 2, 2009

Bob the Builder ride? No, you can't!

You know what’s the biggest rip off for parents these days? It’s those darn kiddy rides you find in shopping malls. I’ve got to hand it to the folks who came up with the idea, because it is the single most ingenious idea in human history (to slowly siphon off your retirement funds). It’s like a drug that hypnotizes all kids and turns them into raging kiddy-ride maniacs who MUST ABSOLUTELY sit on a useless machine that goes nowhere for 60 seconds.

As far as I’m concerned, the whole idea is retarded. First of all, the rides look mutated and ugly as hell. Just last week, I was at the mall and there’s this ride that’s supposed to resemble Barney the Purple Dinosaur, but it looked more like a T-rex that got caught in a nuclear explosion. The trademark cheery grin was replaced by a grimace that pretty much says “It’s dinner time”.

I mean, if I was creating a useless ride, I’d put a little bit more effort into replicating actual characters. But then that’s the ingenuity. The draw is not in the characters, but the ride, so who cares about resemblance?

And technically, it can’t be called a ride, since it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s more like a stationary piece of plastic that plays gaudy music and moves on the spot for a minute or so. To top it all off, every ride can cost anything from $2 to $5 (for the really big ones). Now, I’m all for splurging on the kids, but I can’t help feeling like I’m suckered every time I have to shell out 20 bucks for a 15 minutes on the kiddy rides. I’d much rather bring him to the theme park or the zoo instead.

I thought I’ve been doing a decent job at keeping Tru away from the kiddy rides, but as every parent will eventually realize, there’s no avoiding them. Every mall I go to, there’s always one at waiting to ambush me. So the other day, we thought since Tru hadn’t been exposed to the wonders of a kiddy ride before, there’s no harm letting him have his first ride. BIG. MISTAKE.

2 rides in, he refused to get off the accursed machine. He was grabbing on to the steering wheel and we had to pry his tiny fingers off the thing and he started throwing a hissy fit. To his credit, the tantrum stopped after 20 seconds, but it was a sneak preview of what is to come.

I’m going to draw up a map of all the shopping malls in Singapore with the kiddy rides all marked with an X, so I know what to avoid the next time I go shopping. That would make my life so much easier.

by Daphne

kids inc

The Bane of Babysitters

July 1, 2009

For the most part, I love being a stay home mom. I’ve pretty much gotten my groove with Tru and the housework and the blog and the rest of the other 15 jobs I hold down. My day runs like clockwork from the time I get up at 7-ish and by the time I get to bed at a little past midnight, I like to give myself a pat on the back for the awesome job I’ve done.

The only thing is that unlike most mothers who can take the occasional night off and leave the kid(s) with the maid, we’ve got to factor Tru in for all our activities. Occasionally, my mom and my sis will watch him for the night, but that’s a trump card I try to save for the really urgent stuff like movies (hey, it’s the only entertainment I’ve got these days) and all.

Without a maid at home, our other option is to get a babysitter in for the night while we take a break. But getting a good babysitter is like striking the lottery. First of all, there aren’t that many of those around for me to pick from. After trawling the online classifieds, I realized that there are 2 kinds of babysitters available.

1. Really old women (usually retirees past the age of 60)

old babysitter

Most of those in this group require you to drop your kid off at their place (I’m guessing its too much of a hassle for them to travel) and the curfew is usually by 10 or 11 at night. No disrespect to older folks, but they usually stuff them with candy and make them watch TV to keep them occupied for the night.

And I’m afraid the intensity of looking after a kid with ADD and a sugar high may cause a mild cardiac arrest for the elderly ones, which would result in a complete nightmare rather than a night off.

2. Really young girls (usually teenagers with NO kid experience)

young babysitter

They don’t mind coming over to your place to watch the kid, but they probably got everything they know about babies from movies like Juno and Knocked Up. I could be paranoid here, but chances are, they’ll dump the kid in his cot and blast angsty music over my stereo to drown out the screams for the better part of the night.

The rest of the time, they’ll be on the phone with some dude they’re too young to be seeing anyway. And that’s if I’m lucky. On a bad day, I might end up with one who’ll invite the dude over to hanky panky on the couch.

I could be wrong here, but I’m reluctant to go with babysitters unless I’m really desperate.

Then while talking to a friend one day, she suggested a really cool idea. I could get some of my married-and-may-eventually-have-kids friends to come over to watch Tru under the excuse of giving them some hands-on experience with a real kid. So it’ll be a win-win situation. We get to take a night off with total peace of mind and also do a kind deed. I mean, having actual experience with a kid is underrated. Which also explains why post-natal depression is on the rise, cos new mothers are not prepared for the intensity of taking care of an screaming baby.

So tonight, we’ll be out galavanting till the wee hours of the night while some friends come over to watch Tru. My plan is to tire him out completely in the day so he’ll be sedated (if not passed out from exhaustion) by the time it hits 7pm.

I think it’s going to be so much fun (for me, at least). It’ll be like my swan song before I pop.

by Daphne

kids inc, pregnancy

I think my mommy swallowed a whale

June 29, 2009

I think my son is struggling with the concept of my second pregnancy. For a 12-month-old, he’s already way ahead of the pack in terms of intelligence, but this is something he’s still trying to wrap his head around. Ever since I found out that Kirsten was on the way, I’ve been indoctrinating him in hope that he’ll be prepared for her arrival.

The first few months, I’d point to my belly and tell him that baby Kirsten was inside, and he would giggle and beat my belly like a drum as if it was some sort of game. I think it was because I looked pretty much the same, so he was blissfully unaware that in a couple of months, he’ll have to share his mommy with another sibling. Or perhaps he was really smart and the violence was premeditated.

But recently, with my stomach growing to the size of Texas, he’s starting to understand that there’s something fishy going on in there. These days, I’d ask him “Where’s baby Kirsten?” and he would nestle his head on my belly, which is the sweetest, most heartwarming thing in the world.

The first time he did it, I almost started bawling at how incredibly picture perfect it was. That definitely made it to the list of “Most Awesome Mommy Moments Ever”.

I’m hoping that he actually knows that there’s a baby inside. Then again, he could be thinking that there are a million chocolate chip cookies inside, which could also explain why he’s hugging my belly so lovingly.

I wouldn’t be surprised either way.

by Daphne

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