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kids in motion

kids in motion

The one where I tell you all about the zoo

I try not to inundate you with posts of banality like my kids going to the zoo or the loo to poo (too much Dr. Seuss) unless you’re into that sort of thing, then please drop me an email and I promise to flood your mailbox. But seeing that the kids just went on their first field trip to the zoo and seeing that given the lack of attractions here in Singapore, the zoo is something of a big deal, I am going to tell you all about it.

Like most zoos, there were lots of animals sitting around looking pretty stoned and more than a little bored. To be honest, I was a little disappointed I didn’t get to see any predatory action like those I’m accustomed to seeing on Nat Geo. Once I saw a lion ripping apart the spine of a wildebeest while it was still alive and squirming (in slow motion, no less). But the lions I saw up close all looked kind they couldn’t even take on an elderly deer with no legs. Tru threw them an obligatory glance and went back to digging crackers from his snack catcher while we were all like “Tru, look at the LIONS!”

this was the ostrich before it became lion food

the ostrich before it became lion food

The only animal he really liked were the hippos and it was mostly because he thought it was Barney. It was like being in Barneyland, except without the singing. Which makes it almost bearable.

Also, I just found out that they have a kickass water play area tucked neatly into a little corner of the zoo, in an area called kidzworld. It’s exactly like that home on the range song ~~where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play~~. The animals don’t actually play in the water but they’re close enough for you to smell the horse sweat.

The absolute highlight was when the husband got completely drenched by a ginormous bucket of water that tips over every few minutes. And of course he had to be standing right beneath it at the exact moment it tipped. I couldn’t have timed it better myself if I tried.

I've got pretty big shoes to fill

I've got pretty big shoes to fill

Baby girl wasn’t particularly impressed by the animals but she started beaming when she saw the water fountains and sprinklers.

daddy says I look like a farmer but I think he means flower

daddy says I look like a farmer but I think he means flower

So that’s my day at the zoo. I hope you had fun too.

UPDATED: I was informed that the ostrich is in fact an emu. I’m not sure about that though. I see a bird with a large ass and it’s likely to be an ostrich. But I’m willing to compromise and call it a bird because I’m a blogger who stands for world peace. That way, we all win.

kids in motion, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Do the robo boogie

When I was a kid, everyone used to say that in 2010, we’ll have robots to do our bidding. While the idea was cool, I knew that a showdown between man and machines would be inevitable. And the outcome: a complete massacre.

So I used to say, give me human slaves any day. I’m way more confident of taking on a malnourished slave that hasn’t eaten for a week than a giant chunk of metal. Not that I’m encouraging slavery. That sort of thing is illegal now. I’m just saying that if I needed to have slaves, I’d pick humans, you know. You don’t want to mess around with stuff like robots.

But nobody listens to me anyway. These days, there are robot vacuum cleaners, robot mops, robot toilet bowls, robot practically anything.

As it turns out, my son, he’s terrified of robots and well, basically all kinds of inanimate objects that move by themselves. He calls them bots very ominously.

My mom has a roomba irobot that’s in charge of keeping the house spick and span (which I must admit is a formidable invention). Tru goes ballistic every time it comes alive. I think he thinks that it’s going to attack him.

Then the other day, he was watching Baby Einstein on DVD with Kirsten and he suddenly starts bawling. Which was bizarre because he loves tv. So I asked him what was wrong and he kept saying bot, bot. And I realized that there were 2 robots (like authentic R2D2 lookalikes) doing the robo boogie on screen.

To test out my theory, I showed Tru this video. And it TOTALLY freaked him out. This, I’m not kidding.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1BdQcJ2ZYY&feature=related

So it’s begun. The robot invasion. In 2010, the not so distant future. I’m teaching him to do the robo boogie so that in case the robots decide to attack, he can blend in and assimilate. It’s a skill I learnt from Sun Tzu (blending in, not the robo boogie). And you can never go wrong with Sun Tzu.

kids in motion, kids inc

Peekaboo

All parents love to take indulgent videos of their kids and make disgustingly awful home videos and then post it on youtube and make everyone they know watch it multiple times.

I’m *NOT* one of those parents because after I make one of those home videos, I post it on my blog and make strangers watch it till their eyes bleed.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70C50F0Q1g

If you actually know me, you’ll be compelled to leave a perfunctory comment on how cute/smart/awesome my kid is.

If you don’t, be thankful I actually edited it down to 23 seconds instead of showing you a full length feature film .

kids in motion, Videos I dig

Vacuum Kid – New and Improved

I came across this kid on Ellen who really loves vacuum cleaners. He’s got 10 different vacuums at home and he’s in tune with all the leading brands in the market.

I mean, he’s cute and loves to clean. What’s not to like?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC5NoQ7Rfcw

I showed this clip to my boy and being the overachiever that he is, he’s taken it to a whole new level altogether.

Me: Tru, check out this boy on Ellen. He loves vacuums. That’s so cute!

Tru: Waradsto feagast staorsf dirst (Big deal, he just likes vacuums. I can actually vacuum)

After this conversation transpired, he’s taken to replacing my Karcher A1000. You heard me. He’s been crawling around the house picking at dirt and eating it. I usually start by placing him in my living room and within 15 minutes, he’d have worked his way into the bedrooms and the kitchen.

It’s incredible, he’s even more advanced that the flipit. While it only vacuums dry and wet, Tru also vacuums dead or alive. Dust, puddles, ants, flying bugs and roaches, they all disappear like magic.

Most vacuums can at best do a functional job of cleaning the carpets. Not so with the new and improved version. He really gets into the carpets and digs out all the stubborn specks of dirt trapped in between the tiny fibers. Best of all, you don’t have the hassle of having to locate a power point or changing the dust bag.

Alright, so once in a while, he’ll be hacking away like a cat choking on a hairball, but it’s nothing a few solid pats on the back won’t solve.

I’m thinking of putting him on the market to see if it takes off. (Hey, college education doesn’t get paid for by itself)

Who knows, he might do one better and get featured on Oprah.