Viral Bacterial

So good news and bad news.

The bad news is that the blog has contracted some terrible illness and has been directing you guys to a dubious Russian site the past day and a half. There’s apparently a virus/worm/hack thing going on and because I don’t speak geek and is therefore no match for a nerdy teenager with douchey headphones and week-old pizza, my only conceivable response involves some hand-wringing and shrieking for help.

Fortunately the husband knows a little geek-talk, so he’s been working with our web hosting people to sort out the issue. The good news is that it finally seems to be back up again for now. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that it stays that way because the truth is, we’re no match for them hackers. If they’re like Obi-Wan Kenobi with advanced Jedi mind powers, the husband is like a young Padawan who can only levitate small objects. While I can only do the standing around and shrieking like Natalie Portman.

And it’s not for a lack of trying either. I spent the better part of yesterday googling key phrases like “help my blog is hacked” and “how to get rid of malicious files in your website” but none of the results proved very useful.

I mean, it’s not like computer code is the easiest thing in the world to decipher. It’s just a bunch of random alphabets that don’t make any sense. We were doing a live chat with the web hosting company and I could barely make out half of what they were saying.

There were all these words like wtlsl, html and php flying around. Ok, first of all, WHERE ARE YOUR VOWELS? And how on earth am I supposed to understand what these words mean?

You know what? Pfffffffpt right back at you.

So anyway, most of the malicious files have been removed but because the site has just recovered from a major surgery, there’s probably still going to be a few kinks to work out over the next few days. Thanks for your patience, we’ll get things back to the way they were soon enough. If you still have difficulties accessing the site, go do some online shopping and come back tomorrow.

PS. If by any chance, you’re the one trying to hack the site, please don’t. I’ll buy you some fresh pizza and make non-vowel grunting sounds back at you if it makes you feel better.

PPS. The virus seems to have jumped onto the husband because his Jedi powers aren’t strong enough. He’s now down with a different but equally terrible illness that has him hacking (*ahem pun intended*) his lungs out at home. So it seems to have gone viral.

PPPS. I’m also throwing in a cute photo of the kids to cheer everyone up a little.