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Daphne

pregnancy

A very uncooperative cervix

July 15, 2014

It’s been a crazy 36 hours which started with some painful, regular contractions on Sunday evening. (yay, finally right?) It was fairly manageable at first so I tried to sleep it off but this is a very thoughtful baby who woke me up at 3am with some good old fashioned pain in the uterus so I could watch the World Cup finals. I love a good game of soccer but frankly, given the state I was in, I enjoyed that match just about as much as I enjoy a bare-handed fist fight with an alligator.

By 7 in the morning, the contractions were about 10 minutes apart and the pain was getting out of control so I woke the husband to send me down to the hospital. I wanted to hulk smash everything in my way but I was also excited to finally give birth. It’s a cathartic mixture of rage and excitement.

9am, got warded and hooked up to the CTG, which recorded erratic contractions ranging from 7 minutes to 15 minutes apart.

I was asked about the pain level. “About 5-6”, I said.

How do people rate pain anyway? Should a 10 be having your arm ripped out by a shark? Or getting stabbed by a fork in the eye – is that just like a 9.27 on the universal pain scale? Or maybe walking barefoot on a minefield of lego pieces on fire – that should be a solid 10 in my books. Also, people who say childbirth without epidural is “relatively painless” or “quite ok”? Shut up, you’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Most of the time, anything above a 7 counts as “STOP TALKING AND MEDICATE ME NOW!!” anyway so 5-6 was in the range of dangerously close but imma put on a brave face and power through so I don’t look like a big baby.

And then came the super fun cervix check. By 2 different people (double yay). I’v never had so much attention given to my cervix. There was like a conference regarding the length of my cervix going on in the delivery ward, complete with grave looks and thoughtful nods.

“Not even the slightest bit dilated” was the official diagnosis.

Now this is my cervix being a jerk. My uterus finally had a turn of heart and decided to get on with the program, albeit reluctantly, so it was all like “ok fine, you want contractions, here you go, here’s more pain for you” but then my cervix had to be all “HELL NO!! NOTHING’S GETTING OUT OF HERE, NOT ON MY WATCH!” so my uterus got all confused and isn’t quite sure what to do with all the useless contractions.

So I’m stuck with erratic contractions ranging from a pain level of 3-5 but not much else. I had to be on the CTG machine every 4 hours in case it escalates, which it might, because with Finn, I went from 1-10 cm in like 2 hours. Apparently, I could be in this state for hours or days or weeks!!??

My options are a c-section (awful recovery), induction (increased risk of wound rupture) or to just wait it out. I’d like to choose none of the above but that’s not one of the options.

Looks like it’s gonna be a waiting game for now.

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to Kirsten with love

Happy 5th, Kirsten!

July 11, 2014

kirsten

Hey baby girl,

I’m just about getting used to the idea that you and me, we’re going to be the only girls around here.

Did you know that when mommy was pregnant with you, I was really sure you were a boy (I had it in my head that I’d have two boys first, followed by two girls – that went pffffttt really quick!). We even called you Travis for a couple of months until we found out that you were really a girl. That afternoon, I sat in the doctor’s office and I suddenly knew that one day, I’d be really glad you turned out to be a girl. I was right about that part.

I’d tell you that you’re special but you already know that.

I like that about you, the quiet self-assured confidence without being braggy or obnoxious. You’ve always been the strong, independent, cool-without-even-trying sort. I knew it the first day you went to preschool. You gave me a kiss, then took your little school bag and skipped into school at 18 months old like you’ve done it your whole life. You make friends so naturally and it’s such a joy to be around you.

You’re equally comfortable playing dress up in your frilly gowns and simulating a game of marvel super heroes with your big brother. That sweet, girly, dainty side and the fearless warrior princess side all mixed in together so perfectly in one awesome little package.

You’re a great little sister to Truett and a wonderful big sister to Finn. It’s clear that they both adore you in their own way. You’re like the glue that holds them together, keeping balance to the force. I have a feeling baby Theo is going to love you to bits, he’s a lucky little fella to have you as his big sister.

You’ve always been my easiest kid. You learnt to sleep on your own in the cot at 8 weeks old, practically skipped the entire terrible two phase, try your best to be a good kid and you want to do the right thing all the time. I know we don’t get to have as much alone girl time as I’d like to. Sometimes baby Finn wakes up and cries while we’re halfway into our snuggly reading time and you’d look disappointed but you’ll always tell me that baby Finn needs me more and that it’s ok, you can wait because you’re a big girl now.

Remember the time you asked me who I loved the most? “Um…DADDY!” I said, half in jest. You looked so heartbroken. “Why don’t you love all of us as much as daddy?” you asked.

I do. There are 5 people in this world that I love the most and you’re one of them. I love daddy differently but you kids are the beat of my heart. One day, when you have your own kids, you’ll figure out how much mommy loves you but till then, trust me when I say that I love you with everything that I’ve got.

Have a wonderful 5th birthday, my princess.

xx,

– Mom

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Finn

Being Finn’s momma

July 9, 2014

So the one good thing that has come out of having these awful pregnancy symptoms is that I’ve been able to spend more time at home with Finn. And that’s a very good thing indeed. Having this baby blow kisses at my tummy has a special way of making everything seem less miserable.

I love being this boy’s momma.

finn

Here’s what it means to be baby Finn’s momma these days.

// Running! Jumping! Climbing! Sliding! There’s no time for sitting around or leisurely walks. MORE ADRENALINE!! HUSTLE, MOMMA, you’re too slow!

// All that running usually leads to some falling. He’ll hold up his injured body part for a kiss as his face scrunches up in pain and a tiny little teardrop runs down his cheek. I’ve learnt that the number of kisses required is directly proportionate to the severity of the fall.

climb, run, skip

// “Love momma!” The two words that turn me into a glob of melty heart jello.

// Tiny hands that fit just right in my palm.

// “OO-DLE!! Want OO-DLE!!” All kinds of noodles, don’t matter if they’re the soft rice vermicelli kind or the springy ramen kind, they’re all delicious.

// Interesting fashion choices, like when he refused to wear anything except Kirsten’s Nirvana top. Who cares if it says GIRLS on the tag? It’s Nirvana. Shh, don’t tell.

hottie

// Random high-pitched talking. We start off having a regular conversation and as he gets more excited, his pitch goes higher and higher until it reaches a singsong hypersonic range and suddenly, we’re talking like two chipmunks. It’s a lot more fun than it sounds.

// The Count. He’s not even two and he’s counting up to 30. Such a show off! But consider me impressed.

// This kid gives the best bedtime cuddles – he has a sweet spot in the nook of my arm next to my chest and he gets really mad when that spot isn’t available. When he discovers me lying on my side, he’ll prod me in the rib to make me turn over. It’s giving me massive backaches but my, these cuddles are the sweetest. Don’t ever stop.

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