Daphne

So it seems like the haze is still hanging around, like a pesky fly that doesn’t know how to take a hint and go away. On the topic of flies, those tiny little flies are the worst! Our new place is on the ground floor and while I love how much natural light and fresh air (haha!) we get, there are these little flies that are always around and it’s driving me nuts. Most fruit flies are just minding their own business looking for food, but these small flies, they love to fly in really close to our faces. It’s ridiculously annoying. It’ll land on baby Theo’s eyebrow and he’ll get all twitchy (okay super cute), and I can’t smack it because then I’d be smacking him straight on the eye. Although I’ve smacked myself in the face several times and the fly is all like “hahahahahahah look at that moron hahahahaha.”

One time, it was on my ear and I smacked the side of my head so hard I could hear ringing for the rest of the day but I killed it and…look who’s laughing now, you pesky dead fly.

But you know what’s worse than flies? The Haze. In upper case, like The Plague, or The Black Death. We get the haze for a few days in a year, it’s annoying but we can deal, amirite? But it’s been weeks and the forecast is that it’ll be around till Nov??!! This is killing me. 20 years later, people are going to refer to The Haze of 2015, a terrible time in Singapore’s history.

Consequently, all the kids have been ill and with 4 kids taking turns to cough into my face, it didn’t take long for me to get it too.

Falling ill with kids around, it’s really a dilemma – do you a) go for the weak, non-drowsy meds that keep you lucid but they take a long time to work, and you have a bigger window to spread the virus back to everyone else? Or b) get the meds that are strong enough to knock out a horse, but they clear you up real quick?

I typically go for the non-drowsy ones, because who has the time to be out cold for 2 days?? Not me. But I’m so done with being ill, and one has to live dangerously once in a while, so at the doctor’s yesterday morning, I asked him to give me the strongest meds he’s got.

“You sure?” he asked again. “You need to take these meds and go to bed, they’re going to knock you out.”

“Yes, sir!”

But what I was really thinking was “How bad can it be? I’ll just take it slow and power through it. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

It was not fine.

Here’s what happened…

12.40pm: Took 2 white pills, two orange pills, one big yellow pill and a blue pill.

12.55pm: I feel nothing. I must be pretty strong, if I might say so myself.

1.20pm: Fixing a snack for the kids. Still nothing. These meds got nothin’ on me.

1.30pm: I’m beginning to doubt that the doctor really gave me the strong meds. I’m not even the slightest bit drowsy.

1.55pm: I just feel miserable. Throat is hurty, I’m hacking my lungs out, stupid meds aren’t working.

2pm: Okay, there we go. I’m feeling floaty. I just need to lie down for a bit. I can power through this, easy peasy.

2.02pm: OHMYGOD I JUST GOT RUN OVER BY A TRUCK I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE. OR LIMBS. I think I’m just gonna squat here like this in the foetal position. Somebody is asking me for an orange and somebody else just pooped his pants.

Cleared the poopy pants, I think some of the poop got into my eye in due to an unfortunate backsplashing that happened the exact moment I tried to peer at his bottom. My reflexes are nonsense right now. Remember to rinse out my eye later.

Orange request sorted, I think?

The big kids have been instructed to tag me on baby duty. I shall lie down here on the couch and close my eyes for a bit. Just 10 minutes, that’s all I need. I’ll still be able to keep an eye on them here in the living room.

2.40pm: Someone is prying my left eye open. Judging by the size and pudginess of hand, I think it’s Finn. “MOMMY CAN I HAVE CHOCOLATE MILK?? CHO-CO-LATE MILK”, he enunciated, as if I was in the early stages of deafness.

With my forcibly-opened left eye, I could see Finn holding a packet of chocolate milk. He had taken the liberty of grabbing it out from the fridge.

I made a mental calculation of the effort it would require to haul my inebriated self off the couch and into the kitchen versus the effort it would require to clean up the mess of spilt chocolate milk and it was a no brainer.

“Hang on, mommy will help you,” I mumbled, stumbling my way into the kitchen.

There’s still poop in my eye, I can smell it. Oh wait, someone else just pooped. Must be that.

2. 45pm: I just got back onto the couch and Finn is asking if I could do a puzzle with him. I’m going to lie down here on the floor next to him and phone it in.

“Mommy, wake up!! You need to sit up and play with me, no more sleeping!!”

“Yeah, mommy’s awake, sweetie. Look, I’m opening my eye.”

“Sigh, never mind. I’ll just play by myself,” Finn said quietly.

I’m too stoned to feel any mommy guilt. “You can do it, baby. I’ll just lie here next to you ok.”

2. 50pm: Seems to be working. Shall not get off the floor, it’s nice and comfy here.

3.20pm: Oh dear how long was I out for? There’s a jackhammer in my head. WHERE ARE THE KIDS??

Tru and Kirsten are making snow for the babies by cutting up sheets of paper into little pieces and flinging them in the air. I cannot even look at this right now.

Back to the couch.

“It’s ok mommy is sick, she won’t scold us. We just have to clean it up later, I think she won’t even remember.” I hear Truett saying.

“Ya, at least we’re having fun and not disturbing her.” It was Kirsten.

4pm: I think the meds are wearing off. I can walk around if I hold on to this wall for support. Whoops, nope. Get back to the couch!

I was basically trippy for the rest of the day and by the time the meds wore off, it was time for the next dose. Good thing the husband came back in time to take over so I went and had an early night.

On the bright side, I feel much better today so maybe it was worth it?