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Daphne

Finn

How sad is this sad baby?

Finn’s been having a hard time adjusting back to preschool after 3 weeks away (2 weeks in Melbourne and 1 week on sick leave).

He’s usually such a happy waker upper but now, every morning, the first thing he asks when he opens his eyes  is “Do I have school today?” And when the answer is “Yes, baby“, his little eyes will slowly fill up with tears, then he’ll flop his head onto the pillow all melodrama like and sob these great big sad sobs. He’ll tear up again while putting on his uniform, or eating breakfast, and when it’s finally time to go, he’ll put on his shoes reluctantly, trying to hold back the tears. It’s just the saddest thing.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

While driving him to school a few days ago, he started crying really bad so I pulled over and just held him on my lap for several minutes. Finally, he stopped and asked, “Is it I cannot cry because I’m a big boy? I think I don’t want to be a big boy. I want to be a small boy because I’m sad.”

I usually don’t tell the kids not to cry because it’s ok to cry. It’s a healthy expression of sadness. I cry all the time when I’m sad and sometimes, crying is good. I always feel much better after a good cry. Exhausted, but better.

So I told him that big boys cried too, and that I’d be here for him until he feels better.

I don’t feel better, mom,” he said.

Is there anything mommy can do to cheer you up? Would you like to watch something on the phone?

No thanks.” This is serious. He must be really sad to refuse the iphone.

Maybe we just need more time. I think you’ll feel better after a few more days and you’ll get used to being back at school again. How about I just hug you for a bit before we go to school?

Ok,” he nodded, looking at me with his puffy eyes.

Sometimes I don’t need you but sometimes I need you,” he added quietly, after a while.

That got me. I’m still coming to terms with having 2 big kids who mostly don’t need me anymore and I’m in mild denial about this, but it does feel like they’re slipping out of my hands. They’ve got friends and school and activities that they don’t need me for so I’m figuring out how to just watch the from the sidelines. That’s the hardest part about being a mom – letting them go. Right now, I’m not quite ready to let go of any of my babies just yet.

Can I tell you a secret? I’m happy when you need me, y’know? Because I need you too, Finn.”

Finn

Baby got back

My baby’s home! And it looks like I’m not the only one who missed him.

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Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

Finn had the best time in Melbourne going camping and fishing and dog walking and playgrounding with my mom and sister but 14 days is far too long for my baby to be away.

Two words: NEVER AGAIN.

It’s been awfully rough for this momma who started out holding his blankie to sleep for a couple of days and then towards the end, it got really, really bad. Like full on hallucinatory episodes kind of bad. I saw this kid who had hair like Finn at the mall the other day and it took all the self control I had not to run over to bear hug someone else’s kid. My brain was telling me that my baby was in Melbourne and he’s not this kid (whose face doesn’t even look that much like Finn), but that rational part got overridden for a moment.

I’m just glad my baby’s home and now my life is complete again.

Last night, Finn was telling me all about his adventures during bedtime, then he suddenly stopped and said, “Never mind lah, I’m so happy I’m home because I get to see you.” Sweet talker, this one.

I may have taken this for granted but let me just say that I cannot describe the bliss that is having all my babies home and being able to hold them all to sleep.

//

And we’ll have Finn take us out with some shots of his time in Melbourne.

(*photos by the sister)

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Clean is always better

One time, I was picking Kirsten up from school and as usual, I asked about her day so we were talking about this new snack she discovered at the canteen and as we walked past a trash bin, suddenly she was all, “Oh wait up, I need to throw this away!

I thought it was her leftover snack or something but she started pulling out wads of crumpled trash remnants from her pocket. Like some torn paper and a plastic bag and a bunch of used tissues??!! I had no idea she could fit so much stuff into her tiny pinafore pocket. I was mildly appalled, like “Sweetie, why do you have all this trash in your pocket? Are you developing hoarding tendencies?? Is there something I should know about??

No lah! My teacher says if we see rubbish lying around on the floor in school, we should pick it up and throw it away. But I couldn’t find a rubbish bin so I put them into my pocket first.

I’ve taught the kids about not littering, but this was something else. My 7-year-old was one-upping me on graciousness and civic mindedness because in all my life, I’ve never picked up someone else’s trash from the floor and stuffed it into my pocket for later disposal.

Woah, well done! Although maybe you might want to find a rubbish bin immediately instead of putting it in your pocket because you don’t know what kind of germs are on the stuff you pick up. And then wash your hands ok!” I told her.

She beamed and then spent the ride home telling me about the importance of keeping Singapore clean so that we can live in a beautiful home.

//

This happened several weeks ago and when I heard about the Keep Singapore Clean Movement, I immediately thought of Kirsten. She would be the perfect person to teach the boys about doing our part to keep Singapore clean so I appointed her our family’s cleanliness ambassador. Her job was to teach the boys about how we can keep our home and neighbourhood free from litter.

Rule #1: Placing litter on top of the bin or next to the bin = littering.

This usually happens when the bins are full, but placing litter on top of or next to a full bin is considered littering. Instead, we should look for an empty bin nearby to bin our litter.

So the rule is that if it’s not inside the bin, it doesn’t count.

This is Kirsten teaching the boys the art of proper binning.

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Rule #2: Not picking up litter that we “accidentally” drop = littering. 

Yes, it’s an accident and yes, it’s extra effort to squat down and pick it back up to bin it properly but if it fell out from your pocket/person, pick it up.

“What if we don’t know that we dropped it?” Truett asked.

“I know! If other people see it, they can tell you so you can pick it up,” Kirsten volunteered.

“That’s a good point. If you see someone else drop something, you should definitely tell them about it.”

Rule #3: Leaving your unwanted items at the lift landing = littering. 

If the unwanted items are too big to fit into a trash bin, there is a proper method of disposal, which I discovered when we were shifting out of our HDB flat last year. You can call up the Town Council for your estate and arrange for someone to come dispose of the furniture/appliances from your home, so instead of lugging it down to the lift landing and leaving it there, someone will come pick it up from your place and dispose of it properly.

//

I realised that kids are really great at doing their part when they feel like they are contributing to something important and also, learning how to be gracious and responsible while they’re young helps them to develop good habits that will last a lifetime.

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They’ve started making a game out of binning trash properly, so much so that they are constantly asking me if I have anything to throw away. And this baby Theo doesn’t even ask. He’s just picking up random stuff from around the house and chucking them into the bin so these days, we have to dig through the trash for treasures before disposing of it. Once, I found $2.40 in coins, plus a remote control in the bin. While it’s still adorable, he’ll have to start learning to tell the difference between trash and non-trash items. :)