All Posts By

Daphne

Finn

7 AND DREAMIER THAN EVER

August 29, 2019

Finn is 7!! I just need to say that being this kid’s mom is the best gig a girl could ever ask for. I could do this for the rest of my life and have all that I need to be happy.

I’m here writing this post wondering if I should maybe dial back on my effusive raving mom mode a little and yes I should, so I’ll just say that this boy is so sweet and considerate and kind and gentle and super rad it is unreal. He needs to come with a warning label attached because he does dangerous things to your heart.

I’m mostly like “I’ve done this mom thing for a while, I’m used to I-love-yous from the kids,” and then Finn comes up to me all casual with a “hey mom, I really like you, can I give you a hug?” and suddenly my heart isn’t good for much else because it’s completely ruined. I think it’s in the way he does it – with so much feels like he’s taking the time to let you know how special you are. A proper Finn hug turns your insides into a big gloopy mess.

//

Finn was the happiest baby who was all smiles all the time. We need to take a moment to talk about that smile. Most smiles do what they’re supposed to do, which is to convey some level of joy but Finn, he has the kind of smile that lights up your entire world. This smile gives you perspective because life can be rough but if I have this smile in my life, I think I’m going to be ok.

When Finn loves you, you’ll know it; but not because it comes with fanfare or dramatic declarations of affection. He’ll sometimes hold your hand a little tighter when you’re walking together. Other times, he’ll offer to share his cookies when he sees that you’ve finished yours. Or he’ll quietly pick up your socks from the floor without being asked to. Or his most devastating move – when he gazes into your eyes with all the love his little heart can contain. The husband will tell you that I’m not much of a soulful loving gaze sort of girl because too much eye contact makes me awkward but I’ll have me some of this heart eye emoji gazing any day.

This is exactly how big Finn’s heart is. Whenever he sees the other kids upset or disappointed, he’ll do whatever it takes to cheer them up, even if it means giving up on the things that he wants.

Like if the big kids are discussing who should read the new dog man book first and they can’t agree, Finn will volunteer to go last after everyone else has a turn. When Theo wants to play a different game, he will be all “okay Yoshi, we’ll play your game instead.”

On weekends, they all get their 1 hour of video game time. Tru and Theo, who are both big on living life in the moment, usually burn through their time before the morning is even over. Finn will save his precious 1 hour so he can savour it slowly later in the day. So when he finally decides to use his time and he sees that his brothers are all done with their 60 minutes, he will offer to donate them 15 minutes each so that they can all game together. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.

In return, all his other siblings adore him. They’re like extra protective of him, even Hayley who will suddenly yell “WHERE IS KOR KOR FINN? DON’T LET HIM GET LOST!!” when we’re out.

Nothing makes him happier than when he’s playing board games with the whole family. I’ve never seen a kid so into board games. He spends hours reading game cards, planning strategies and memorising special moves + elaborate rules. He knows that the Truly Obnoxious curse is ineffective against the Doppelgänger card in Munchkin, and that 5 dumplings will get you 15 points in Sushi Go.

Whenever we’re unsure of the rules in any game, we’ll just have to ask Finn and he will often be able to quote the obscure rule verbatim.

//

I’ll be the first to tell you that parenting is hard and it will drive you to the brink of insanity and it will take everything you have; but you also get to be loved so unconditionally that it makes your heart fuller than you ever thought possible.

Happy birthday, Finn!! With all the x’s and o’s in the world.

by
Theo

FIVE YEARS WORTH OF HAPPY

August 7, 2019

In today’s edition of all my kids are growing up too quickly, Theo turned 5 and I don’t know if I’m ready for it.

Has this boy gotten all grown up or what? I know I should be used to this by now, but this is hard, y’all.

Remember when he was this chubby little baby who loved egg tarts and cakes and green things and bugs as much as he loved hugs?

He ain’t a baby no more but 5-year-old Theo is still a pill of happiness that I get to take every day. If we all had a happiness meter, this kid’s happiness level would be off the charts. He’s the most drama free, easygoing, happy kid who is an optimist through and through. He’s the kind of kid who loves unreservedly and extravagantly just because.

The great thing about having 5 kids is that they’re all so different and I get to enjoy all the very best parts. Like when I’m having a rough day, all I have to do is take a dose of Theo’s hugs and I always feel better.

**

Theo’s all about family.

He loves being part of the tribe and he makes it known often. We’ll be having dinner together and he’ll suddenly pause his eating and announce, “I like this happy family” like the thought meant so much to him that he had to immediately share it.

His favourite moments are playing together with all his siblings in the room before bedtime. It can be a dance off or an elaborate stuffed animal wedding ceremony or a pokemon battle and Theo will be all in. He will beam so wide that it lights up his whole face and it makes my heart turn into a puddle right there.

Occasionally when we’re out with all the kids, one of the methods we use to herd the kids along is to be all like “let’s go kids, you’re going to get left behind.” After 3-4 rounds of this, I’ll finally say, “bye guys, if you decide to stay here, we’ll see you when we see you!” This is usually the cue for them to drop everything and get going.

All the kids (including Hayley) know that there’s no chance of us ever leaving anyone behind and they will play along like “bye [whichever kid wandering off/usually Finn], see you next time!” but not Theo. When it comes to the possibility of losing any of his siblings, Theo takes no chances.

“STOP, DON’T GO!!” he’ll yell and then run back to grab whoever is left behind.

//

He may be the second youngest kid around here but on the inside, he’s got the fearlessness of a big kid.

One time while we were all at a water playground, Finn was getting shot in the face by a much bigger kid wielding a water bazooka. Poor Finn was a little helpless, trying to run away and dodge as the other kid kept shooting. I was about to intervene when Theo sprinted over from across the park towards the kid who was doing the shooting and told him off sternly, “DON’T SHOOT AT MY KOR KOR FINN!!”

The big kid who was at least 11 or 12 took a look at Theo’s face and then basically backed off meekly.

Theo then ran to Finn and stayed next to him for the remainder of the day.

Another time at a different playground, Finn’s balloon sword was swiped by another kid and in usual non-confrontational Finn fashion, he pretty much let it go and went off to play with something else while keeping an eye on his toy from a distance. Eventually, Theo came across the other kid with Finn’s balloon and you can be sure that he wasn’t quite as non-confrontational.

“Um hi, this belongs to my brother,” he told the kid. “Can he have it back?” Just like that, Theo valiantly returned the sword to his big brother and they resumed playing happily.

All I know is that when I grow up, I want to be as confident as this kid.

**

At 5, Theo still comes into my room for a cuddle every morning and I’ll ask him if he will be my baby forever. His answer is always the same. “Forever is a long time but I’ll be your baby today.”

I’ve done this long enough to know that I only get to baby these babies for a short time before they get all big and have no use for babying anymore. I’ll figure out what to do with my heart when all of the todays run out but for now, I’ll take today for as long as it lasts.

by
Kirsten

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE RADDEST 10-YEAR-OLD IN THE WORLD

July 19, 2019

Once there was a girl who at first glance, seemed like any other 10-year-old. She didn’t possess unusual ability, nor was she considered to be a child prodigy by any means.

She wasn’t the sort to seek out the limelight; even though she would smile when the occasional praise came her way. She wasn’t driven by the achievement of an audacious life goal as precocious kids often are. When asked what she wanted to do when she grew up, her response would be a shrug, accompanied by an “I don’t know yet…something good that helps people.”

She was bright, considerate, down to earth (perhaps a little too much?), had a fantastic sense of humour, always wanted to do the right thing and was generally a delight to be around. I suppose all of these qualities made her blend in even more, which suited her just fine.

Sometimes, she would wonder what it would be like to be someone special. “That would be really cool,” she thought, “if I were a princess or a president or a movie star.” But those thoughts didn’t stay for long, because then she would think, “I’m just me, and that’s kind of okay too.”

What she didn’t know was that it was more than kind of okay. People couldn’t quite put a finger on it but everyone who met her would leave feeling…different. They smiled a little wider, skipped a little as they walked away and felt the sun shine a little brighter. She had a way of bringing that extra bit of joy to the those around her. If she wanted, she could be a princess or a president or a movie star, but she didn’t need any of those things to be special because she already was.

If you asked her mom, she’d tell you that this is straight up the best 10-year-old girl she ever knew and there’s no other kid quite like her.

Also, special is great and all but more importantly, she was loved.

###

Kirsten just turned 10 I’m not sure how I feel about this – I didn’t expect so many feels with this development, to be honest. I’m here watching this baby become a grown up human being and it scares me a little. She’s only 10 but in her exceptionally grown up moments, I’m already seeing glimpses of the person she would be in 10 years time. I’m so proud of the kid she’s grown up to be and excited for what she has ahead but also a little sad because this means I’m already done with 10 years of hardcore parenting and at some point in the next 10 years, I’ll just get to sit by the sidelines and watch her be her own person.

Right now though, she’s crushing it as a 10-year-old, being all responsible and thoughtful and making amazing big kid decisions in life. She’s always been emotionally mature and thoughtful beyond her years, but I think being 10 has really worked for her.

One of the underrated things she’s exceptional at is reading situations and knowing what needs to be done and then doing it without being asked to. In basketball terms, she’d be the player with a rock solid defence, who hustles for every loose ball, goes in for the screen, has the highest steal record, and is basically the real MVP even though she doesn’t score the most.

In this family, she’s the one who immediately steps in whenever I need an extra pair of hands. Like when I’m on the phone and one of the babies is yelling for grapes or a snack, she swoops in and is all like “What do you need, Theo? I’ll get it for you, mom is busy right now.” When we were in Tokyo and Hayley was suffering from severe separation anxiety, the baby would only feel better when Kirsten was with her. “I want jie jie to sleep with me,” Hayley would announce every night. Even though she wasn’t accustomed to being kicked in the ribs by a demanding baby throughout the night, Kirsten took her babysitting sleep duties very seriously those 10 days.

And she does all of these things so seamlessly without any prompting that it’s easy to not even notice. Sometimes, I’ll suddenly realise that my life has gotten significantly easier – like the yelling has stopped in the background while I’m on the phone, or that something I needed to attend to was already done – and it’s almost always because of this amazing kid and I’m just so pleased that I get to be her mom.

//

There was this time where we were trying to come up with an affectionate nickname for Kirsten. Truett has been Tru since he was a baby, Finn is Finny/Finn Finn/Fiiiiiinnnnnn (depending on the situation), Theo is Yoshi (don’t ask), Hayley is Hayley bun (probably not for much longer) but Kirsten was always Kirsten.

Tru suggested Kiki but she didn’t like it much. “How about Kir kir? Kit kat? Cookie? Curtain? Kirstenator?”

“I think just K will do,” she said. Somehow it suited her, it’s not fancy or too much; if there was a kid who could do with a single consonant, it was probably Kirsten.

I love this kid so much sometimes it feels like my heart can’t take it. Happy birthday, K!!

by