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Daphne

coolest kids ever

Gunning for a win

September 25, 2012

With two toddlers who are about the same age, there’s a lot of mediating to be done.

You know how toddlers are – what someone else is having always seems to be SO MUCH MORE FUN that whatever they have, and they’re always clamoring for the same items all the time.

We’re not the sort of parents who buy two sets of everything just to stop them from fighting so instead, we have to come up with creative ways to make them share.

One of these ways is what the husband calls the Crossbow Shootout.

It’s pretty straightforward. The kids take turns to knock over a target with the crossbow and the first to reach 3 hits gets first dibs on the desired object. This method has been surprisingly effective and whoever loses will be a good sport, like “sighh ok fine you can have it first.” No tears, no fuss, no shrieks, everybody’s happy. Plus they develop psychomotor skills in the process. #WIN.

At first we thought that Truett, being the more athletic, physically-coordinated one would have the upper hand but as we’ve come to discover, Kirsten has quite a deadly aim. She’s outshot Truett, the husband and me. And no, we didn’t deliberately let her win.

All the girl needs is some crazy red hair and she’ll be Merida from Brave.

We’re going to have to come up with a new challenge to balance the odds.

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how i pretend to be a cool mum, lists you should paste on your fridge, milestones & musings, unqualified parenting tips

Lessons from a 3rd time mom

September 24, 2012

When I first had Truett, I was as uptight as a new parent could be. My life was a variation of the following scenarios:

“He was supposed to take his nap 3.17 minutes ago, now his schedule is all ruined it’s a disaster!”

“Why is he not drinking his milk, quick call the PD for a consult!!”

“He fell asleep on the baby swing? ANOTHER DISASTER – WAKE HIM UP NOW!!!”

“HE’S BEEN FUSSING FOR AN HOUR IT’S BABYGEDDON SOMEONE ALERT THE MEDIA!!!”

Thanks to all the expert baby books, I had a lot of rules to follow. No rocking to sleep. No falling asleep while drinking milk. No pacifier. I had a strict 3-hour schedule to abide by, right down to the minute.

Then I had a second kid and decided to break some of the rules. Turns out, the world didn’t come to an end and the baby did just fine. I realized that while some of those rules were good, they’re supposed to help make my life easier, not harder. And having my panties all up in a bunch all the time wasn’t making my life easier.

Now with the third kid, I’ve learnt some lessons that I thought I’d share.

1. Every baby is different. 

Some babies sleep more than others. Some babies need more attention. Some babies love being rocked to sleep, some babies hate it. Some babies thrive on having a fixed routine, some are a little more flexible. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Do what works for you and your baby. 

There isn’t just one right way to parent. Be a helicopter parent or an attachment parent or a sleep-training commando parent or a combination of all of the above. If it works for you, don’t let anyone guilt you into feeling otherwise.

3. Sometimes, it’s ok to break the rules. 

It’s ok if baby misses a nap or stays awake for an extra 27 minutes. Be a badass and break the rules. Or be a badass and don’t.

4. Enjoy the process. 

It’s hard to enjoy the baby when you’re stressed out and frustrated half the time. Take a break if you can afford the time. Watch your favorite drama, take a long shower, have a cup of coffee – do what makes you happy, even if it’s just for a while.

I used to be so hung up over trying to be the perfect mom that I allowed myself no margin for error. But guess what? This whole parenting process is one of trial and error. And I’m fine with the fact that I’ll never be a perfect mom.

As long as my kids think I’m a rockstar, I’m think I’m ok.

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breastfeeding, side effects of motherhood

Genie in a bottle

September 21, 2012

I honestly think the first month of a baby’s life is the hardest. For me, that is. The baby is just like “Wheeee, this is fun! I’ve got magical powers that summon big humans just by screaming. I shall now make a scrunchy face to get milk!”

I, on the other hand, get to know what it feels like to be a genie.

No wonder genies are always so sullen all the time. Well, except the one in Disney’s Aladdin. That one is almost annoyingly happy and sings a lot. Then again, everyone’s happy in the Disney universe. Real genies are a lot more sulky, and understandably so.

The first month, there’s the confinement. Even though I’m not fussed about sticking to traditions, the confinement does serve a practical purpose. It’s just so much easier to be at home with the baby where I’ve got all my baby equipment and everything is nice and comfy. On the down side, I’m stuck at home all day in my milk-stained tees and crazy hair and a baby attached to my boob. Not exactly glamorous.

The breastfeeding has improved now that we’ve got a rhythm going. It still hurts though. I was feeding Finn the other day when the husband came into the room and he was like “Why are you twitching?”

“What? No, I’m not.”

“Are you turning into Harry Redknapp? (It’s an Arsenal fan joke – they call him Twitchy)

“My boobs hurt and it’s making my face twitch involuntarily ok happy?”

“I hope it’s not a permanent thing or I’m going to have to call you Twtichy.”

“Just go away.”

I hear the pain goes away after a month or two. Hopefully sooner, so I can stop twitching.

And then there’s the guess-why-I’m-screaming game. With a newborn, you never really know whey they’re crying. You think they’re hungry but after drinking for 5 minutes, they projectile vomit everywhere. It’s like playing Mastermind every time they cry to try and eliminate all the possible reasons. Are they hungry, burpy, poopy, gassy, too cold, too warm, tired, not tired, bored, over-stimulated, under-stimulated…and OMG this list isn’t even exhaustive.

6 more days till he hits the 1-month mark. When we get there, we’re going out to celebrate.

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