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Daphne

growing up, kids inc

Wake me up when September ends

October 1, 2012

I spent the better part of this year being pregnant and when I finally gave birth in August, I hung up a sign that said “wake me up when September ends” and went into hibernation. And by hibernation, I meant the kind where I have to wake up every 3 hours to feed a hungry baby, burp the baby, express milk, change the baby and try to make him go back to sleep before it’s time for the cycle to start again.

Which in actual sleeping terms, is the opposite of hibernation.

Amidst the frenzy, I woke up this morning to find that September has bitten the dust. We’re into the final quarter of the year, F1 fever is has come and gone, drama season is starting and I’m as exhausted as ever.

In other news, Finn is 5 weeks old. He spends a longer time awake, responds to our voices, gurgles when he’s happy and is getting chubbier by the day. Every morning after his bath, I do the thigh test. It’s where I bite his thigh to see how chubby it is and so far, it’s still hovering at the not-chubby-enough mark. The husband says normal people use a measuring tape for this sort of thing but he doesn’t understand that I’m also measuring the firmness, bounciness and juiciness at the same time. Besides, it’s so much more fun this way. I just took a bite this morning and in my expert opinion, I’d say give it another month or so and it’ll be just right.

He’s also developing a quirky sense of humor. After his feed earlier, he made a pack of poop and started grinning goofily. Like “hur…hur hur hur…hur…”

We couldn’t agree on a nickname for him so we’re all calling him by different things. Tru calls him baby Finn, Kirsten calls him di-di (little brother), the husband calls him Finn Finn and I call him handsome.

I think he likes mine best.

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giveaways reviews ads

Supermarket Sweep

September 28, 2012

I do a lot of online shopping, which is exactly like actual shopping except less tiring and I can do it with one finger.

Especially since so much of my time is now taken up by breastfeeding and expressing milk, I multitask by getting some retail therapy in the process. Every feeding session, I spend like the first 3 minutes making googly eyes at Finn and when he goes all milk comatose on me, I spend the next 25 minutes using my spare hand to do a bit of shopping.

I typically shop for kids’ stuff, adult stuff (no, not that kind of adult stuff), home stuff – basically everything from bags to book to bra extender hooks (yes, it’s a thing). Well, everything except for groceries because there just isn’t an online grocery store that’s compelling enough.

Until now, at least.

I just made my first purchase at RedMart and I’m really quite pleased with how convenient and fuss-free it is. Which makes me wonder why I haven’t been doing this sooner. The range is extensive (with over 4,000 items in stock) and all the items are conveniently categorized for easy browsing. I like how clean the interface is, so all I need to do is add to cart –> checkout –> pay and I’m done with several clicks.

And making payment doesn’t get any more convenient. You can pay via credit card or PayPal on site or by cash, cheque or credit card swipe upon delivery. That pretty much covers all the possible payment options, maybe except barter trade, which people don’t do much of these days. They should though. I’d be all “good sir, I’ll offer 2 chickens in exchange for a bottle of that fine dishwashing liquid and that pack of gum.”

How about the prices, you ask? It’s very competitive and I know because I take my bargain hunting very seriously. I’ve got auntie superpowers when it comes to grocery shopping – I cross check all the prices and make the husband detour to a different supermarket because the toilet paper is $0.75 cheaper. There’s even a RedDealz section with all the latest promotions, which is where I recommend you start your browsing. You’re welcome.

So after you’re done shopping, you can arrange to have everything delivered to your doorstep within the same day (if you order before 10am). Delivery is free with a minimum spend of $75 and when you have a house full of hungry kids, hitting $75 on groceries is easy peasy. Free shipping means I no longer have to struggle with bags of groceries while herding the kids like a crazy person. Just click and everything appears at my house like magic.

I could totally get used to this.

Alright, since we haven’t had a giveaway for a while, let’s have a good one. There’s a $75 credit (free shipping, yay!) at RedMart up for grabs and all you need to do is list down the 3 items you’d definitely get from the store.

Here’s mine:

Leave a comment with your answer below and a winner will be randomly selected. Remember to fill in your email address so I can contact you. Contest closes on 5 October (Friday) 2359hrs. *Open to Singapore residents only.

And because we are all winners, everyone gets 10% off your entire purchase at RedMart (first time orders, not applicable to baby formula). Just key in the code  “motherinc” upon checkout to enjoy the discount.

Happy shopping!

*UPDATED: Congrats to Jaslyn, winner of the $75 Redmart store credit. An email is heading your way, do get back to me with your details to claim your prize. And thanks to everyone for joining the contest. Till next time!

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seriously somewhat serious

Not quite so warm and fuzzy

September 27, 2012

Today’s post is totally serious and a little long so you’re welcome to come back tomorrow instead for something fun. Tomorrow’s post will be fun. 

***

I often hear about women describe their breastfeeding experience as a fulfilling and enjoyable one. They talk about how much they love the bonding session and how warm and fuzzy it makes them feel.

I’ve never had that.

For me, breastfeeding feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole after getting punched in the gut.

Initially, I thought it was post natal depression but I started to realize that this terrible feeling of dread only came whenever I was breastfeeding. And after some research, I found out that it’s a condition called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER).

It’s basically a feeling of dysphoria caused by a drop in dopamine whenever milk is released. For most women, this dopamine drop is barely noticeable but in cases of D-MER, the sudden drop causes a negative emotional reaction that lasts until the dopamine levels re-stabilize. It’s a reflex (like a knee-jerk reaction), which consistently happens every time I experience milk letdown. And because it’s a physiological response instead of a psychological one, it’s not something I can rationalize away by using mind over matter techniques. It just happens.

The good news is that the feeling doesn’t last long. It hits me for about 30 seconds right before each round of Milk Ejection Reflex (MER) and goes away once the milk starts to flow. The not so good news is that I usually get 3-4 rounds of MER per breastfeeding session so that’s about 30 rounds of dysphoria a day.

For quite a while, I had no idea how to deal with this because it’s not a common condition and not many people talk about it. It was like I was the only one who felt inexplicably sad and down while breastfeeding. I thought I was sinking into depression and falling into a deep dark hole I could never get out of.

With Kirsten, I struggled with it a lot. It didn’t help that I was physically, emotionally and mentally stretched to the limit trying to handle a 13-month-old Truett and a newborn on my own.

This time with Finn, knowing exactly what it is helps me to deal. When I feel the familiar sense of dysphoria creeping up on me, I take a deep breath, brace myself and wait for it to be over. Latching on directly also helps because being able to hold baby Finn and run my fingers across his little cheeks somehow makes the depression a little less depressing. Other times, I try to distract myself by watching reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway on Youtube, surfing the net or listening to happy music.

Occasionally, despite all the mental pep talk, I start breastfeeding and I feel like I’m slipping into the dark and twisty hole again.

On those days, I get help with Finn so I can sleep in for another 3 hours. Or just get out of the house for a cup of bubble tea and a cupcake. Or spend some time snuggling with the bigger kids, laughing and telling bedtime stories.

One way or another, I’m learning to cope.

 

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