Yearly Archives

2014

Finn

Big brother status

October 23, 2014

I wasn’t sure how Finn was going to adjust to being a big brother seeing how he’s been the baby of the family for the past 2 years but he’s been doing a fine job of it.

Well okay, he thinks babies are terribly boring but that’s to be expected of a 2-year-old because I do too and I’m 32. When baby Theo first came home, Finn regarded him with mild disinterest. He went to observe this strange new specimen we were all fussing over and after looking the baby over for a minute or so, he got bored and ran off to play.

Since then, he’s been paying more attention to the baby – doling out surprise kisses, singing loudly in his ear while he sleeps and shoving random toys in his face. It’s sweet.

theo finn

finn theo

The downside of being bumped up to big brother status is that he loses dibs on momma time. It’s the rule of the universe – the baby gets dibs because they know nothing about delayed gratification. “What? WAIT for my milk?? You must be joking.” Meanwhile, the bigger kids have to wait their turn. “Momma play puzzle?” Finn would ask while I was feeding the baby. “Sorry sweetie, give me 15 minutes. I’ll be with you once baby sleeps ok?” //Cue sad baby eyes.

Some nights ago, he was in a tantrumy mood, refusing to go to bed. “PLAY TOYS! Finn Finn play toys with momma,” he said over and over again. I gave him his milk, sang to him and told him 3 stories but he was intent on staying awake even though his little body was exhausted. “Momma carry?” he insisted. “No baby, I can’t carry you to sleep, you’re seriously too heavy now.” “MOMMA CARRY PLEEEEEASE?” he shrieked. A few no’s later, he shouted “NO MOMMA…I WANT AUNTY CARRY!!” I didn’t know how to answer that and in the silence that followed, all I could hear was the breaking of my heart. “It’s ok, I’m here, son. Momma is here for you.” 20 minutes of this back and forth later, he finally climbed onto my chest and lay there holding me till he fell asleep.

He’s never fallen asleep like this before and I realised it’s exactly how I hold Theo to sleep – head pressed against my chest.

Sigh, so this whole episode was my little boy missing me and this was the only way he knows how to show it. Maybe he thinks staying awake means he gets more time to spend with me. Or I don’t know, maybe he thinks being a baby like Theo means he gets back his dibs on momma. Or saddest of all, maybe he thinks should get used to the idea and go with a replacement. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I know it’s a lot to ask of a 2-year-old boy, having to share his mommy with a needy baby who gets to be carried all the time. And he’s so sweet to love Theo as much as he does.

It’s probably the hardest part about having so many kids, finding the time to love on each kid when they need it, especially when they all seem to need it at the same time. I tell myself they get other perks like having siblings to go crazy with but sometimes, it’s just not the same. These parenting choices are so hard to make. Have I been focusing too much on the baby? Which kid gets my attention at any given time? Will it ever be fair to all of them? If only I could clone another me, I’d do it. I hope it’s just a phase and things will even out once the baby becomes less needy.

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kids in motion

Things that happened

October 20, 2014

Here’s what we’ve been up to lately.

Baby Theo learnt to sit up unassisted. He’s been practising with his bumbo but he ditched it in favour of sitting on the couch like a big boy. At first, he was a bit tentative, like “is this how this sitting thing is done? Don’t fall over, don’t fall over, don’t fall over…”

is this how you sit?

And then he got more comfy and confident.

sitting up

And then he really got into it. “Is this what big people do all day? Sitting around watching stuff and eating stuff? I could totally be into that.”

having fun

And then he was all like “okay…this sitting around thing is so overrated.”

boring

What’s up, Theo?

Nothin’, I’m just sitting here chillin’.

***

We finally attempted a meal out in public with 4 kids, and by we, I mean me and the husband – the only person in the world who is crazy enough to attempt something like that with me. He made his scrunchy eyebrow face when I suggested “hey, let’s bring all the kids to the airport for dinner”, which is basically husbandspeak for “what, are you crazy?” But then he immediately followed it with words along the lines of “okay, let’s do it. I’ll do the crazy with you.”

The husband is my voice of reason but he knows that these crazy ideas in my head don’t go away quietly by themselves. And talking them out doesn’t really work either so he lets me try them to realise on my own how insane the idea was in the first place and I’d be all “ok that was a bad idea, let’s not do it again.” The best part is that he actually does it with me even though he knows it’s going to be a total disaster and then he gets the satisfaction of watching me eat my words.

Verdict?

bad-idea-2

Why? Let’s see. There’s Finn, a human hurricane who needs one dedicated adult eyeballing him at all times. This kid has no regard for danger and for someone with tiny legs, he is ridiculously fast. There’s also Theo, who lacks mobility but he has to be carried all the time and he is starting to weigh as much as a small bear holding a bowling ball. When I’m carrying him these days, my brain stops working because all that energy is going into making sure he doesn’t fall out of my arms. Tru and Kirsten are like wild cards. They sometimes double up as Finn-catchers when he starts bolting but they have the awareness of a squirrel and usually when they start chasing after Finn, they forget that their mission is to subdue him so midway through the running, they’re all like “This is a fun game! Let’s run faster and split up in different directions so dad and mom can’t catch us.”

It’s fun, attempting to eat while running after crazy kids and holding a fat baby. Let’s not do that again.

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Advertorial

Listening to my body

October 16, 2014

Moms are basically ninjas with 8 hands who can also teleport. It’s like we always have to do a thousand things and be everywhere at the same time.

Sometimes, I feel like my body is trying to tell me stuff like “take it easy”, “can’t keep up!” or “NEED. MORE. SLEEP!!!” but I just don’t have the time to stop and listen because I’ve got 4 little humans talking to me all day and night. On top of that, I’ve also got a job, a small but very fun label business, plus this little blog where I pen down my thoughts about being a wife and a mother. And right now, a ridiculously cute tiny baby who is also a tyrant. So um, what? My body needs me to slow down and recharge? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

daf + kids

And you know the crazy thing with moms is that we think placing ourselves at the bottom of a very long list makes us extra awesome. We wear it like a badge of honor, to see how much of a beating our bodies can take before we collapse. It’s insane. Then we sit down and ask ourselves: “Why did we do that?”

Like “Hey, I slept a total of 30 hours this week. Take that, all you weaklings who operate on 56 hours of sleep. Sleep is for the weak!” as if it will somehow makes us a better mom if we wear our bodies down and sacrifice more for the kids.

People say that age is only a number but lately, I’ve realized that age is actually catching up with me and the best thing I could do for my kids is to listen and take good care of my body. A fitter, stronger, sharper me will be able to do a better mommy job than a battered, exhausted, drained version of me. The kids don’t need a mom who’s barely able to keep it together – fatigued, aching everywhere, distracted, absent-minded, and dealing with a pounding headache. That mom is just sad.

What I need to do is start paying attention to the signals that my body is sending. That’s where BRAND’S® comes in, to remind me that help is only a bottle away. With BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken, it provides regular restoration to help keep me sharp, focused and alert all day, so I’m able to be on top of my game. It’s pretty much that extra boost I need to restore my mental and physical focus, and a bottle a day is all it takes help me be at my best.

brands chicken essence

BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken is now also available in convenient, easy-to-swallow tablets, which contain Vitamin B Complex, Iron and Vitamin E that provides a dual-action formula to boost mental alertness and protect against free radical damage.

It’s an easier and more convenient way to obtain the benefits of essence of chicken. Vitamin B Complex promotes energy production to support brain function and a healthy nervous system, Vitamin E helps to protect brain cells against free radical damage produced during heavy mental workload, while Iron assists in the formation of haemoglobin in red blood cells which transports oxygen to organs. The convenient pill form (60 tablets/bottle) is perfect for our busy mummy schedules.

All you need is two tablets a day, which contain the following:

  • Essence of chicken powder – 800 mg
  • Sodium ferrous citrate (10 mg iron) – 100 mg
  • Vitamin B2 – 1.3 mg
  • Vitamin B6 – 1.6 mg
  • Vitamin B12 – 2 mcg
  • Folic acid – 0.2 mg

IBCE box n bottle

I’m still in the process of learning to listen to my body more and ideally, I’d also like to take a break and go hibernate for a week straight but with the kids all growing up so quickly, I guess that will have to wait. Although the truth is that parenting doesn’t get any easier as the kids get older and it’s important to remember that we need to make time to take care of ourselves along the way. Being a good parent becomes easier once we start looking after our own physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.

It’s a good thing I have BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken for my daily boost to ensure that I am always bringing my A-game.

brands

Stand a chance to win over $15,000 worth of Banyan Tree Resort & Spa packages and BRAND’S® hampers with a minimum of $25 worth of BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken products purchased.

SMS your entry to 90102322 in the following format: BRANDS <space>Name<space> NRIC<space>Receipt No<space>Gender E.g. BRANDS Ben Huang S1231234A 345678 M

//Ok, more great news – The team over at BRAND’S® has been really nice to come in with gifts for you guys! (:

Giveaway Time!

3 lucky winners will stand a chance to win a set of BRAND’S® products containing: 1 Pack of 6 BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken and 1 Bottle of BRAND’S® Essence of Chicken with Vitamin B complex+ Iron (60 Tablets) (worth $48.45). There are a total of 3 sets to be given away!

To Participate:

  1. Be a fan of both my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/motherinc.org) and BRAND’S® SG Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/BrandsSG)
  2. Like and share this blog post on your Facebook wall with the comment: “BRAND’S® #Listentomybody Giveaway!” and remember to tag my Facebook page so that I can track the participation.

Contest will end 25th October, Saturday 6pm.

Conditions:

  1. All criteria must be fulfilled to be eligible for the giveaway.
  2. Organizer reserves the right to decide the winner.
  3. Prizes cannot be redeemable for cash or exchangeable for other products.
  4. Prizes must be self-collected from Organizer’s office.
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Advertorial

Psst…POSB Baby Bonus Account? Do it now.

October 14, 2014

As a parent in Singapore, the 3 letters I like most are C, D and A. Well, at this point, I also like S, L, E, E, P very much, but I think if I really had to choose, I’d go with CDA for sure.

What’s this CDA I speak of? I’m glad you asked.

If you are a parent who hasn’t heard about the CDA account, it’s time to pay attention, you’re going to want to sign up for it like right now. Because did anyone say free money? Yes, that’s exactly what the CDA gives you.

The CDA, or Child Development Account, is a special awesomesauce savings account for your child. It’s awesomeness lies in the co-matching savings that will be matched dollar-for-dollar by the Government up to the cap of $6,000 each for the first and second child, $12,000 each for the third and fourth child and $18,000 each for the fifth and subsequent child.

So with my 4 kids, I’m eligible for up to $30G’s in Government contribution – that’s a pretty sweet deal. (It’s $30,000 instead of $36,000 because Truett wasn’t eligible for the CDA account when he was born).

With all this money in the CDA account, what can it be used for?

The short answer is pretty much all their medical and educational expenses, which can add up to be pretty astronomical.

For a more detailed answer, the savings in the CDA may be used to pay approved expenses for all your children at Approved Institutions registered with the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) under the Baby Bonus Scheme. These include child care centres licensed by MSF, kindergartens and special education schools registered with the Ministry of Education (MOE), and healthcare institutions licensed under the Private Hospitals and Medical Clinics (PHMC) Act. It can even be used to purchase MediShield or Medisave-approved private integrated plans for all your children.

Trust me, you NEED this.

For our family, it’s been a massive financial boost to help with the costs of raising kids in Singapore. We use it to pay for the their school fees and medical bills like vaccinations and doctor’s visits. Sometimes, looking at the cost of sending 4 kids to preschool makes me panic a little (or A LOT!) but with the co-matching savings from the CDA account, we’re effectively paying for only half the costs, which is like just sending 2 kids to preschool. Okay, still panic territory but much more manageable.

We were previously with OCBC’s CDA account but I recently heard some fab news: POSB has just been appointed as a Baby Bonus Bank and is launching an attractive offer of a 6-month Early Bird Bonus Interest of 1% p.a. on top of the POSB CDA Interest Rate.

I immediately registered for a switch over to POSB’s CDA account for all my kids because extra money on top of my free money? Why, yes please! That’s a no brainer. Besides, there’s also the convenience of banking with POSB. I used to have to hike to the nearest OCBC ATM machine 15 minutes away if I needed to make any transactions but with POSB, it’ll be so much easier to check balances and make deposits from my personal POSB savings account online.

If you’re an existing CDA Holder with other banks, switching to POSB can be easily done by registering here.

*Finally, from now till 31 October, you can also stand to win S$5,000, credited into your child’s CDA account simply by submitting a cute photo of your child with an interesting caption and #POSBBabyBonus on POSB’s Facebook page.

tell me more

Register now at www.posb.com.sg/cda and submit your photos to www.facebook.com/posb.

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Finn

Greatest hits by Finn

October 13, 2014

I thought I’d get a head start on toilet training Finn, and they say the best way to learn is to watch someone else do it right, so I got Truett to perform a little demonstration.

Me: Hey Finn, who wants to learn to go pee like a big boy?

Finn: (points at his chest) Me, me, me!

Me: Kor kor will do a demo for you, just watch and learn. Ok, Tru, can you show your brother how this is done?

*Truett delivers a smashing demo of how to pee into the toilet bowl*

Finn: (giggles his head off) HAHAHAHAHHAHA PEE…PEE HAHAHA PEE…PEE HAHAHHA PEE…PENIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (grabs his face and continues laughing)

Me: Okay, this is not working out very well, let’s table this for another time, great job everyone!

***

So this little boy of mine hates haircuts with a vengeance. Remember how I was trying to grow out his gorgeous floppy hair when he was a baby? It might have something to do with the fact that no razor touched his head the entire first year of his life and this kid does not realise that haircutting is a very important part of civilised human existence.

Every haircut is a massive 3-man operation. The husband hugs him with a death grip and I have to hold his head in place while the hairdresser lady does her thing; and lo, there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth. His eyes filled with big, sad tears, he’ll give me a look that says “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME MOMMA??? PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP!!!”

I tried to pep talk him before his recent haircut.

Me: It’s time for a haircut, baby. Don’t worry, you’ll be ok, it doesn’t hurt.

Finn:(frowny face) NO NO HAIR CUT. NO!

Me: But Finn is a brave boy. You can do it!

Finn: (points to my chest) Momma brave boy.

Me: Well, yeah, momma’s quite brave but I need you to be brave too ok?

Finn: (tears starting to form in his eyes) Momma brave boy. Finn Finn handsome boy. No no hair cut.

Me: I’m sorry, son. We need to do this. Daddy will have to hold you and you’ll be just fine. You just try your best?

Finn: (flops his head down on my shoulder, lots of tears streaming down his cheeks by now) Okay momma, okay. (sob, sob, sob)

***

On sharing apples…

Finn: (holds out his half eaten apple) Momma wants apple?

Me: Wow, sure!

Finn: One for Finn Finn, one for momma.

Me: (taking the last bite of apple) Thanks sweetheart!

Finn: Where Finn Finn’s apple?

Me: You just gave it to me so I ate it.

Finn: No more apple? Momma get ice-cream.

Me: WHAT?!! A tiny bite of apple in exchange for ice-cream? GAHH Total rookie mistake! I should have seen this coming but well played.

***

He’s got the sweetest, most heartfelt apology I’ve ever heard, which is probably why he gets so few time-outs. He flashes me those bambi eyes, does the sorry sign with his little fist and says “Sorry, momma, I’m sorry.”

Look at those eyes!!?? Okay, all is forgiven.

bambi eyes

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not feeling so supermom

Taking a slow day

October 9, 2014

It’s been a merry-go-round of flu viruses around here lately. Everyone’s been down, well, except Theo, who seems to have developed the body resistance of a little baby Hulk (a cute one!) and is soldiering on with large doses of my super immunity breastmilk. He was chain-sneezing a little bit for a day or two but then he turned the corner and seems stronger than ever. Yay for breastmilk.

Everyone else, though, has taken turns falling ill. Like hey, who wants a ride on the carousel of sniffles? Step on up! It’s tons of no fun and you’ll get off stricken with drippy noses and chesty coughs. I guess that’s what happens when there are 4 little humans in one house. I need a force field against viruses, urgh.

I’ve been trying to fight this off for days but CODE RED! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! this fortress has finally been breached. My limbs feel like lead and I’m all sorts of woozy so you probably shouldn’t take what I’m writing too seriously. Also, I’ve taken to spending my time curled up in bed with my sweet little chubby baby, going on marathon nursing sessions. I figured I’d give baby Theo as much antibodies as possible, plus it makes him sleepy, plus it’ll also make him fat and juicy in the process, plus I get to stay in bed all day. WIN to the power of four.

Sometimes, it’s hard to slow down when we’re so used to going at full speed all the time. I feel like I need to have a legit reason to hole in, y’know? It has to take something like a bout of overpowering illness to make us stop. In a weird way, it’s been good for us. This body could do with a reset.

And I realise how badly I’ve needed this. A slow day in bed with my sleepy baby just nursing and dozing off, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat and his contented baby sighs while the big kids are off spending the day with my in-laws.

theo

Mandatory slow days are nice once in a while but here’s hoping we all get past this real soon.

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Truett

Preschool – Nailed it.

October 7, 2014

tru graduation

4 years ago, Truett went to preschool for the first time. He stood at the door with a look that can only be described as absolute terror, with tears streaming down his sad baby face as I kissed him goodbye. That first day of school didn’t go very well at all.

Right up to that point, I was there for him every minute of every day. We were a team and we did everything together. I was there for his first step, his first words, the first time he fell and scraped his knee. Our world was all about playgrounds, mid-morning grocery runs, snuggles in bed, books at nap time, walks in the park, and I was there for all of it.

It took us both some time to adjust to a life with preschool in the picture. I was sad too because I felt like I was sending him off on a grand adventure that I couldn’t be a part of.

Everyday, I would tell him I missed him and ask about his day. How fun was school today? Missed mommy? Did you make new friends? What was your favourite moment of the day? He’d reply with a “ok, yes, yes, nothing.” Sometimes, he’d say, “I had fun.”

At first, the teachers told us he was painfully shy and a bit of a loner. His best friend was the only other quiet boy in class and their idea of being best friends was playing with toys alone within the vicinity of each other. They would sit near each other and hang out alone.

Over the past 4 years, he’s become this sweet, self-assured little man. When I picked him up from school last week, his friends yelled “BYE TRUETT!!” and he yelled bye right back with ease and confidence, giving one of them a bro hug before running off with his backpack. After school these days, he’d tell me about funny conversations he had with his friends, the crazy stuff they did and all the fun he had, and I’d listen with so much pride because I was listening to a boy who just 4 years ago, would hide in corners and close his eyes so others couldn’t see him.

In a few months, he’ll be graduating from preschool and heading off for new adventures in Primary 1. I couldn’t be happier for him.

I told him he’s grown to be a really fine young man and he said “I’m a young gentleman, mom!”

Yes. Yes, you are.

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