Ok, resolution time! I was thinking that this year, instead of spending time doing up a list of generic, loosely worded phrases disguised as resolutions I may or may not (mostly may not) actually keep, I’m going to change things up a bit and go with a theme for the upcoming year. An thought I’d like to keep close to my heart and remind myself of throughout the course of the year.
This year, I’m choosing to walk on the bright side.
We all want to be happy and we hope for the year to be smooth-sailing and filled with unicorns and all sorts of happy things but we know that rarely happens. 6 days into the new year and we wake up to a gloomy, rainy morning filled with sniffly kids, squelchy rain puddles and awful traffic. And then there’ll be reason after reason to bring on a sad face, an angry face, a miserable face, an annoyed face, a post natal depression face, a down in the dumps face, a why-is-my-life-such-a-crapstorm face. Ah yes, there’ll be lots of those reasons throughout the year.
For most of my life, I think I’ve tried to look at the bright side, to choose happiness and love and thankfulness. I know I’m not entitled to be happy, just like I’m not entitled to only have good things happen to me every minute of every day. I have to choose it and fight for it in the face of all the monkey wrenches thrown my way. I know that when bad things happen, I can’t let myself drown and forget to be happy. Yes, ok, I forget all the time because sometimes it’s far more cathartic to wallow and feel all slumpy but the important thing is to find a way to snap out of it, put on those boxing gloves and get right back into the ring.
Life is filled with things I can’t control and it used to get me, how helpless I felt when all my beautiful plans got all messed up and I want to rage and yell “THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! IT WAS ALL DIFFERENT WHEN I PLANNED IT IN MY HEAD!”
But then there’s stuff I can control – my heart and my spirit, and the steadfast knowledge that God is good to me, all the time, even when I can’t see it. No, actually I can. I just have to look at all the wonderful things I have in my life and not let them get overshadowed by the occasionally sucky ones.
So this year, I’m choosing not just to glance at the bright side once in a while, but to walk in it. I’ll be responsible for my own happiness level. I’m spending my time loving on my fine specimen of a husband, I’m getting in all the kisses I can on our almost 4 babies and I’m going to fight to fill this little house of ours with all the love and laughter it can possibly contain.
