Yearly Archives

2014

pregnancy

The benchmark for fatness

June 18, 2014

Is it just me or do pregnant people typically get a bit touchy about their weight during their last trimester? As it is, I’m majorly bummed about having to lumber around like a hippopotamus with a watermelon for a stomach, so talking about it isn’t like my favourite thing to do.

During my last visit to the gynae a week ago, the first thing my friendly doctor said to me was: “Mmm… putting on the weight a bit too quickly huh, I think we need to scale it back for the next few weeks.” Admittedly, I might have eaten a few too many slices of bacon in Melbourne but in my defence, that was delicious free range bacon that baby Theo enjoyed thoroughly.

In my defence Part Deux, I also played some ball at a street court to compensate for all that bacon. Clearly, it wasn’t very effective.

Screen Shot 2014-06-18 at 4.54.18 pm

On a sort of related note, this reminds me of a conversation I had with the kids that also didn’t hurt my feelings at all.

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Kirsten: Kor kor, did you know that El Macho is SUPER FAT! Even fatter than mommy, you know!

Tru: Hahahahah, I know! Mommy is only this fat (gestures to his imaginary belly with his hand) and El Macho is THIS FAT (gestures to an even bigger belly).

Me: Oi! Who is this El Macho and why have I become the benchmark for fatness? I hope there’s a compliment in here somewhere, guys.

Tru: El Macho is the bad guy from Despicable Me 2. He’s really fat and you are only a little bit fat, that’s why.

Me: <Sighhhhh>

Kirsten: Is it because sometimes you eat instead of facing your problems?

Me: WHUTTTT??

Kirsten: Mr. Gru said it. In Despicable Me.

Me: NO! Maybe. Sometimes a little bit. And sometimes I eat because it’s delicious. Plus I’m pregnant. Also, I think we need to stop watching that show.

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the husband

About dads

June 16, 2014

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I’ll admit it. When I was 19 and in the game, high on my list of qualities to look for a in a guy was the dad factor – whether he’d be a good dad. See, I knew back then that I’d be having a whole brood of kids, I’m weird that way.

When I met the husband, I knew he’d be a great father. I just didn’t know he’d be this good.

So usually in the first year of a baby’s life, mothers usually have the upper hand because we’re a natural at this. We do the feeding, bathing, cuddling and soothing just a little better. I’m thankful that the husband was a pro at all of it, but I remember thinking that if there was ever a contest of being generally more awesome with babies, I’d crush him every time.

But as the kids grew bigger, it became clear that the husband was levelling the parenting playing field. He’d found his niche and he was killing it.

Like no matter how hard I try, daddy’s approval and validation means so much more. Why is that? I often tell the kids they’ve done a great job and I’m really proud of them and they’re like “yeah, ok, I know, mom.” But when the husband does it, they beam and beam like they’ve just won an olympic gold medal.

Daddy’s also the super fun one. He usually does the crazy games with the kids and when he’s working late, I try to do my own version with them. Apparently, my fun level is vastly inferior. One time, we were halfway through a game and Truett said, “I think we can go to sleep now, we’ll play with daddy tomorrow, it’s more fun.” Welllll…ok then.

Daddy’s the fixer, the smart one, the hugger, the anchor, the bringer of fun, the cool one, the designated driver, the atm and storyteller, basically everything that’s awesome to a kid.

And momma’s gotta bring back her A-game.

Okay, I kid about the competition, it’s all very friendly. I’m glad the husband is a wonderful father because we’re in this together and there’s no one else I’d want in my corner.

daddy 2

Happy Father’s Day, sweetheart.

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pregnancy

Let’s talk about labour

June 13, 2014

I know I’m supposed to but I haven’t spent any time thinking about my birth plan yet. Partly because thinking about it makes it more real and the thought of going into labor again is terrifying. The labor hurts, the epidural needle hurts, the pethidine hurts, the IV hurts and the cervic check makes me want to hulk smash something. Yes, I’m a big baby even after 3 deliveries.

I had a bit of a scare last night with some pretty bad crampish pain so I guess it is time to start thinking about it.

Here’s the general idea of how it’s gonna go down: Contractions -> Get to the hospital -> PUSH, C’MON PUUUUSH!! -> Baby -> YAYYY -> The end.

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If you want deets, I’ve readjusted some parts of Finn’s birth plan and this round is going to be quite different. Read on only if you’re ready for some TMI.

Epidural: YES. 

I attempted going meds free with Finn and chickened out almost immediately once the contractions started coming in hard and fast, which is when I realised that I’m an epidural kind of girl and that’s ok.

Mobility: Not much. 

It’s my third VBAC and there are the usual risks of wound rupture so I’ll have to be hooked on to the CTG machine once I get in. Ain’t gonna be much walking around once the party starts.

Episiotomy: Not entirely keen but likely.

Both Kirsten and Finn got a little bit stuck on the way out and the gynae recommended one to minimise the pressure on the C-section wound. If it has to happen, I’ll take one for the team, is all I’m saying.

Video Footage: HELL NO. 

No, just no.

Backup plan: Emergency C-Section. 

I hope it doesn’t come down to this but if there are any complications, immediately abort mission and go for a C-section.

Post delivery: Boob time and lots of cuddles.

I finally nailed the breastfeeding with Finn so it’ll also be full breastfeeding fresh from the boobs with baby Theo. With any luck, it’ll be a piece of cake.

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side effects of motherhood

What’s been up around here lately

June 11, 2014

Finn was due for his vaccination last week and being the overachieving mom that I am, we decided to give him 2 jabs at once, one on each butt cheek.

It wasn’t actually planned though. My little champ took the first one like a pro and didn’t even flinch so we were like, “hey that was easy, let’s go for two!” But then the second jab went in and he got really upset and screamy. He probably thought “I took it like a man and all I got for it was…A SECOND NEEDLE IN MY BOTTOM. THIS WILL NOT STAND!!”

I guess I would have done the same thing if I were him, because clearly taking jabs without protesting isn’t working out so well. I don’t think it hurt that bad but it’s a protest on principle, just to make it clear that multiple jabs on one day aren’t acceptable.

Message received loud and clear.

The next day, he promptly fell ill, coupled with an outbreak of rashes and general grouchiness overall. Poor baby. It’s apparently a side effect that happens to a handful of kids after the MMR vaccination. So he’s been in a foul mood the past couple of days, refusing to eat or drink his milk, waking up to cry multiple times a night. Poor me. I haven’t had to carry a screaming toddler to pace the room in the middle of the night for a while now, and I’ve forgotten how exhausting that is, especially with this ginormous belly in the way.

We were hanging out in bed singing the ABC song for the 28th time last night when he stopped, put his head on my tummy and said “love momma”.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the first time he’s ever told me he loves me.

And there’s something special about that first “I love you”; it’s the kind of moment that makes you giddy, the kind you want to drink in and wrap up to put in a little jar in your pocket so you can relive over and over again.

I tried my luck and asked him to say it again but he’s a one and done sort of guy so that was it. Next thing I knew, he sat up and yelled “POCOYO PARTY, LET’S GO!!”

Moment over, but that was enough for me. A mom’s gotta take what a mom gets.

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Kidspeak

500.

June 9, 2014

Tru

Truett: Mom, do you know when I grow up, I’m going to have 500 babies?

Me: I certainly did not know that. 500??! Seriously?

Truett: Yes, ALL BOYS.

Me: Hahahahahahahahhahhaha. Good luck finding a wife who will agree to that.

Truett: How about 50?

Me: I’m guessing no. Why do you want so many boy babies anyway? World domination?

Truett: Because I love babies so much, they’re so fun! And boys are super awesome.

Me: Um…yeah, but 50? That’s waaaayyyyyy too many.

Truett: Ok, 5.

Me: I guess 5 sounds doable but this is a conversation you’re going to have with your wife sometime in the future.

Truett: I think you should also have 5 babies, we only have 4 now. We just need one more.

Me: <This is where I spent a full minute laughing> Sounds tempting…but you go for 5. I’m gonna have to say no.

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kids in motion

What Is This Ridiculous Baby Doing

June 6, 2014

Being stuck at home on a rainy Friday afternoon can get boring…unless you have a hyperactive baby brother in the house. In which case you can make up a super fun game called “What Is This Ridiculous Baby Doing?”

*For the record, it was Truett who came up with the name.

They followed him around the house, egging him on to do ridiculous things, and then took pictures of him with my phone. Baby Finn, obviously thrilled with the attention, went all out to oblige.

1. Prison break.

prison break

2. Dances with dogs.

dog whispering

3. Dangerous climbing stunts.

stunts

4. More dangerous climbing stunts.

more stunts

5. Passing the parcel.

passing the parcel-2

*Photos by Truett & Kirsten.

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pregnancy

Week 32, it’s starting to get real

June 4, 2014

In the scheme of pregnancy updates, 32 weeks is when it starts to get real. Like super real.

At this point in the pregnancy, I have this constant awareness that the baby is there all the time, mostly because he’s been making his presence very acutely felt.

I like feeling the baby move – it’s one of my favourite things about being pregnant. But the past couple of weeks, he’s been kicking really hard in every organ possible. I’m getting kicked in internal body parts I didn’t even know existed. And having someone kungfu kick you in the kidney from the inside of your uterus, that’s a special kind of um, discomfort. The other day, I was in a meeting and I might have involuntarily peed in my pants a little because the little guy jabbed me in the bladder.

Also, I was really hoping that Theo would be the mild and docile sort but the last kid that kicked me this hard was Finn and look how crazy he turned out. Boys!

With the baby on my brain this much, I guess it’s also inevitable that the nesting instincts are in full swing. The husband says I’m going into my bird mode again. I’m not sure if it’s a compliment seeing how much I hate birds but I take it that he’s referring to cute birds like penguins. Penguins are the only birds I don’t mind plus they make very efficient nests. Using rocks. That’s pretty much my nesting philosophy these days for a fourth baby. I used to spend all this time looking for the softest, most beautiful cot but it’s already the fourth time I’m doing this so by now, I’m all like “here, this pile of rocks will do just fine.” Kidding. I have a perfectly good cot for the baby.

Most of all, at 32 weeks, I’m restless. All I can think about is how much I want to give birth already. I’m torn between days of “baby needs to hang in there for 8 more weeks so he gets nice and fat” and “I NEED TO GET THIS BABY OUT OF HERE NOW”.

You know what? I’m just going to enjoy the next 8 weeks as much as anyone can enjoy the final weeks of pregnancy.

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