Yearly Archives

2012

side effects of motherhood

Motherhood – the gift that doesn’t stop giving

March 13, 2012

You know how people always say that motherhood is a gift? Nay, not just a gift, but a great, big, giant hamper of tiny little gifts just waiting to pop out and yell “SURPRISE” just when you least expect it.

The longer I’ve been a mom, the more I find this to be true. Except that some of these gifts I welcome with open arms but then there are those that I’d much rather not have, thankyouverymuch. It’s like Motherhood is this mean old woman who’s handing over a shiny box filled with worms and I’m like “um thanks, but I’ll pass” and she’s all “no, take it” and I’ll be all “no, seriously, there’s really no need, I’m good” and she shoves it into my hands with a snarly “I SAID TAKE IT” and then disappears.

Sort of like that, but worse because I’d take worms over these presents any day. Ok just to illustrate my point, here are some of them.

1. Broken Bladder. 

Oh, yes. Ever wonder why some women stop dead in their tracks when they have to sneeze? Because after you have a baby, it’s physically impossible to walk and sneeze at the same time without peeing your pants a little. Or a lot. Whenever I feel a sneeze coming on, I have to casually find a nice spot to sit for a minute or so until I’m done.

2. Lopsided Boobs

These were my boobs before I had kids.

These are my boobs now.

Nuff’ said.

3. Stretch Marks.

If you’ve ever attempted to put concealer on your stomach area in an effort to reduce the visible signs of stretch marks while wearing your bikini, bring it on in for a hi-5. No? Just me then.

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not feeling so supermom

UPDATED: Just another manic Monday

March 12, 2012

Is it Monday already? Truett was admitted to the hospital for breathing difficulties on Saturday evening and it has all been a blur since then. As it usually is when your child is hospitalized – everything else gets put on hold until they get better.

He told us he was feeling “quite sick” on Friday morning, which was accompanied by fake cough and a mild temperature. It seemed like one of those illnesses I used to conjure to get out of school but that he managed to give himself a slight fever was quite impressive so I kept him at home the entire day. It was apparent that he inherited my talent for faking illnesses. Back when we did have those fancy head thermometers, I used to drink a glass of hot water and stuff a hot water bottle under my armpits to raise my body temperature. It almost always worked.

Anyhow, not going to school seemed to cure his little malady and he was perfectly fine and spritely for the rest of the day.

Saturday morning, he woke up looking really sick. The fake cough got decidedly nasty and he was curled up on the floor looking miserable. For him to do that on a Saturday morning meant he had to be feeling really ill.

He got progressively worse throughout the day and by evening, his breath was labored and he was making very alarming whistling sounds with his breath.

At 9pm, we decided to bring him into the Children’s A&E just in case. He was whisked into the treatment room for oxygen and several rounds of the inhaler thing before he finally got warded at 2am.

After lots of oxygen some steroid meds and many puffs of the inhaler, he’s looking better. The good thing is that it’s a virus and not chronic asthma, which means that this shouldn’t happen too frequently, or ever again.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Hopefully he’ll be able to come home today.

UPDATE: Tru is back home and recovering nicely. Still has to be supervised for the next couple of days but he’s doing much better. He’s running around without wheezing or gasping for air, which is a good sign. :)

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coolest kids ever

Hopefully this will be the last one

March 8, 2012

So just when you think that I couldn’t possibly write another post about sleep training, why yes, there’s another one of those babies coming right up. I know you’re probably like “Seriously woman, how difficult can sleep training be? Just make them sleep in their own room and be done with it already. My kids have been sleep-trained since they were 4-weeks old.”

Except that I’ve never been very successful at making the kids do anything at all. Unless those things are like watching TV and eating ice-cream, I have like a 37% success rate at making them do what I say.

But then out of the blue, it just happened. For the past 3 nights, they went to bed in their room at 9 and the next time I saw them was at 7 in the morning. I couldn’t be sure if it was a case of them being too exhausted to even stir the whole night or that they were able to fall back asleep even after waking up in the middle of the night. I suspected it was the first one, but at least there was HOPE.

Fast forward to last night. My room door creaked open at 3.40 am, and I could sense the presence of a little person standing at the doorway. My head was all “OH NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Not tonight, you don’t.”

You see, when the sleep training began, I knew it was going to be rough so I stored up on my sleep by going to bed the same time they did. That way, I’d still be able to clock a good 6 hours before they crashed my slumber party at 3-ish. But after 3 nights of non-disturbed sleep in a row, I decided to spend that extra sleeping time watching Cougar Town last night. Which I did till almost 2 in the morning.

So when Kirsten shuffled her way in last night, I felt totally cheated.

“I just want to hug you one time,” she said. “I cannot sleep in mommy’s room right? I sleep in my own room kor kor will protect me.” With that, she turned and went back to her room.

I waited for another 10 minutes and the silence that ensued was the sweet, sweet sound of a GLORIOUS VICTORY.

This morning, I told her I was so proud of her for being brave and we did a victory dance together while I made plans to continue my Cougar Town marathon tonight.

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getting ready for baby, Kidspeak

Umbilical cords and other stuff

March 6, 2012

Truett has been asking questions about the pregnancy and the new baby so I spent the afternoon reading a pregnancy picture book with him. By that, I mean a book with pictures about the developing baby in utero.

He was completely fascinated with the entire process, like he couldn’t believe that’s where he came from. All he knew about pregnancy was that there’s a baby in the general region of my stomach (but he probably thought I ate the baby or something) and that it would eventually come out from the general region of my bottom.

He now understands the basics of how pregnancy works, so here’s Tru’s version of pregnancy and babies.

On the magical powers of the umbilical cord

Tru: The baby will eat food from the umbical cord?

Me: Yeap, whatever mommy eats will go to the baby via the umbilical cord.

Tru: And baby will drink milk with the mouth?

Me: No, baby doesn’t need to drink milk at the moment.

Tru: Then why does baby need a mouth when got umbical cord?

Me: You’re right, baby doesn’t technically need the mouth for now but when the baby is born, the umbilical cord will be cut off and that’s when they will start to drink milk.

Tru: *looks horrified* You are going to cut the baby’s umbical cord? Baby will be in pain and cry.

Me: Don’t worry, it’s like cutting hair, doesn’t hurt at all.

On the water in the womb (and more magical powers of the umbilical cord)

Tru: Mommy’s womb got a lot of water for baby to swim right?

Me: Right. The baby will be swimming in the water for 9 months.

Tru: Does baby have floats? What if baby drowns?

Me: Baby can breathe in the water because oxygen gets passed through the umbilical cord.

Tru: I want to have umbical cord too so I can breathe in the water when I go swimming.

On baby crying

Tru: How come baby doesn’t cry? Is it the umbical cord?

Me: Haha no. Because baby is in the water so it’s hard to cry when you’re underwater. Or it could be something about the vocal cord development. Either one.

Tru: Why baby got so many cords?

Me: Uh, I really don’t have an answer for that. Anyway, aren’t you glad the baby can’t cry now? There’ll be a lot of crying when the baby comes out.

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unqualified parenting tips

Parents ain’t perfect.

March 5, 2012

Parents are far from being perfect but I’d like to think that being a parent has made me a better person than I would have been if I didn’t have kids, because having kids somehow makes you want to be better.

Not so much that I’m afraid I’d be caught for misbehaving or doing something bad because as The Mom, I’m the boss of everybody else around here.

No, it’s more than that. It’s because I want them to be better than me and the only way that’s going to happen is if I become the best version of me I can be.

And although I’m sure there’s a level 97 Grand Master version of me that always takes the high road and doesn’t rain terrible curses on bad drivers, that version will not be making an appearance anytime soon so for now, I’m content to occasionally take the high road (like only when I know the kids are watching).

Which is already a marked improvement from the pre-kid version of me who has always taken the road that is considerably lower. I’ve always had little time or patience for people whom I felt deserved what they got. Back in the day, I would have made a fully audible, thinly-veiled criticism of the parents of the brattish kids who were disturbing my dinner. Or tsk-tsked the mom whose 2-year-old was melting into the floor dramatically in public. Or looked at the mom struggling with 3 kids and wondered why she wasn’t introduced to the concept of contraceptives.

Now if there’s one thing being a parent has taught me, it’s how to eat a stinking piece of poop-filled humble pie.

Before I had kids, I thought it was all a piece of cake. I would kick ass at being a mom and show them all how it’s done. My kids wouldn’t be caught dead throwing a tantrum or turning up their noses at food. They would be perfect specimens of little angels who smiled, ate their vegetables and did as they were told.

As it turns out, the moment the kids came into my life, there has been no cake and all I’ve been eating is humble pie. And most of my words.

These days, I’ve learnt to be a lot more understanding and less judgey. I see a mom who’s shoving food into her mouth as her kids sit engrossed watching youtube on the iPhone and I stop myself from passing judgement on what an irresponsible, disinterested mom she is. She might have very well spent the last 12 hours running herself ragged being fully engaged in her kids’ mental, emotional and physical development and all the poor woman is asking for is 10 minutes to eat in peace without being judged by random strangers. So I smile, give her a mental hi-5, gather my kids and get a move on.

I see another mom losing her shit at her kid and I remember how I’ve lost count of the number of times I went ballistic on the kids after a particularly bad day. After each episode, I beat myself up over it enough to not need other parents telling me how I messed up.

When I think of all the things I want to teach the kids as they grow, like how to solve differential equations, and the intricacies of foreign policy, and the works of literary geniuses, there is none more important than the crucial life lesson on how not to be a douche canoe.

And that means that I’ve got to not be one myself.

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Kidspeak, the breast things in life are free

Monsteriffic

March 2, 2012

Tru: Mommy, mommy, look at my monster puppet.

Me: You mean frog right, and isn’t it like a bath scrubber?

Tru: No, it’s a monster.

Me: Well, see, it’s green, and frogs are green.

Tru: Monsters can be green too.

Me: Ok, fair enough. But it’s got big froggy eyes.

Tru: The eyes are very small, the monster is closing his eyes.

Me: What? Are you sure you know what eyes are. Ok, where are the eyes?

Tru: *points to the little slits at the center*

Me: Then what are these? *points to the round things at the top corners*

Tru: That’s the ears. The monster has funny ears. And monsters have a tail, frogs have no tail.

Me: By golly, you’re right! The frog is a monster!

Tru: It’s not a frog monster. Just monster.

Me: Ok fine, you can call it a monster, I’ll call it a frog.

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a spot of singapore

Feelin’ a little Festive

March 1, 2012

So we were at Resorts World’s Festive Hotel for the last 2 days thanks to my mom and my sis who’s back in Singapore for 2 weeks. She wanted to spend some time with the kids and bring them to Universal Studios before she heads back to Melbourne tonight.

While we were driving down to check in on Tuesday, Truett turned to me and said “It’s an AWESOME day today, mommy!”

The boy’s got enthusiasm – I like.

He was right too, because the room was nice and the pool area was even nicer. There was a kid’s play area, a decently-sized pool and a row of gazebos with cushioned sofas for the non-swimming, pregnant people like me to sit and surf the net while the kids went crazy. And for 2 days, their diet consisted of 80% potato chips and 15% sodas and 5% actual food.

We spent the day at Universal Studios yesterday but it was sort of a bummer because it started to pour just as we got to the Shrek World. We took shelter at one of the food places hoping the rain would stop but it didn’t so we did the next best thing and got ponchos.

Here’s one with all the girls suited up. Yes, I am aware of how ridiculous it looks, but we were dry and happy.

Unfortunately, the husband came down with a massive food poisoning and he spent the day curled up and groaning at one of the tables at Jurassic Park while Tru went for the big boy rides with my sister.

Kirsten, who’s too short for anything other than the baby rides, made me go on the carousel 10 times. Which is not an exaggeration because I counted and by the tenth round, I was ready to fall out of my giraffe from boredom. She refused to admit it but I think she was bored too because towards the end, this was how she looked.

We didn’t manage to see any mascots except for this um, I honestly don’t know what to call it. The costume was bizarre but it was at least colorful, I guess, so points for that.

All in all, Tru was right, it was an awesome time.

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