Monthly Archives

September 2012

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Supermarket Sweep

September 28, 2012

I do a lot of online shopping, which is exactly like actual shopping except less tiring and I can do it with one finger.

Especially since so much of my time is now taken up by breastfeeding and expressing milk, I multitask by getting some retail therapy in the process. Every feeding session, I spend like the first 3 minutes making googly eyes at Finn and when he goes all milk comatose on me, I spend the next 25 minutes using my spare hand to do a bit of shopping.

I typically shop for kids’ stuff, adult stuff (no, not that kind of adult stuff), home stuff – basically everything from bags to book to bra extender hooks (yes, it’s a thing). Well, everything except for groceries because there just isn’t an online grocery store that’s compelling enough.

Until now, at least.

I just made my first purchase at RedMart and I’m really quite pleased with how convenient and fuss-free it is. Which makes me wonder why I haven’t been doing this sooner. The range is extensive (with over 4,000 items in stock) and all the items are conveniently categorized for easy browsing. I like how clean the interface is, so all I need to do is add to cart –> checkout –> pay and I’m done with several clicks.

And making payment doesn’t get any more convenient. You can pay via credit card or PayPal on site or by cash, cheque or credit card swipe upon delivery. That pretty much covers all the possible payment options, maybe except barter trade, which people don’t do much of these days. They should though. I’d be all “good sir, I’ll offer 2 chickens in exchange for a bottle of that fine dishwashing liquid and that pack of gum.”

How about the prices, you ask? It’s very competitive and I know because I take my bargain hunting very seriously. I’ve got auntie superpowers when it comes to grocery shopping – I cross check all the prices and make the husband detour to a different supermarket because the toilet paper is $0.75 cheaper. There’s even a RedDealz section with all the latest promotions, which is where I recommend you start your browsing. You’re welcome.

So after you’re done shopping, you can arrange to have everything delivered to your doorstep within the same day (if you order before 10am). Delivery is free with a minimum spend of $75 and when you have a house full of hungry kids, hitting $75 on groceries is easy peasy. Free shipping means I no longer have to struggle with bags of groceries while herding the kids like a crazy person. Just click and everything appears at my house like magic.

I could totally get used to this.

Alright, since we haven’t had a giveaway for a while, let’s have a good one. There’s a $75 credit (free shipping, yay!) at RedMart up for grabs and all you need to do is list down the 3 items you’d definitely get from the store.

Here’s mine:

Leave a comment with your answer below and a winner will be randomly selected. Remember to fill in your email address so I can contact you. Contest closes on 5 October (Friday) 2359hrs. *Open to Singapore residents only.

And because we are all winners, everyone gets 10% off your entire purchase at RedMart (first time orders, not applicable to baby formula). Just key in the code  “motherinc” upon checkout to enjoy the discount.

Happy shopping!

*UPDATED: Congrats to Jaslyn, winner of the $75 Redmart store credit. An email is heading your way, do get back to me with your details to claim your prize. And thanks to everyone for joining the contest. Till next time!

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seriously somewhat serious

Not quite so warm and fuzzy

September 27, 2012

Today’s post is totally serious and a little long so you’re welcome to come back tomorrow instead for something fun. Tomorrow’s post will be fun. 

***

I often hear about women describe their breastfeeding experience as a fulfilling and enjoyable one. They talk about how much they love the bonding session and how warm and fuzzy it makes them feel.

I’ve never had that.

For me, breastfeeding feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole after getting punched in the gut.

Initially, I thought it was post natal depression but I started to realize that this terrible feeling of dread only came whenever I was breastfeeding. And after some research, I found out that it’s a condition called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER).

It’s basically a feeling of dysphoria caused by a drop in dopamine whenever milk is released. For most women, this dopamine drop is barely noticeable but in cases of D-MER, the sudden drop causes a negative emotional reaction that lasts until the dopamine levels re-stabilize. It’s a reflex (like a knee-jerk reaction), which consistently happens every time I experience milk letdown. And because it’s a physiological response instead of a psychological one, it’s not something I can rationalize away by using mind over matter techniques. It just happens.

The good news is that the feeling doesn’t last long. It hits me for about 30 seconds right before each round of Milk Ejection Reflex (MER) and goes away once the milk starts to flow. The not so good news is that I usually get 3-4 rounds of MER per breastfeeding session so that’s about 30 rounds of dysphoria a day.

For quite a while, I had no idea how to deal with this because it’s not a common condition and not many people talk about it. It was like I was the only one who felt inexplicably sad and down while breastfeeding. I thought I was sinking into depression and falling into a deep dark hole I could never get out of.

With Kirsten, I struggled with it a lot. It didn’t help that I was physically, emotionally and mentally stretched to the limit trying to handle a 13-month-old Truett and a newborn on my own.

This time with Finn, knowing exactly what it is helps me to deal. When I feel the familiar sense of dysphoria creeping up on me, I take a deep breath, brace myself and wait for it to be over. Latching on directly also helps because being able to hold baby Finn and run my fingers across his little cheeks somehow makes the depression a little less depressing. Other times, I try to distract myself by watching reruns of Whose Line Is It Anyway on Youtube, surfing the net or listening to happy music.

Occasionally, despite all the mental pep talk, I start breastfeeding and I feel like I’m slipping into the dark and twisty hole again.

On those days, I get help with Finn so I can sleep in for another 3 hours. Or just get out of the house for a cup of bubble tea and a cupcake. Or spend some time snuggling with the bigger kids, laughing and telling bedtime stories.

One way or another, I’m learning to cope.

 

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coolest kids ever

Gunning for a win

September 25, 2012

With two toddlers who are about the same age, there’s a lot of mediating to be done.

You know how toddlers are – what someone else is having always seems to be SO MUCH MORE FUN that whatever they have, and they’re always clamoring for the same items all the time.

We’re not the sort of parents who buy two sets of everything just to stop them from fighting so instead, we have to come up with creative ways to make them share.

One of these ways is what the husband calls the Crossbow Shootout.

It’s pretty straightforward. The kids take turns to knock over a target with the crossbow and the first to reach 3 hits gets first dibs on the desired object. This method has been surprisingly effective and whoever loses will be a good sport, like “sighh ok fine you can have it first.” No tears, no fuss, no shrieks, everybody’s happy. Plus they develop psychomotor skills in the process. #WIN.

At first we thought that Truett, being the more athletic, physically-coordinated one would have the upper hand but as we’ve come to discover, Kirsten has quite a deadly aim. She’s outshot Truett, the husband and me. And no, we didn’t deliberately let her win.

All the girl needs is some crazy red hair and she’ll be Merida from Brave.

We’re going to have to come up with a new challenge to balance the odds.

by
how i pretend to be a cool mum, lists you should paste on your fridge, milestones & musings, unqualified parenting tips

Lessons from a 3rd time mom

September 24, 2012

When I first had Truett, I was as uptight as a new parent could be. My life was a variation of the following scenarios:

“He was supposed to take his nap 3.17 minutes ago, now his schedule is all ruined it’s a disaster!”

“Why is he not drinking his milk, quick call the PD for a consult!!”

“He fell asleep on the baby swing? ANOTHER DISASTER – WAKE HIM UP NOW!!!”

“HE’S BEEN FUSSING FOR AN HOUR IT’S BABYGEDDON SOMEONE ALERT THE MEDIA!!!”

Thanks to all the expert baby books, I had a lot of rules to follow. No rocking to sleep. No falling asleep while drinking milk. No pacifier. I had a strict 3-hour schedule to abide by, right down to the minute.

Then I had a second kid and decided to break some of the rules. Turns out, the world didn’t come to an end and the baby did just fine. I realized that while some of those rules were good, they’re supposed to help make my life easier, not harder. And having my panties all up in a bunch all the time wasn’t making my life easier.

Now with the third kid, I’ve learnt some lessons that I thought I’d share.

1. Every baby is different. 

Some babies sleep more than others. Some babies need more attention. Some babies love being rocked to sleep, some babies hate it. Some babies thrive on having a fixed routine, some are a little more flexible. Which brings me to my next point…

2. Do what works for you and your baby. 

There isn’t just one right way to parent. Be a helicopter parent or an attachment parent or a sleep-training commando parent or a combination of all of the above. If it works for you, don’t let anyone guilt you into feeling otherwise.

3. Sometimes, it’s ok to break the rules. 

It’s ok if baby misses a nap or stays awake for an extra 27 minutes. Be a badass and break the rules. Or be a badass and don’t.

4. Enjoy the process. 

It’s hard to enjoy the baby when you’re stressed out and frustrated half the time. Take a break if you can afford the time. Watch your favorite drama, take a long shower, have a cup of coffee – do what makes you happy, even if it’s just for a while.

I used to be so hung up over trying to be the perfect mom that I allowed myself no margin for error. But guess what? This whole parenting process is one of trial and error. And I’m fine with the fact that I’ll never be a perfect mom.

As long as my kids think I’m a rockstar, I’m think I’m ok.

by
breastfeeding, side effects of motherhood

Genie in a bottle

September 21, 2012

I honestly think the first month of a baby’s life is the hardest. For me, that is. The baby is just like “Wheeee, this is fun! I’ve got magical powers that summon big humans just by screaming. I shall now make a scrunchy face to get milk!”

I, on the other hand, get to know what it feels like to be a genie.

No wonder genies are always so sullen all the time. Well, except the one in Disney’s Aladdin. That one is almost annoyingly happy and sings a lot. Then again, everyone’s happy in the Disney universe. Real genies are a lot more sulky, and understandably so.

The first month, there’s the confinement. Even though I’m not fussed about sticking to traditions, the confinement does serve a practical purpose. It’s just so much easier to be at home with the baby where I’ve got all my baby equipment and everything is nice and comfy. On the down side, I’m stuck at home all day in my milk-stained tees and crazy hair and a baby attached to my boob. Not exactly glamorous.

The breastfeeding has improved now that we’ve got a rhythm going. It still hurts though. I was feeding Finn the other day when the husband came into the room and he was like “Why are you twitching?”

“What? No, I’m not.”

“Are you turning into Harry Redknapp? (It’s an Arsenal fan joke – they call him Twitchy)

“My boobs hurt and it’s making my face twitch involuntarily ok happy?”

“I hope it’s not a permanent thing or I’m going to have to call you Twtichy.”

“Just go away.”

I hear the pain goes away after a month or two. Hopefully sooner, so I can stop twitching.

And then there’s the guess-why-I’m-screaming game. With a newborn, you never really know whey they’re crying. You think they’re hungry but after drinking for 5 minutes, they projectile vomit everywhere. It’s like playing Mastermind every time they cry to try and eliminate all the possible reasons. Are they hungry, burpy, poopy, gassy, too cold, too warm, tired, not tired, bored, over-stimulated, under-stimulated…and OMG this list isn’t even exhaustive.

6 more days till he hits the 1-month mark. When we get there, we’re going out to celebrate.

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Kidspeak

Overheard

September 19, 2012

The Bees Knees

Kirsten: PEE-NEES!!

Both kids: Hahahahaha

Tru: PEE-NEES!!

Both kids: Hahahahahahaahah

Me: What’s this game you guys are playing?

Kirsten: We say pee-nees because it’s funny.

Me: I think you mean PEE-NUS? And how is it funny?

Tru: No it’s pee-nees. It’s funny. PEE-NEES!!

Both kids: Hahahahahah

Me: I know it’s sort of near the knees but it’s pee-nus. Unless you mean bees knees.

Kirsten: BEES PEE NEES!

Both kids: Hahahahahahhahahhahahah

Me: Ok, I give up. Carry on.

 

Family

*Door slamming sounds*

Kel: Guys, no slamming the door.

*More door slamming sounds*

Kel: Hey, who was it that slammed the door? Go with me to the naughty corner.

Kirsten: Not me, it’s kor kor.

Tru: Both! We both did it together.

Kirsten: NO, it’s kor…ok fine fine I will go with you to the naughty corner. We are family.

*gives Tru a hug from behind*

Kel: *sighh* You both get a free pass this time but no more slamming doors, understand?

 

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Finn

The sweetest Finn.

September 17, 2012

Having a new baby is very much like getting to know someone for the first time.

Just because a baby came out of your uterus is no guarantee that you’ll hit it off – it still takes time to get to know them, understand their temperament, figure out their preferences and manage their quirks.

I’m not sure if it’s a third kid syndrome, but Finn is by far the easiest, sweetest, most obliging baby I’ve had. Which is not to say that the other two were little terrors, they were just a little more um, demanding. Ok, Truett was quite a feisty, restless baby who didn’t believe in sitting still or playing quietly by himself. He didn’t care much for sleeping either.

So far, Finn has been the complete opposite. He cries only when he’s hungry or in a lot of discomfort and even then, it sounds less like a scream and more like the low hum of a Ferrari’s acceleration.

“Reeooowww”

“Rrrrrreeooowww”

*pause*

“Reeooowww…”

*falls asleep from the exhaustion of like 3 consecutive yells*

When he’s awake, he spends a lot of time looking around quietly. He enjoys hanging around his siblings and doesn’t fuss when they’re a little over-enthusiastic with their affections. Even when he was ill, he’d struggle to breathe on his own for several minutes before screaming.

3 weeks with this kid and he’s already stolen my heart.

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