Monthly Archives

April 2011

stuff best described as not safe for parents

My take on the Singapore General Elections.

I’ve been mulling a long time over whether or not to do a post on the General Elections seeing how politics is such a contentious issue and this is after all a happy family blog.

The truth is, I’ve never been this interested in local politics in all my 28 years and this political awakening (if you can call it that) is a big deal for me. Not that I don’t like politics as a whole because I spent days camped out in front of the TV watching CNN during the last few American Presidential elections and my entire Final Year Thesis was on the topic of American politics. I’ve just never been interested in local politics because it seemed like such a lost cause to me. It was always just a bunch of disgruntled old men yelling at other less disgruntled old men – something I had very little interest or time for.

This time though, I’m excited because not only do we finally have a chance to vote (instead of being told we have no options), we’re also seeing young voters being interested in the voting process. I’ve been reading so many political opinions of late that it didn’t seem right to just sit this one out.

For starters, here’s what I’d really like to see in government.

1. I want a government that knows how to man up and say “I’m sorry” when they’ve made a mistake. For example, a mistake on the scale of busting the YOG budget by 3 times needs to be addressed with a decent amount of compunction rather than dismissiveness. With this current crop of PAP leaders, sorry really does seem to be the hardest word. Hey here’s a thought, people are more forgiving when you take responsibility and say “I’m sorry, I messed up big time.” You see, only after I hear the apology, I’ll be ready to hear about all the wonderful things you’ve done in your 5 years in office, not the other way around.

2. I want a government that really listens. The only defense that the PAP constantly falls back on these days is “I know better so just sit down and shut up.” Even if you genuinely believe that your Cambridge degrees and life of entitlement makes you better and smarter than everyone else, it would still do you a lot of good to listen to the struggles of your people. And by listening, I don’t mean walking around a week before election wearing flowers and doing your presidential wave.

3. I want a government that’s accountable. Ok, that’s my beef with a one-party system right there, a complete lack of checks and balances. It may have worked 57 years ago when you were ruling a country who didn’t know any better but we do know better now and one of the pitfalls of such a system is beginning to manifest itself in the form of disconnected, arrogant leaders who assume they have a right to lead just because they have kissed enough bottoms and made the right political connections. Connections like um say, marrying the private secretary of the Prime Minister.

4. I want a government that rises above the need to resort to threats in order to get votes. It’s insulting that you think our votes can be bought by shiny new lifts and a fresh coat of paint. If the price to pay for upgrading is my integrity and sense of justice, I’d much rather walk up that extra flight of steps and carry both my kids to run in the rain, thankyouverymuch. Also, what about your supporters living in these opposition constituencies? It’s a tad mercenary that you would sacrifice them as collateral damage just to prove a point, isn’t it?

5. I want a government that understands the value of humility and servitude. Often, it’s not just what you do but the manner in which you do it that counts. It bugs me that our Ministers talk down to the very people they are supposed to serve just because they don’t share the same opinions. You don’t get to be all high and mighty and demand that Singaporeans kiss the very ground you tread on. After all, we were the ones who put you in office and we will take you out if you alienate enough voters.

To all the people who think that voting the PAP means voting for stability, my only question is this, stability for who? If I were an incompetent Minster drawing $1.9 million of taxpayer’s money annually, I’d be yelling about stability too. I mean, it’d be mighty unstable for me if I had to one day *gasp*, take a ride on a crowded train like all my minions. And then I’d actually have to walk from point to point because where will I ever find the money to have people carry me around on their shoulders while I wear this ridiculous garland around my neck. I can’t be certain but even if Desmond Choo did momentarily lose the use of both his legs, there’s a whole range of fancy motorized wheelchairs that can serve as perfectly good modes of transportation. There’s really no need to rely on a human sedan these days. Last time I checked, you guys were supposed to BE public servants, not HAVE a lot of public servants.

Now lest you think that I’m dissing all the good work our government has done in years gone by, I’m not. I have a lot of respect for MM Lee, SM Goh, PM Lee (Jr) and a select handful of Ministers. I’ll be the first to say that I’m terribly proud of how far Singapore has come with all that was going against us so props to y’all. On my recent flight back from Florida, I was seated next to an elderly American gentleman who was thrilled to be sitting next to a “tiny Asian girl who didn’t take up too much arm room” (exact words, I promise) and decided to reward my lack of size with a spirited discourse about our Minister Mentor’s awesomeness the moment he heard that I was from Singapore. He went on and on about MM Lee’s political acumen, sharp thinking and fabulous policy-making skills. I have to admit that it was nice to know how much respect people all over the world have for one of us. Finally, he asked me “so what do you think of him?” To which I replied, “I agree with everything that you’ve said and even though we sometimes don’t like him very much, he is the single most respected man in all of Singapore.”

That said, I just have a teensy weensy problem with the argument that just because they’ve had a proven track record, we should blindly cast our vote for all the subsequent leaders that they pick out for the sake of stability. First of all, we all know that past successes don’t necessarily guarantee future success. Second, for all their success in ruling the nation with a tight fist, the leaders in PAP don’t seem to be particularly adept at picking the next generation of leaders. If you’re saying that after scouring the entire list of under-30 Singaporeans and the best you can come up with is a Tin Pei Ling, that tells me all I need to know about your selection skills. I have nothing against Pei Ling as a person and I’m sure she’s every bit as saccharine sweet as her photos suggest but I have a lot against her ability to serve the needs of the people. Underneath the hollow-sounding rhetoric she dishes out, I see no substance or even real desire to better the needs of Singaporeans. It seems to me that the only criteria to be selected as a future leader in the PAP is to be able to memorize and regurgitate the party’s rhetoric (that is starting to sound as empty as a big fat black hole of emptiness).

I’m also not surprised by the popularity of her direct opposition candidate, Nicole Seah. After hearing her various speeches and interviews, I am suitably impressed. Yes, I get that she’s even younger, has no track record or experience, gets a little nervy during some of her speeches and is probably this popular only because of the seeming incompetence of Tin Pei Ling. All fair criticisms, but if if I could vote in that constituency, she would still definitely have my vote for the very fundamental reason that she’s got heart – something that’s sorely missing in our incumbent party. I respect the fact that with all her inexperience and practically zero chance of drawing a $15,000 monthly salary, she was willing to offer her candidacy simply because she wanted to make a change for the benefit of the people. Her agenda is not a fat paycheck but to put right the things that have gone so very wrong in our government. I’d go as far as to say that even if she made it into parliament and doesn’t accomplish all the things she set out to, that’s ok because damnit, she tried.

I’m growing tired of hearing the PAP say that change can only come from within. After 57 years as the ruling party, the most notable change I see is in relation to how their paychecks are getting larger. The only way to show that Ministers don’t have to draw an obscene salary from taxpayer’s money is to have brilliant Ministers who are not in it for the money and yet no less committed or capable than those who demand to have their coffers padded.

This is definitely going to be a watershed election and I’m proud to have candidates like Sylvia Lim (in my opinion, the best public speaker in the local politics scene), Low Thia Khiang and Chen Show Mao offering their services to the nation. For the first time, I feel like there’s a chance we as the people have the power to effect change. Instead of sitting around and complaining that things aren’t right and we can’t do anything about it, we see candidates who are willing to step up to the plate to make a difference. And more importantly, we see voters (especially younger ones) who aren’t ignorant or apathetic.

On this note, I’d like to point out that identifying certain glaring faults in the incumbent party does not make one anti-PAP or pro-opposition. Voters are a lot more discerning these days and just because they question some facets of your leadership does not make them the enemy. The bottom line is that I vote for progress and if that comes in the form of non-PAP politicians, that gets my vote. And I can honestly say that if the PAP can indeed bring change from within and address all the issues that have been raised, I’d be happy to be called pro-PAP.

For now though, there are several PAP candidates that don’t deserve a seat in parliament. A lot has been said about the GRC system and for all its merits, it doesn’t seem right that mediocrity is rewarded just because the right alliances are made. To be more precise, it would be a great disservice to Singaporeans if Tin Pei Ling gets a parliamentary seat and Sylvia Lim doesn’t.

In any case, this election is going to be more exciting than an episode of 24.

PS. Also, PAP, just cut it out with the comrades thing. The only people I know who went around calling everyone comrades were perpetrators of genocide. Seriously, just stop it.

Father Inc

Seriously Superdad

Yesterday the kids had their first magazine photo shoot. It’s going to be for an article in an upcoming issue of Young Parents featuring the husband’s special superdad abilities and they wanted a picture of him with the kids. I was just the extra on set fetching gummies for the kids; nobody cares about mommies anymore.

But I jest. I’m happy to be the runner because you know how awkward I am in front of the camera.

I watched baby girl as she was doing her make up and my heart melted into a giant gloopy mush. She sat there absolutely still and looking so awfully proud to be a big girl as the make up artist swirled her brushes and powdered her nose.

She saw me fiddling with the pictures last night and said “aiyo SO PRETTY!” with a shy little smile. This girl has a way with my heart.

Also, if you’re interested, here’s a look at what went on behind the scenes of the photo shoot.

quizzical

Quiz time: Am I stay-home mom material?

Quizzes seem to be all the rage of late so here’s one for all the moms who aren’t sure if they should be taking the plunge into the magical world of stay-home motherhood.

This conundrum has troubled moms ever since the first woman decided to put on her working clothes and infiltrate the working world. Now more than ever, mothers have to decide whether to maximize the degree by going out and earning an income or giving it all up for their little bundles of joy.

Seeing that I have first-hand experience on this particular topic, I’ve developed a very scientific quiz to help you along.

Give yourself 2 points for every time you answer A, 1 point for B and 0 points for C. Here we go.

 

1. Do you enjoy getting yelled at just for fun?

a) Love it!

b) Sometimes, I guess.

c) I have a tendency to send a flying kick to the jaw when I get yelled at.

 

2. Are you good at talking to yourself all day?

a) It’s something I’ve done since childhood with my imaginary friend Pooky.

b) Only if I’ve had enough vodka.

c) I point and laugh at anyone who talks to themselves.

 

3. Describe your poop-cleaning abilities.

a) Legendary – can do it with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back.

b) Decent – good enough to survive.

c) Do I look like I will come within 50 metres of poop in these Louboutins?

 

4. How do you usually tackle a screaming toddler?

a) With a stern look and a word or warning.

b) With some gummies and a little compromise.

c) With an uppercut and a smackdown.

 

5) Do you have some reserves stashed away in the Cayman Islands?

a) I also have some in Switzerland and an aluminium pack in my freezer.

b) I’m conservative, just a regular bank account.

c) I prefer to spend my moolah, mostly on Louis Vuittons and Jimmy Choos.

 

6) How many days can you go without bathing and making the toilet?

a) My all-time record is 11 days, 6 hours and 47 minutes.

b) A day or 2, I suppose.

c) Are you kidding? Making the toilet is my special time in the day. Every day.

 

7. Do you mind if your child calls your maid mommy every once in a while?

a) I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a fork.

b) Not entirely keen on the idea but hey, that’s life.

c) You mean the maid’s name is not mommy?

 

Score:

10 to 14 points: Congratulations, this is your destiny. Time to tender that resignation and whip out those hair curlers.

5 to 9 points: Can’t really help you there. Could go both ways, you’d do well working or staying home with the kids.

1 to 4 points: Whatever you do, don’t quit that day job.

 

Tell me how you did!

a spot of singapore

Boardwalk lovin’

Morning, y’all. Hope your weekend was a good one, as all Easter weekends should be. Mondays are usually less blue after a lazy long weekend. Or more blue, depending on how much you dread going back to work, I suppose. Either way, I ain’t complaining about having 3 days off.

With the husband home for 3 whole days, we managed to check out some new places and revisit some old favorites with the kids. I’ll put up the ones we really enjoyed, starting with the Changi Point Boardwalk.

After hearing about the Changi Point Boardwalk, we just had to check it out. Mostly because any place with the name boardwalk in it has got to be fun. It’s got such a nice ring to it, boardwalk. Like Scorsese’s Boardwalk Empire (love it), Sentosa Boardwalk, and now Changi Boardwalk.

The kids loved that they had so much space to run free and we loved that there were railings to prevent them from falling into the ocean.

It’s been getting tougher trying to keep up with Tru ever since he started on his acceleration training. It’s a move he learnt from Lightning McQueen. He stops for a moment, strikes a deadly prepare-to-accelerate pose, mumbles “FOCUS, SPEED…” then sprints off into the sunset.

The good news is that we have a potential Usain Bolt on our hands but the bad news is that momma won’t be able to keep up.

If you plan on visiting, I’d recommend going later in the day. Most of the boardwalk has no shade so we spent a lot of time under the scorching heat. Couple that with having to sprint after a kid on speed, I honestly felt like I was going to pass out from heat exhaustion. Good thing there’s the husband to tag team with.

unqualified parenting tips

Saying no shouldn’t have to be this hard

Before I had kids, I used to take issue with over-indulgent parents who gave in to the every whim and fancy of their precious (and usually obnoxious) offspring. What happened to the good old fashioned N-O? It’s relatively simple, a “no sweetie, you can’t have that extra fifth helping of ice-cream” or “no, shoving that helpless blind guy is wrong, pumpkin.”

I was so sure that when it came to my turn, I’d be the parent who knew how to say no. But turns out, saying no to kids is like running for elections against the PAP – very difficult.

First of all, it’s a primal parent instinct. There’s something about popping an 8-pound human out of your bits that makes you want to give them everything they ask for. Like “look kid, I’ve given up my career, my holidays, my shopping and my privacy, I might as well just throw in that shiny new swingset. You want that 300-piece dollhouse too? Bam, done. And while we’re at it, here’s every single Beyblade known to humankind.”

And then there’s the fallout that is just so fun to deal with. The pleading, the tears, the dramatic soap opera wails, and every other weapon in the arsenal every kid. Sometimes I consider saying no when they ask to have that last pack of gummy and I’ll spend a moment thinking of the impending meltdown and I totally chicken out because I am literally too exhausted to deal.

This morning, baby girl woke up and with her sleepy eyes, she asked if I could bring her for a helicopter ride. I mean, most kids ask for a toy helicopter but no, my kid wants to be up on an actual helicopter. And I know that she knows what it is because she’s been watching Pixar’s Cars where Mater gets to go on one of them fancy helicopter rides. I’ve never even gone on a helicopter myself but now that’s the latest addition to my bucket list. Bring my baby girl for a spin in a helicopter.

The way I see it, there’s nothing wrong with indulging the kids every now and then. I can’t help wanting to give my kids the best and if that comes in the form of a spanking new Playstation 3 or a helicopter ride, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But it’s important that our kids don’t grow up with an entitlement complex and we try to do it by teaching 2 things: gratefulness and patience. To be thankful for the things they do get and patient in waiting for the things they don’t.

That’s probably why we sometimes say no to them just for kicks. And when they respond with maturity, they usually get what they want sooner than later.

Videos I dig

Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass

The kids taught me a hilarious chinese rhyme recently, a popular one called Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass. Some people know it as Cherry Cherry Lom Chiam Pass, or even Chelly Chelly Lom Chiam Pass. The husband says people didn’t have fancy names like Sally back when the rhyme started but I honestly do not know a single person called Chelly so I’m sticking with Sally.

Anyway, they learnt it from my mom-in-law, who’s been doing a fabulous job teaching them Chinese. Unfortunately, I had no idea what they were saying because it sounds nothing like the Chinese I know and I had to wait for the husband to come home to translate.

If you need a translation, here’s what it means in English:

Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass
Pee Por Pee Por
Left Kiss, Right Kiss
High High, Low Low
Front Front, Back Back
Sally Sally Lom Chiam Pass