Monthly Archives

January 2010

milestones & musings

Happy half-year birthday, baby girl

January 15, 2010

To my little princess,

You’re finally six months old. I couldn’t wait for you to reach this age because let’s face it, having a newborn is tough. You’ll understand when you have your own kids. The excitement of having a new baby wears off after 2 days and after that, you’re all like “I wish I gave this whole childbearing thing a little more thought” and “OMG please make this baby go back where it came from so she would stop crying“.

What, you thought I was going to wax lyrical about how wonderful it is to wake up every 25 minutes in the middle of the night not knowing how to make you fall asleep? Trust me, the novelty loses its charm.

Six months ago, I didn’t think I would survive having 2 kids back to back. My days and nights were one long, never-ending cycle of feeds and screaming and diaper changes and burping and more screaming and 15-minute naps and milk expressing and some more screaming.

Today, I welcome this milestone with open arms and much relief but also some wistfulness.

For most of that six months, I held you and sang to you and told you stories while you sat on my tummy and gazed into my eyes. Some days I wished you would grow up sooner so that I could talk to you about all the fun stuff we’d do next time like shopping in Paris and nibbling profiteroles on the Upper East Side. But I know that when you’re a little bigger, I’m really going to miss all those amazing baby moments I really love.

Like how I love the way your head flopped around and your legs gave way after exactly 2 seconds. I love how you gurgled when I told you stories about princesses and dragons. I love how you reserve your chuckles only for the really hilarious moments so that it’s special. I love the wide-eyed wonder whenever you see something new. I love how you suck on all four fingers instead of your thumb. In a weird way, I really love how much you need me now like I’m your entire world.

Soon enough, your legs will be strong enough to stand without my help and you’ll be off running to see the world. You’ll be big enough to read stories on your own and make your own friends and fall in love with boys (but just choose 1 to marry, ok) and live life without needing momma by your side all the time. I’m going to miss having baby you when that happens.

Thanks for sticking with me even though I killed your bear. And all those times that I had no idea how to make you feel better, thanks for looking at me like I’m the best momma in the world.

You know, the toughest thing about being a mom is knowing what’s best for you and loving you the way you need to be loved as you grow. To let go when I need to and stay close enough so that you know I’ll always be around when you need me. If I ever get too clingy, it’s only because in my eyes, you’re always going to be my baby. Even when you’re 25 and married. But I promise to be cool, or at least try.

Love,

Momma

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stuff best described as not safe for parents

A “Get out of Jail free” pass, three hours a day.

January 11, 2010

Going out is fun

It’s nice to be out on a Monday morning. Or any morning for that matter.

The whole of last year, I spent being at home. As far as the world was concerned, I fell through the cracks and off the map. It’s like I didn’t even exist. Except for a couple of hours during the weekends, I spent all of my days and nights at home in my PJs.

For a while it was nice not to bother about makeup and pretty clothes because there is no way I’m dressing up just to be at home running after two crazy kids. Comfort trumps all, I thought. But as I’ve come to realize, feeling that comfortable all the time is not good for morale. It’s nice to dab on some makeup and head out for some fresh air. It’s nice to meet people again, even if it’s just making small talk about how cute my baby is. It’s nice to have a real latte and a scone. Did I mention the fresh air? I really miss fresh air.

Anyway, baby girl has been enjoying the time out. She’s been surprisingly adaptable and unfussy. I was prepared for some adjustment on her part but she’s been eating well and taking hour-long naps outdoors, which gives me some time for breakfast and a nice book.

Although I got to say, being out is a hell of a lot more tiring. There’s still a thousand things to pack when I’m out with two babies, and also a lot of contingency planning and improvisation like when they projectile vomit or have such a massive pack of poop it spills out of their diaper and onto everywhere else or throw a colossal hissy fit for 15 minutes. When these things happen, I ask myself why I’m pathological enough to venture out of the home alone with two kids.

Then I think about the alternative, which is house arrest. I think I choose fresh air.

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Funny or So I think

Flash cards are awesome and lizards are ewww

January 7, 2010

I always said that I wouldn’t turn into that kind of parent. You know, the kind that buys flash cards for their kids and sends them to playschool at 18 months. But against my better instincts, I am turning into that kind of parent. What’s next? Donating a very large sum to a fancy private school so that my kids have a direct entry to their very prestigious institution.

I admit, I used to think that flash cards were lame. My kids will learn by real life observation rather than reciting a bunch of flash cards a million times a day. Then I realized that it’s impossible to expose him to stuff like killer whales and fire-breathing dragons everyday. Heck, some people go through their whole lives without ever seeing a golden-horned unicorn. And the easiest way to teach them stuff is through flash cards. Well, besides TV, I mean. I suppose I could draw stuff on a piece of paper, but all my animals end up looking suspiciously similar and that’s just going to mess with his head.

Anyway, the husband came back with a pack of jigsaw flash cards from Borders the other day and it’s actually pretty handy. It’s got all these awesome lifelike photos of stuff that corresponds to each alphabet.

And then I saw this.

World's creepiest flash cards

Who puts lizards as the first item under L? Morons, that’s who. There’s tons of perfectly cool items that start with L. Like leprechauns and lightsabers and liposuction. It’s like watching Barney sing the I love you song on youtube and then suddenly it cuts to a scene from Exorcist when you least expect it. Bloody hell.

I’m not overreacting because I have a thing against looking at pictures of lizards and their relatives (think snakes, komodo dragons, crocodiles). I stopped watching National Geographic because there was this documentary on lizards once and it gave me nightmares for weeks. I can’t look at pictures of lizards without thinking that they are going to suddenly spring to life and attack me. Yes, it’s not real, I know, but I NEVER touch pictures of slimy stuff because I can literally feel it in my head and that totally creeps me out.

One time, my little friend Joie put a very-realistic-fake-lizard on my shoulder (instigated by the husband, obviously) and I almost passed out from a panic attack.

So I’ve successfully taught Tru that lizards are evil and should be destroyed. Now every time he sees the lizard, he goes “ewww, gross“. I told you, he’s a genius.

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out of the box

First day of school and Tru got himself a groupie

January 6, 2010

First shot at riding a bike

The first day of school has always been traumatic for me, mostly because I’m shy and awkward and resistant to change. I thought things would be different when it came to my kids but it is still as nerve-racking for me. My son, he’s chillin’ like ice cream filling but momma, not so much.

I was actually real excited about having 3 whole hours to spend alone with baby girl since she hasn’t had me all to herself in like… ever. I had my week all planned out. On Mondays we’ll go to the library, Tuesdays and Thursdays to the park, Wednesdays to Starbucks and on Fridays we will go visit friends for playdates.

Yesterday for the first time, I neatly labelled and packed Tru’s bag, made him a sandwich and dropped him off to school like a big boy. Just like we expected, Tru hit the ground running and fell right into formation like a trooper. On the first day, he played in the sandbox, tried riding a tricycle and made a new friend (and by friend I mean groupie). Something tells me that he’s going to have a lot of fun in school.

So all is good, except that I really miss him. It’s a breather for me and baby girl seems thrilled but it’s so different without him around. The 3 hours of freedom I got, I spend missing my little man.

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not feeling so supermom

I’m practically a shoo-in for the mother’s equivalent of a razzie

January 4, 2010

You know how baby girl is so unassuming? She’s a totally fuss-free baby, right from the day she was born. Doesn’t demand very much, except to have a full tummy and an empty diaper. Her 2 favoritest activities are watching us blitz around the house all day and talking to her best friend, Kiki (her favorite bear hanky from down under).

During happier times

During happier times

That’s all she needs to be happy, milk, diapers and Kiki.

It’s supposed to make my job as her mom is pretty simple. Just keep those three coming and I’ve got a happy camper on my hands. Here’s where I become the worst mom in the world. Yesterday, I lost Kiki during our trip to town. Somewhere amidst the madness of hauling 2 kids around in the blistering heat, Kiki fell out of the stroller and was never seen again. As far as Kirsten is concerned, I murdered her best friend. To say that she’s absolutely devastated is an understatement.

That bear is her entire life. It’s all I need to make her sleep. She’ll nuzzle her face into the bear and drift off to to dreamland on her own. Every morning, she spends a good half hour talking to the bear before she cries for milk. And now I’ve gone and destroyed her only friend in the world.

I totally understand because I used to have a best friend myself, albeit an imaginary one. Essentially the same thing. Her name was Pooky and we used to do everything together. Then one day, I found out that Pooky was also a profanity commonly used to refer to a part of the female anatomy. Which was also the day I decided to let her go. I realize it’s not quite the same thing as baby girl, but I feel her pain.

Since yesterday, baby girl has been unable to sleep and she’s lost all appetite. All she does is grab her head in agony and scream.

What’s worse than the worst mother in the world? Me, probably.

We’ve been searching the malls for the bear but I’m pretty sure she’s been trampled to death. Short of flying to Sydney to get a new one, it’s unlikely I’ll get it back. I’m going to have to spend the next week trying to convince her that Kiki has gone for a makeover and come back as another bear. Then if she takes to the new bear, I’m going out to buy another 10 more just in case.

Updated: I couldn’t find a bear so I got her a duck and stuck it in my bra for half a day. I went up 2 cup sizes and she totally bought it. WIN.

Happy times again

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