Yearly Archives

2009

School shopping, less fun than you think

December 14, 2009

Tru’s going to be starting school in January and he’s really excited. It’s more like a 3-hour playgroup every morning where he gets to dole out free hugs to more kids and do fun stuff like building sandcastles and water fights play. It hardly constitutes as school but he’ll be wearing a real uniform and carrying a lunchbox like a big boy.

In an education-obsessed society that we’re in, school shopping is possibly one of the most harrowing experiences parents have to go through. The top schools have a waiting list up to 2 years in advance so that means the really hardcore parents have to register as soon as the child is born. That’s just insane. With all the responsibilities of a new baby, picking a school did not seem like a priority.

Plus, I did my primary school education in Ping Yi Primary, where the boy next to me crapped in his pants and spat on us every other week right up till he was 12. It’s one of the merits of public education. It’s so awesome that the school no longer exists today because I’m pretty sure the non-existence of crap on the floor is kind of like a prerequisite for enrollment.

Principal: At our school, we treat every student like he has the potential to be the next Prime Minister or world class surgeon. We have a dedicated staff of teachers…

Parent: Is it me or does it smell funky in here? OMG is that a piece of crap on the floor?

And another one bites the dust.

But then again, I still turned out ok.

In any case, we weren’t planning to enroll him till he was 3 or 4 so it’s not like we were really looking. But it was like a stroke of genius one afternoon. We always knew that Tru was too advanced for his age and he always seemed thrilled to be around other kids. Being cooped up at home cramped his style and he was a natural at socializing and falling into formation. It was like he actually enjoyed being ordered around and following what other kids were doing. It doesn’t work when I order him around, but when other kids are following instructions, he thinks it’s a game and does the same.

Of course, it’s great for me too, because it’ll give me 3 hours of uninterrupted time alone with baby girl.

So began the search for the perfect playschool. It was harder than we thought. My checklist was extensive, to say the least. The teachers had to be good with kids, well-spoken (none of that li-ber-ry, ter-ri-ber nonsense), fun and firm without being militant. The environment had to be bright and happy. The curriculum had to be well-planned. The location had to be convenient. The kids not too brattish. And so on.

We finally found the school we were looking for and Tru took to it immediately. During the visit, he was beaming the whole time. We spoke to the teachers and we knew it was everything we were looking for. Then they told us that it was full and they wouldn’t be able to take him in next year. After 2 months of waiting, we finally got news that Tru got a place and we celebrated like he was accepted into Harvard.

Next step, actually getting him into Harvard.

by Daphne

lists you should paste on your fridge

Things you learn as a mom that you would otherwise never know

December 11, 2009

I’m talking about the serious stuff here. Besides the obvious ones like feeding and bathing and changing. These are the elementary stuff that are already covered to death by yet another definitive parenting guide, on top of the thousands just like it.

Here are some of the real mothering lessons that books will not teach you and you will discover them suddenly when you are right smack in the middle of it. I keep adding new lessons to my repertoire because just when I think that I’ve learnt them all, it’s like they can come up with new ones just so I can keep learning. Here we call it lifelong learning.

1. Eating codfish makes your poop, pee and puke smell like rotting fish. Salmon is ok. But every time Tru eats codfish, it’s like I’m puckering up to a bucket of dead fish.

2. Freshly folded laundry is an open invitation to be messed up. I turn my back for 2 seconds and it’s all over the floor again faster than you can say “can’t touch this“.

3. They are never hungry at mealtimes and starving at all other times, especially when there’s ice-cream and cookies involved.

4. If you want to something destroyed or lost, tell your kid NOT to play with it.

5. You can go 3 days without doing the number 2 before it starts to count as constipation.

6. When you have a diaper emergency, a maxi pad, kleenex and tape will do the job.

7. It takes exactly 1 minute and 18 seconds to eat a plate of noodles standing over the kitchen counter while your kid shouts “eat, eat, eat, eat, eat”

8. When you have no time for a proper meal, chocolate, chips and coke/coffee will give you all the energy you need. Sugar, carbs and caffeine – all the ingredients for a mother’s balanced diet.

9. If you are out and *really* need to warm up a bottle of milk, stuff it into your bra. That’s where it came from in the first place. Unless you got cold boobs then I suggest trying the armpits.

10. If you are out and *really* need to chill a bottle of freshly expressed milk, just use the a/c.

by Daphne

how i pretend to be a cool mum

Tis the season to be jolly

December 10, 2009

December is my favorite time of all because it’s Christmas. It’s also the end of the year, a time when people are generally more relaxed and less high-strung. The streets are bright and pretty. The air is fresh and crisp and cool(er). You have a skip in your step to keep in tune with the carols that float on by. I get to put up the tree and drink toffee nut latte. It’s the season of giving, which also means it’s the season of receiving. December heralds happy times.

Christmas is special for me. For as long as I could remember, Christmas is amazing. Even in the crappiest of years, Christmas always made me smile. There’s magic fairy dust in the air that makes people extra special nice on Christmas. If you ever want to sucker punch somebody in the face, do it on Christmas and you’re most likely to get away with it. But also make sure you can run very fast just in case they’re the grinch and hate Christmas and actually are doubly crabby on the day that Jesus was born.

While we’re at it, you know why Christmas is so awesome? It’s got Jesus. As a baby. Plus little baby sheep. And *everybody* likes babies. That’s like having the most awesome thing in the world and making it even more awesome. It’s a recipe for success. I mean, I like Easter too because resurrecting from the dead is possibly the coolest thing ever and totally like in your face, satan, but the whole crucifixion thing is a bit of a dampener and it just makes you want to cry.

So like I said, when it comes to December, there’s love in the air.

In addition to my recent redecoration, I’ve put up the Christmas tree and started playing Christmas carols. (I’ve got a playlist of 162 songs related to Christmas so it takes me almost a week to get through the whole cycle) Looks like I’m all set for a perfect Christmas this year. Now all I need to do is check off my list of Christmas shopping and I’m good to go.

the tree

Ever since Tru was born, we’ve started a Christmas tradition. We all wake up on Christmas morning to fresh coffee, fluffy pancakes, bacon, ham, eggs and toast. Then we rip open the presents and party all the way till the evening when the entire extended family comes over for a blowout bash with caroling, turkey and pudding.

We’re going all out to make it special for the kids like getting them the coolest presents and packing the day with loads of fun. So that even after they grow up, they always remember the feeling of waking up on Christmas morning.

That feeling, it’s priceless.

by Daphne

not feeling so supermom, side effects of motherhood, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Just so you know, toddler sleep training is a pain in the ass

December 8, 2009

So Tru’s new nursery looks great and all, but it’s thrown his sleeping patterns all off, which is not good for me. I think the reasons are twofold. First, it’s way too fun to be doing any sleeping in. He can play on the bed all night and when he’s bored he can easily climb off anytime. FREEDOM!

Also, I think he feels insecure without his crib, like maybe it’s too exposed and therefore susceptible to attack from unknown entities. I tried explaining to him that if something was to attack him (ie a flying cockroach or gorgeous zombie with killer hair), it’s far better to be able to escape rather than be caged in but I’m not sure he gets it.

If there’s one thing I learnt about parenting, it is the need to change and adapt. Just when you’ve settled into a nice routine and you think that life is good, it’s time for a change. Sort of like ninja training. You have to keep an eye out for sudden sneak attacks because the so-called sense of security you feel, that’s false. Prior to the new beds, the kids were doing good. They sleep on their own without any fuss and they sleep through for 12 hours every night.

This transition to a toddler bed was harder than I thought. Now when I put Tru to bed for the night, I can’t just put him down on the bed, kiss him goodnight and walk out. He climbs off the bed like a streak of lightning and reaches the door before I do. Either that or he starts screaming his head off. I spent the whole week reading up on toddler sleep training methods and tried them all. You might want to know that ALL of them were a real pain in the ass.

1. Every time he gets out, just put him back into the bed and say it’s time to sleep.

According to the books, this is supposed to work after a week or two. Except that I may already be committed to the asylum by then. One nap, I did it 83 times (I counted) and he was still bright as a button. He thought it was some sort of a game and kept giggling. I gave up after that and let him sleep on my bed.

2. Put him on the bed and leave the room.

He shrieks like a banshee the moment I leave and goes on for a very long time. This worked when we were training him to sleep in his crib but somehow this seems terribly cruel and it would totally break my heart if I went in to see him slumped over on the floor after an hour.

3. Sit beside him and pat him till he falls asleep.

Anyone who’s tried this will tell you that sometimes, you can pat and pat and pat until your hands lose all feeling and they will still be grinning back at you. Tru does one better. He’ll be digging my eyes, putting things into my ears and then just as I’m about to lose it completely, he spread his arms wide and says hug. He knows that’s one thing I can’t refuse.

So it’s been a harrowing week. I came up with my own method which is perhaps an amalgamation of all of the above. When it’s time for a nap, I sit down beside him but on condition that he lies down without playing. If he tries to get off, I tell him that I’ll leave the room and he’s got to sleep on his own. Obviously he tried it and I left the room for 10 minutes while he screamed his head off. Now all I do is say lie down and close your eyes and it totally works. But it still takes him a while to fall asleep and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, I’ve got to be there to help him fall asleep again.

Which means that the little sleep I’ve got has gotten even less. My only consolation is that this transition has got to happen sooner or later. Might as well get it out of the way now and hopefully he learns to sleep on his own bed without momma’s intervention. Soon.

by Daphne

kids inc

Unveiling the new nursery

December 7, 2009

As part of Tru’s 18th month birthday celebration, we decided to give his nursery a facelift. It’s been keeping me busy the whole of last week. Kirsten was outgrowing the co-sleeper and it was nice time for Tru to transition to a toddler bed, so we gave his crib to baby girl and got 2 toddler beds for the kid’s nursery.

Why 2? It’ll eventually be used for Kirsten and in the meantime, it will serve as a spare bed for when Tru’s friends come for a sleepover. Or he can alternate beds every night like the Sultan of Brunei. We also threw in a slide to complete the look and Tru thinks his room is like playground heaven.

Tru's favorite bed for now

I think the eyes are too creepy for him

Tru can go up and down 50 times a day

Since he was getting bored with some of his toys, we retired some of them and brought out some new ones. Then every couple of weeks, we swap them again. This way, they think that they’ve got tons of new toys all the time.

We’re still working on the nursery. We’re thinking of adding wall stickers and some new curtains. I found this website with lovely fabrics which will be perfect for making curtains. I’ve shortlisted 2 but that’s where I got stuck. Here’s where I need your help. Anyone with an eye for design, some advice would be great. So what do you say? Option A or B?

Option A

Option B

by Daphne

kids inc

18 months

December 3, 2009

To my handsome little man,

Happy 18th month! How did you grow up so fast? I miss the tiny little baby that you were, when you would lie on my chest to sleep for two hours without squirming and all you could do was look up at me with those little baby eyes. What happened to the baby eyes? Now you look at me with a glint of mischief before thinking of new ways to destroy my possessions as well as my sanity.

I'm working on the abs

In the past six months, you’ve started walking, forming words and climbing on every ledge you can find. I love that you are trying to express yourself using actual words instead of a secret code of various high-pitched shrieks. You know key words like no, eat, blanket, poop, hug, sleep, and even difficult ones like youtube, please, are you sure, are you for real, awesome.

Before you were born, we dreamed of having a ruddy, mischievous kid to turn the house upside down and you were exactly what we pictured. Smart, cheeky, funny, affectionate, generous and kind. You play with toys differently from other kids because you get bored so fast and next thing I know, you’re stacking lego blocks on your head or building a fortress using your stuffed toys. You learn stuff real fast just by watching us do it once. Every time you do something naughty, you’ll go “hey, no no” like momma does it, then proceed to do it anyway, and with much gusto.

Although what really surprised us was how sweet and generous you are. You love going around giving out hugs, even to the kid that shoved you away and snatched your toy. You hug and kiss your little sister all day and you even let her hold your precious blanket, even if your idea of sharing means she gets to hold it for 5 seconds max.

Best of all, you’re tremendous fun to be with. You’re always giggling and thinking of ways to make us laugh. Even when you have no idea what we’re laughing at, you still guffaw away like you’re in on the joke. That is hilarious.

You know how sometimes you get a present and it’s ok, not spectacular, but sometimes you get a gift and it’s out of this world, blow your mind to bits kind of awesome. It’s like that for us. The second one I mean. Twice. We feel like of all the kids in the world, we got the 2 best kids ever. We couldn’t be more proud of you. When you grow up and if you ever feel like you’re not good enough, know that there’s nothing you could do to make us love you more than we already do. And we’re ALWAYS, ALWAYS proud of you.

Love,

Mommy (and by extension, daddy as well)

ps. Don’t grow up too soon ok. One day you’re going to be too big to sit on my lap and snuggle and that will be an awfully sad day for me.

by Daphne

Funny or So I think, side effects of motherhood

In all likelihood I’m going to be bald in 6 months

December 1, 2009

Under normal circumstances, this would be hilarious, but now that it’s happening to me, it’s not. Not even a little. At the rate I’m losing hair, I will be completely bald in 3-6 months tops. I think it’s retribution because I used to laugh at bald people. I had a university lecturer who had a particularly shiny pate which looked like it was oiled to perfection (insert bald joke here). I thought it would never happen to me because I have thick, voluminous hair that when left to its own devices, looks something like this.

I don't even need products to look this good

In order to even have friends, I need to straighten my hair every year. I figured that in the list of calamities that could befall me (like being eaten by wolves or falling into a manhole) being bald is way, way down. Turns out, life has a funny way of making a point. Which is to NEVER LAUGH AT BALD PEOPLE. Right, I get it. Please don’t let me go bald. I promise to never make fun of another bald person again. Out loud at least.

According to google, sudden and excessive hair loss post pregnancy is normal. Thing is, words like sudden and excessive renders things abnormal (especially hair). Apparently, pregnant women hoard hair like a barber’s shop and after the baby comes out, they all start to fall out. Also, the stress of taking care of a baby exacerbates the condition. Plus, obviously I cannot let my hair fall all over my face like a crazy person all day, not when I’m running after two babies, so I pull them back tight at the beginning of each day.

Hormones, stress and scrunchies – the trifecta of baldness. It’s like I’m trying to make all my hair fall out.

I noticed the hair loss a couple of weeks ago. Every time I washed my hair, clumps of hair would fall out. I’m used to seeing several strands of hair fall out when I wash or brush but entire handfuls, that’s just crazy. I now have to vacuum my house everyday because there is hair EVERYWHERE. Even when I’m calmly surfing the net, I’m losing hair by the minute. I get up after an hour and the floor beside me is covered in hair. And I’m not even exaggerating.

Now would probably be a good time to go for a new look. Go a little wild and chop off the locks. Except that me and short hair, we do not have a good relationship. I had short hair all the way till I was 19 and it’s likely to be the reason I had so little friends before that. There’s a direct correlation between the length of my hair and the number of friends I’ve got. True story.

Also, if I come home with short hair one day, I will never hear the end of it from the husband. I will wake up to hair jokes and there will be more hair jokes plastered all over the wall and when I go to bed, that’s right, more hair jokes. I will eventually have to go out and buy a wig.

I need some help here. Google is not really helping because it says there’s no solution except to wait it out for the next 8 months. The hair loss usually stops after a year, but I may not have that long. So what I really want to know is this. Should I even try to treat it or save the trouble and just go get myself a hot, blonde wig?

by Daphne

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