Yearly Archives

2009

pregnancy

10 reasons why baby is crying

July 28, 2009

The toughest part about taking care of a newborn is their inability to indicate what they want. After a while, the body adjusts to handle the late nights and the diaper accidents, but the crying is what really gets me. They’re so helpless and all they can do is cry regardless of whether they’re hungry, tired, fussy, gassy or bored. I know there are theories that suggest one can easily tell what the baby needs from the type of cry but 2 kids in, I’m still as clueless as ever. It all sounds the same to me and every time Kirsten cries, it’s all a matter of trial and error. Mostly error, which then leads to me being on trial.

With a toddler, it so much easier because they can point to the object of their desire and it’s pretty obvious what they want. Tru has this way of grabbing my hands to do his bidding as if they’re an extension of his own. He also grabs my face if he wants my attention. Life is much simpler when I get him and he gets me.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to infants. Whenever she starts screaming, it’s “take it from the top” time. I’ve got a checklist that I run through in order of importance to eliminate all the options until I find out what’s the cause of her displeasure.

1. Hungry. This is the top of the list for my little milk drinking machine. 70% of the time, she cries out of hunger, and milk quickly solves the problem.

2. Dirty diaper/nappy rash. If milk doesn’t solve the problem, check the diaper for poop.

3. Gassy. The solution is simple – burping, but it sometimes takes a helluva long time. I can pat her back for 45 minutes and still not hear that elusive burp. Believe me, at 4 in the morning, it’s sheer torture.

4. Sleepy. If the crying is due to sleepiness, Chucky will usually surface within a couple of minutes. Her eyeballs will start rolling up to the top of her head, leaving only the whites. Oh so cute.

5. Too hot. Bring on the air-conditioning.

6. Too cold. Bring on the blankets.

7. Sick. This is a tough one. The obvious signs are fever, coughing, sneezing, runny nose or diarrhea, which should be checked by the PD asap.

8. In pain. Sometimes her little fingers get caught in the crib or Tru jabs her too hard in the face. A little kissing should make the boo-boos go away in no time.

9. Bored. It’s time to bring on the juggling and fire-eating. Very excite.

10. Fussy. This is the absolute killer. When all the above fails, it usually means she’s in one of those legendary fussy moods where nothing works. This can last anything from 10 minutes to 2 hours. Even more excite.

Studies show that the sound of a baby’s cry causes one’s blood pressure to increase tremendously. Especially for mothers, it’s the most distressing thing to hear. MAKE. IT. STOP!

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pregnancy

27 hours

July 27, 2009

I’ve got a long overdue post on the labor and delivery. 27 hours must be some kind of record and folks all want to know what the experience was like. I dare say, there’s no other experience like childbirth and that’s why dudes will never understand. That’s also why they must be the first to apologize in every argument. It’s like a trump card with unlimited powers.

All fights with the husband should go something like this.

Husband: You’re being irrational and unreasonable.

Me: I gave birth to your kids. There’s nothing rational about THAT.

Husband: Yes, but it doesn’t mean I have to give in all the time.

Me: 27 hours. That’s how long I was in labor.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Me: You don’t look sorry. I need to see some remorse here.

*This should eventually lead to some diamonds, flowers and some pretty hot sexytime.

Never mind that in the 27 hours, I was chilling out watching Chuck for about 10, and for the next 16, I was under the influence of epidural. But then again, that 1 hour of pain almost drove me to hurl profanities at the nurse, midwife and most of all, the husband, without whom I would not be in that state to begin with.

You know how sometimes on retrospect, some experiences seem less painful with the benefit of hindsight? Like this one time, I had a bad fall while rollerblading and a huge patch of skin got scraped off from my right side near my spleen. It hurt then, but now that I think about it, the pain was not that bad.

TOTALLY NOT THE SAME for labor. When I think about it now, I still get a shiver down my spine, because it felt like someone was rolling my uterus into a tiny ball and mashing it up. Seriously, if they didn’t give me the epidural, I would have been shouting for cyanide.

Although I did enjoy the part where I could feel the baby coming out. The only good thing about the contractions was that it culminated into that one moment where I could finally start pushing the baby out. It was like a scene right out of Grey’s Anantomy. I had one leg propped against the gynae’s hip and the other leg against the nurse and they were both yelling at me to PUSH. At that point, I had no idea which muscle to contract anymore, so it was pretty much mayhem in there. I had sweat pouring down my face and I was making sounds only Chewbacca could understand.

The whole time, the husband was peering intently at the goings-on, looking terribly appalled. I’m sure glad its over, but I’m also glad I went through it. I say mothers should be given a medal of honor, like a purple heart or something. Then again, we’ve got the kids to show for it, which is a way cooler medal if you ask me.

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kids inc

Mommy’s little girl

July 24, 2009

It’s amazing how being awake at 3 in the morning can give you immense clarity on things. Here I am half asleep and stoned out of my mind, hoping I don’t somehow spasm and drop the baby while I feed her. With one hand I’m holding her bottle, and with the other, I’m stroking her head to induce sleepiness so she will fall right back asleep after her feed (I’m a genius like that).

And as I’m holding her, it hits me that I now have a little girl in my arms. Ever since the delivery, I’ve been so caught up with the baby blues and the crying and exhaustion that I haven’t had time to really take in the awesomeness of it all.

my-girl-2

With Tru, I feel awfully proud all the time. Like he’s the coolest, cheekiest, most charming boy I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help feeling like one proud mama. He’s all ruddy and scruffy and I know that someday soon, he’ll be too big to my Mommy’s boy. Which is fine by me, cos who wants a namby pamby boy anyway? I’d much rather he goes out to explore the world and come home regaling stories of his adventures.

tru-ride

But now, holding my baby girl, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. She’s so girly and sweet and she’s got this lovely way of looking at me like I mean the world to her. She’s got daddy’s eyes, Tru’s nose and mommy’s drop-dead gorgeous everything else. She’s going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, and we’ll have to have to fight off boys till she’s 25. Or 45. Whichever comes later. Girls are different because she will always be Mommy’s little princess. Even when she’s all grown up and has her own kids, I would still shower her with hugs and kisses and we’ll have long chats over coffee by the fireplace (I’m thinking Lake Tahoe). I’m looking forward to those.

I often wondered before she was born if I would have enough love for the both of them, and whether I’d be able to divide it equally between them. Now I realize that you somehow find it within you to love them more that you ever thought possible. So I’m losing my sleep and a little bit of my sanity. I have been showered with all sorts of bodily fluids. I’m carrying the kids so much that I have lost all feeling in my arms (and they are also scarily muscular). But I’m their mommy, so I’ll suck it up and keep going in exchange for some hugs and kisses.

So before the madness begins again, I have to capture the moment and write this down. It’ll be all hands on deck when they wake up in the morning, so for now, I’m savoring the moment for just a little longer.

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kids inc

One is the loneliest number

July 23, 2009
siblings

siblings

I’m really glad that my 2 kids are taking well to each other. At first, I was a little concerned about sibling rivalry and whether Tru would get jealous of the new baby that is taking away all of Mommy’s time and attention. The first time he came to visit me in the hospital, he refused to look at Kirsten or go near her. Then we decided to get him a present saying that it was from his baby sister, and everything changed.

Over the past week, he’s been unbelievably sweet to her and just looking at them both makes me feel like it’s worth it, that I made the right choice having them so close together.

Being a single child and having all the attention is overrated. I have a brother who is 13 months older than me and growing up, we had a blast doing all sorts of crazy stuff together. It’s the next best thing to having a twin. I mean, it’s no fun playing alone and there’s nobody to cover your ass when you’re sneaking out to watch a movie instead of doing a school project. Of course there were many occasions where we were clawing each other’s eyes out, but I always knew that at the end of the day, he totally had my back.

Naturally, I’m hoping that the two kids will grow up being best friends. I don’t even mind if they conspire to conjure mischief. My superior Mommy brain will see it coming from a mile off anyway. I reckon my parents knew all our little tricks back then, but they indulged us once in a while.

I have a feeling Tru will be an awesome big brother. These days, the first thing he wants to do when he wakes up is to go and kiss Kirsten (and also poke her eyes and mouth – but I’m taking it as a sign of affection). It’s really sweet and on her part, Kirsten doesn’t seem to mind the occasional poke or smack to the face.

Just the other day, baby girl was crying for milk in the morning, and Tru was beside her drinking his milk. After like 10 seconds of her crying, he put down his bottle and started shouting at her, but not in a vicious way. Like “aahhh, aaahhh, aaahhhh”. I suspect he was trying to tell her that it’s ok, but he figured she probably couldn’t hear him with all the screaming so he decided to shout too. It was actually hilarious.

I think it’s going to be so fun with the two of them around.

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love bites

The sexiest man alive

July 22, 2009

The husband is the sexiest man alive because he came home with bubble tea yesterday. I know I’m supposed to be confined and drinking cold stuff is an absolute no-no. And cold stuff with caffeine, that’s like the cardinal sin for a confined mother.

So when the husband stepped in the house bearing the bubble tea, it was like I was back in school again, and he was this badass with the wind in his hair, wearing his trademark aviator shades and leather jacket.

*cue music from Top Gun*

The very reason why I fell in love with him seven years ago.

sexiest-man

Well, actually, it was mostly because he MADE me a precious moments card with glitter glue and tiny hearts this one time when I flunked an exam. I know. Precious moments is for pretty girls with braids dancing around the campfire. But somehow, a grown man who loves precious moments, it’s unbelievably hot.

Given my recent bout of the blues, the person who’s gotten it worst is the husband. He’s been at the receiving end of my rants, outbursts and tantrums and so far, he hasn’t even flinched. One moment I’d be on a war path and then I’d just break down crying the next. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have put up with myself.

The only thing keeping me sane these days is knowing that I’ll get to see him at 7pm everyday, and knowing that I’ve made it through another day. I didn’t think I was the clingy type, but what can I say, motherhood brings out the worst in us. I’ve become all needy and having him around is what keeps me going.

And bubble tea, of course.

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kids inc

Sleep is for the weak

July 21, 2009

Sleep is for the weak

I forgot how fun it is to take care of a newborn. I’ve gotten so used to Tru that I’ve taken it for granted that he sleeps peacefully through the night in his own room, feeds without fussing and does all kinds of cute stuff to cheer me up.

Is it bad that every moment of every day, I wish Kirsten will grow up sooner? It’s just been a week into her birth and I’m exhibiting all the signs of a sleep-deprived wreck.

My days and nights have been broken into 2.5 hour cycles of struggling to breastfeed (45 mins), bottle-feeding (30 mins), expressing milk (30 mins) and 45 mins to do whatever else need to be done at home. And there’s the insomnia. I’d try to lie down to catch forty winks intermittently through the day, but it usually takes me a good 30 mins to fall asleep. Then before I know it, Kirsten is screaming again.

When I’m awake, I hardly have the time or energy to spend quality moments with Tru and I feel awful about that too. He’s been a real trooper, entertaining himself and being real cooperative. Sometimes he would take a toy to me, indicating that he wants to play while I’m feeding Kirsten, and I’d be all frazzled like “Later, Tru, Mommy’s busy right now”. And right after, I would feel so bad that I’ll spend the next 15 mins bawling my eyes out. Even though he’s right there, I really miss my boy. I hope he doesn’t feel like I’m neglecting him.

Just last night, I slept a total of 90 mins because Kirsten was having a blast pooping on me and fussing and refusing to latch on again. Every feed its like a game of roulette, I have no idea if she’s going to latch on or suckle for 30 seconds before screaming or just start wailing the moment she touches my breast.

Now that the milk is in, I have no idea what else to do to make her feed direct from the breast. I’ll probably give myself till next Mon to keep trying. Its just too insane having to take so any extra steps expressing and formula-feeding and having to force her to latch on.

The depression is also causing me to lose all appetite, which is probably a good thing in the weigh-loss department. But I’ve gotta eat if I want to breastfeed, so I’m forcing down food even though I feel like throwing up half the time.

I need to sleep, but the end is nowhere in sight. I’m starting to hallucinate and become incoherent. Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy to have 2 kids back to back. It seemed like such a good idea back then, and I was so sure I’d be able to handle it. But I’m up to my eyeballs as it is, and sooner or later, something’s gotta give. I just hope its not my sanity.

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motherhood

Got Milk!

July 20, 2009

milk

In a series of unrelated events over the past few days, my breastfeeding attempts have taken a whole new turn.

1. THERE IS MILK!

With Kirsten in the hospital for phototherapy treatment for 3 days, I’ve been faithfully drinking the nasty papaya fish soup which smells like a shoal of rotten fish that’s left to decay for a month. At first, everyone thought it was an exaggeration, until I offered $5 to the husband to try it. Suffice to say, the puke-inducing look totally made my day.

I’ve slso been expressing milk every 3 hours (even at night, which is a huge sacrifice). Yesterday, the milk finally decided to come in and even though I’ve only got 5 ml after 30 mins, it was enough reason for me to do a victory dance.

2. Kirsten has become a milk drinking machine.

I don’t know what it is about my kids and food, but they can sure eat a lot. I’ve come to terms with the fact that Tru is insatiable, but I wasn’t prepared that my baby girl would be one cute little  eating machine that would beat him hands down.

During the 3 days she was in the hospital, she’s been consuming 100 ml every 3 hours. When Tru was her age, he could barely finish 40 ml. Scary, I know.

3. The first successful latch on

After many tries and a lot of crying, I finally managed to get Kirsten to latch on. I lasted about 15 minutes per side before she got really agitated. Couldn’t really blame her since I’m producing less than 10% of her feeding requirements.

So right now the plan is to feed her directly from the breast for as long as I can and then supplement with formula. At this point, she still needs another 80 ml of formula to fill her little tummy. Hopefully at some point, I’ll be able to completely eliminate the bottle.

One step at a time.

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