Yearly Archives

2009

motherhood

I need more hands

August 4, 2009

two hands ain't enough even for Wonder Woman

Yesterday marked the first day I stayed home with the kids ALONE and all I could think of the whole day was OMG THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE. No seriously, it’s no joke. First of all, I only have 2 hands, and technically, I suppose Wonder Woman could carry a child in each hand, but for me, it’s a physical impossibility. It’s at the moments when I have 2 kids clamoring for attention that I wish I had some spare limbs sticking out from my ass.

Ever since the delivery, I’ve had help from my mom, my in-laws and even a friend who offered to watch Tru for a whole day so I could spend some time alone with Kirsten. Yesterday, I decided it was time to go it alone. Did I already say it was tough? It’s like one non-stop, never ending party.

When I was taking care of 1 kid, I thought it was hard work, but on retrospect, it’s a walk in the park and I can totally do it with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. With 2 babies, I have double the diapers to change, double the baths, double the feeds and a million times the insanity. There’s no such thing as a breather and I almost peed in my pants because I didn’t even have time to run to the toilet. Guess that’s what adult diapers are for.

I used to look at mothers who can raise multiple kids alone without and help and wonder how they do it. Perhaps they’re a new breed of X-men with extra limbs tucked neatly in their clothes or they can split themselves into two or they can move at the speed of light or they’ve got a bunch of Oompa Loompas stashed in their storeroom. But I discovered the secret yesterday and I’m going to let you in on it.

It’s just a lot of hard work. These women are superheroes not because of some secret special powers but because they’re tremendously resilient. Because they somehow find it in them to give that little bit of extra. Because they make it work. And because when all else fails, there’s always Xanax to the rescue. Or some bourbon.

For example, multitasking is a necessity. I can carry Kirsten with one hand and cook Tru’s lunch with the other. I can sing lullabies while bathing one kid. I can even blog while burping the baby. And I also learn to make use of all my body parts in ways I never thought possible. Like halfway while feeding Tru his lunch, Kirsten woke up crying for milk, so I propped her up on my leg and used my chin to hold the bottle in place so my hands were free to continue feeding Tru his porridge. Ingenius, I know.

On days like these, I just want to run and hide while sticking my fingers in my ears to drown out the screaming. I just wish I had some special powers. That would be so much easier.

by Daphne

kids inc

Monkey see, monkey do

August 3, 2009

Tru’s at that age where he’s starting to pick up things faster than I can blink. And I don’t mean with his hands. He’s observing me and replicating everything that I do. It’s terribly cute but also scary as hell because I’ll be solely responsible for the way he turns out. Like if he picks his nose in public or gives some random kid a sucker punch in the nose, it’ll be all my fault (except that I NEVER pick my nose and I’m the most peacable soul around – I can’t even hurt an ant) Now I understand why parents are the first to get blamed when kids misbehave.

It all started out pretty harmless. When I’m doing the laundry or folding the clothes, he’ll come over and try to do the same thing, except make a bigger mess, but I’m guessing he was trying to help. Or when I’m fluffing the pillows and making the bed, I’ll see him trying to imitate me. But I didn’t give that much thought either. Until this morning.

So usually the mornings are madness these days. It’s mayhem from the time we get out of bed trying to get the kids changed and fed while the husband gets ready for work. Inevitably, there’ll be some crying because I do not have enough hands to attend to the small one when I’m changing the big one and vice versa. Sometimes, when I’m washing up, both kids will be up to some mischief. So anyway, I was brushing my teeth this morning when Kirsten woke up and started screaming for milk. Next thing I know, Tru goes up to her, points his index finger at her and says “Nonononono”.

Just a little bit of background, that’s my classic move when I’m telling Tru he can’t do something like drown himself in the pond or jump off the table Superman style. I’ll do the finger wagging and say “No no”. Apparently, he’s picked it up and doing it to his sister.

The implications are huge though. Now I have to think twice about raining curses on the next imbecile driver who almost gets me killed or when I stub my little toe on the curb. In fact, I’ll have to be on my best behavior ALL THE TIME from now on. I’ll have to eat all my spinach and peas, say please and thank you and not leave all my stuff strewn around the house. When I indulge in a tub of ice-cream, I’ll have to do it late at night or hiding in the kitchen like a fugitive. See, I’d rather not be explaining why he can’t have a tub himself.

They say having kids make all your flaws glaringly obvious. I say that’s an understatement. Having kids is like taking a loudhailer and blasting out all my imperfections at the top of my lungs while driving around the neighborhood. And then having it appear on the 6 o’clock news. Only this time, my kids are going to do it for me.

by Daphne

super sunday giveaway

2 Aug Super Sunday Giveway

August 2, 2009

Still Superdad here – it’s a Super Sunday Giveaway – geddit? I’ll be doing the giveaways so as to create more positive attributed feelings towards malekind as a whole and fathers in particular.

I promised you this would be good.

In Singapore, the most popular way to date is perhaps going to the movies, followed closely by watching pirated DVDs of the same movies in mind (not that I condone it, tsk tsk). Between the two of us, we kinda have a special place for Serendipity as our first ever date movie.

serendipity

It was a really sweet movie and Kate Beckinsale looked absolutely stunning. Notice I make no mention of John Cusack. More importantly, overwhelmed by the sheer romantic vibe emitting from the screen throughout the show, the Wife (or just the Girl in the Yellow Tee back then) was vulnerable and caught unawares when I decided to hold her hand. Of course I was pretty nervous and my palms were sweaty and it kind of slid off after that but it was the first move and not a bad one. Unfortunately once we got together the first show we watched as a couple was actually Jet Lee’s the One – it was horrendous but i guess memorable in its own way nonetheless and the title makes it easier to remember in the “know your spouse” sections of those crap-cheesy family funathons thingee.

But enough about our sex life. So…

What is your favourite date movie of all time?

Because if you share that with us by leaving a comment with your name (a nick would do), your email address (this has to be real so we can contact you) and of course, your favourite date movie of all time (details would be great but not necessary) you’ll stand to win a…*drumroll*

$28 Golden Village Movie Card!

Apologies to all non-Singapore readers, you probably wouldn’t want this and I definitely do not want to bear the cost of shipping this to you as that would far exceed the value of this card and ultimately you’ll like, flip this into the trash mumbling to yourself “Hmmph, i didn’t know Singaporeans were that third-world, they actually have PHONE CARDS as a giveaway. And I don’t care if they’re golden or not but VILLAGES? I should probably adopt a child from the bronze range.” But you can still leave a comment about your favourite date movies because third-world as we may be we do have movie screens here, except that they are no bigger than 14 inches and we have to gather in groups of twenty or so in our respective clans to catch another rerun of The Shining when the transceiver/scrambler picks it up on a clear day.

Anyhow, the giveaway runs for a week and closes on Sunday 9 August (Good Lord, that’s Singapore’s National Day! All heil the Emperor Prime Minister!) @ 2359 hours sharp. We’ll arbitrarily pick a winner based on completely random and undisclosed criteria (deal with it) and announce it on our 10 August post. Initially I wanted to make the whole thing a ‘best comment’ thingee but the Wife was like let’s not discriminate against those who may not be particularly adept at writing and I’m all like “now that’s a discriminatory remark toward your readers who I’m sure are all PMEBs and would have written NYT best selling books in their spare time if they had any.”

Also, we’re not sure if we’re able to keep giving stuff away every Sunday unless you guys want stuff like spare Benedictine DOM which I’m told is as high in alcoholic content as a Jack Daniel’s (hmm, that explains that night on 4 May). If you’re an advertiser out there and not Benedictine DOM, you are welcome to send us an email here.

In the odd chance that you may have forgotten what this giveaway was about – comments please to the question –

What is your favourite date movie of all time?

P.S As this is our first giveaway ever if the contest seems glaringly illogical or flawed or racist please drop us an email discretely at the contact me form.

P.P.S We’re STILL going to arbitrarily pick the winner so if you have an issue with that DO NOT click the “Contact Me” form nor leave a comment, rather, email us at hatemail@motherinc.org because that’s where hatemails go to die.

and the first winner goes to..

“Seven. Not a typical romance flick but it was my first date movie so it will always have some significance and brings back memories.”

ok, i’m not sure, but i think its the movie with the scene below and also Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box.

seven

If a guy can bring you on Seven for a first date (I know for a fact the Wife walked out on this one) and you end up marrying him and having his children – hey, you deserve the GV movie card for more date movies in the vein of Drag Me to Hell and Exorcist.

Congratulations to lilsnooze on winning the first Super Sunday Giveaway!

by Daphne

Father Inc

Yes, Superdad Can.

August 1, 2009

Hi there, I’m Superdad.

This post is going to be rambly and somewhat lacking in humility because I am in the midst of manifesting the full awesomeness of my powers – the Wife has just gone out to do her hair and eyebrows and potentially some shopping, leaving me alone with Truett & Kirsten.

I have successfully cleaned, bathed, fed, and put to sleep a three week old baby and a year old toddler all by myself, without the use of tranquilizers.

More reasons why I am super? Well..

1) I am faster than a speeding bullet in preparing the milk, changing the diaper and attending to the Wife’s every whim and fancy,

2) I am more powerful than a locomotive in opening stubborn bottle caps of baby food jars and,

3) I can carry a month’s worth of groceries from the car all the way to my house (up a flight of steps) in a single bound.

I have been hailed as the sexiest man alive and am known as an extremely , ahem, fruitful individual, thanks in no small part to an overenthusiastic colleague who yelled “ WOW! YOU ARE DAMN FERTILE” at the top of her lungs -the entire office was shaken – when she found out we were expecting Kirsten barely 5 months after Truett was born.

A bit of background here on my powers. I am an ordinary 28 year old dude but in my quest for extraordinariness, I turned to equipment for that little bit of extra. I guess I’m kinda more in the Batman vein of superness with all that gear (except that I won’t call myself BatDad, if I’m not wrong it sounds this place in the middle east or something. Ok, I’m actually trying to be witty here – I do know where that is, alright? You think I don’t know my South African geography?)

While I haven’t actually gotten down to using a Man-Boob like Greg Gaylord Focker , I do need my Brest Friend’s help in feeding Kirsten – somehow the ergonomics of a man’s arms just doesn’t do it for babies and the avoidance of milk spittle on me is great incentive for me to not mind looking somewhat ridiculous wearing it.

I do need the Miracle Blanket to induce Kirsten into a deep sleep or at least bind her like she’s some psychiatric patient so she doesn’t claw my eyes out.

I need my idiotic laundry dryer that has just died on me to save me the pain of hang-drying indoors so much so that my house now looks like a quaint shop selling antiquated undies.

But with the powers combined (and the equipment in place), I AM Superdad.

Question is, does the “super” even matter?

I’ve been talking to the Wife about how as Asians we tend to be brutally raised in a typically dysfunctional family with Dads that are aloof and at times outright violent in their parenting methods – and yet we turned out quite alright, pretty normal except for the occasional violent scream at an unwary stranger. Does it matter whether we are super or not? Perhaps Hitler’s Dad was a super dad for all we know.

Yet looking at the Wife and the two angels, it really doesn’t matter whether it matters or not, because I’m not quite raising baby Jesus himself. It doesn’t matter if they don’t invent the cure for Aids or the real iPhone killer or even appear in the local newspaper with half their body cropped out of a file photo.

I’m just enjoying the journey and trying to make it as easy for the Wife and as memorable for the kids as possible. And if they do turn become Stalinist one day at least they’ll look back and wonder “Boy, with the kind of childhood I had, how did I become this messed up?”

Kirsten is crying- Excuse me while I go put on my Brest Friend.

P.S Next week’s post is going to be so awesome it’s going to change your life.

P.P.S No, I mean it, it really is awesome.

P.P.P.S Tomorrow’s Super Sunday Giveaway is awesome too.

by Daphne

kids inc

Attack of the clones

July 31, 2009

I feel like a factory and my kids are like little clones coming out in exactly the same mould. Some folks have kids that take after one parent each and look as similar as carrots and peas (meaning not similar at all).

But my kids, they’re practically clones. If they were the same age they would look like identical twins.

Truett then

Kirsten now

Truett then

Kirsten now

Truett then

Kirsten now

ABy the way, this weekend is going to be an awesome weekend of firsts! We’re kicking off August with a guest post from Superdad *clap *clap* on Saturday (that’s tomorrow!) so do check back for that.

The best part of the weekend for you readers however would be the premiere of our Super Sunday Giveaway! We’ll be giving out something which I think you would like regardless of whether you’re a mommy or not.

Till tomorrow, have a great weekend!

by Daphne

kids inc

Second time’s a charm

July 30, 2009

It’s true what they say – experience counts for a lot. Being a mother a second time around, I am enjoying the process a lot more. Sure, I did some extensive research before Tru was born; gathering reading material, birthing videos, getting advice from other moms, but none of those really prepared me for the real thing. I remember during the first month postpartum, I was on the verge of breaking down countless times. I had no idea what to do with a screaming baby and motherhood was way too overwhelming. To be honest, there were days that I just wanted to run away and hide under a small rock in Disneyland. All I could think of everyday was OH GOD PLEASE LET THIS END.

Then against my better judgment, I went out and did it again. This time around, it’s been dare I say it, almost enjoyable. Thanks to the blasted hormones, the blues were inevitable, but it seems to have subsided somewhat and I feel stronger than I ever did. Even though it’s much crazier with 2 in the picture, I’m somehow managing to stay afloat and still take a gander at the scenery along the way. Granted, I swallow a few gulps of water here and there, but I ain’t drowning yet.

Like yesterday, I was expressing my milk while running after the two kids and in the process spilt an entire bottle of milk. It’s not that big a deal and it’s probably happened to many mothers but it’s the kind of thing that makes you lose it a little bit. I just stood there for half a minute trying to take deep breaths and count to ten, all the while thinking of all the expletives to describe the situation. You know like this episode of Friends, where Phoebe let out a whole string of profanities in slow mo (see below). But I looked at the kids looking at me and I let out a giant sigh, wiped up the spilt milk and carried on with my day.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68U7SAFsaEM

The point is that on any given day, my life is made up of moments. The good and the bad, sometimes happening all at once. The best thing to do is to just roll with it and not sweat the small stuff. No breast milk, there’s always formula and one feed less isn’t going to hurt. If the house is in a mess, that’s fine. The kids are screaming, they’ll get over it. Just roll with the punches.

And when you least expect it, you get a moment that makes you stop and smile and go all fuzzy inside. A moment kinda like this.

Tru kissing Kirsten. It happens about 20 times a day.

by Daphne

pregnancy

Keeping abreast of things

July 29, 2009

Ever since I decided to abandon ship on the breastfeeding directly from the breast, my life has settled down somewhat. Initially, I was intent to succeed at direct breastfeeding, seeing that it had so many benefits. It’s the main reason why I got the co-sleeper, so that I wouldn’t even have to get out of bed at night. Just grab, pop in the boob, feed and go right back to sleep. But Kirsten had other plans. After having tried the bottle during her stay in the hospital, she realized boob-feeding is a lot tougher and every time I tried to latch her on, it would inevitably result in a major screamfest.

Not good for my already frazzled nerves. So I’ve gone the route of expressing, which is the next best thing I suppose. It kinda sucks that I have to spend a good 4 hours of every day with the pump attached, but I’ve somehow mastered the art of typing, feeding, burping and chasing Tru around the house while expressing milk. It’s all a matter of multi-tasking.

The good news is, the milk supply has gone up significantly. From my measly 10ml, I just achieved a record of 140ml at 1am last night. That’s like almost 1 full bottle. Great success.

*Victory dance*

It still fluctuates between 70ml to 140ml, depending on the state of my nerves, but it’s still a marked improvement from my humble beginnings. Although with my insatiable milk machine, there’s still a long way to go before my supply exceeds her ever-increasing demand. Believe it or not, I actually know of someone who can produce 1.7 liters of milk every 24 hours. True story. That totally gives me hope.

I also want to give a shout out to the mothers who’ve been so forthcoming with providing tips on how to improve my milk supply. The blogosphere rocks and I would have probably given up completely if not for all the help I got. There’s even a mom who sent over a lovely nursing cover, which was a godsend. I can now express my milk even with visitors around. For all the designs, check out www.bigbellymama.com

nursing cover from www.bigbellymama.com

On another note, thanks to the breastfeeding, the weight loss has been phenomenal. Just two weeks in, I’ve lost 12kg. Now just another 15 to go.

by Daphne

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